Retreat Mode

[Chava]

tattoos to support mental illness and I just snapped at him and said it was a bunch of bullshit. Its not TRUE support

I think the emerging mental health awareness is great...and important. I don't love the cheap facebook version and tattoos, though it raises awareness. It's not "support" and most of the people who want to "support mental illness" wouldn't likely want to help any of us. I see a lot of this stuff around facebook. I have only one friend that has asked if she can help me somehow. People don't line up to help sad or difficult or stormy people. I left a workshop yesterday, which was a body-mind sort of thing and supposedly full of supportive or at least semi-mindful people. I don't think anyone noticed I left (had to go sit in the stairwell for an hour to settle myself). But today one woman asked how I was doing. In the next difficult class, I asked if she'd be my partner and it saved my day. This one "safe" person. She doesn't know anything about me but knows I'm just vulnerable and she just offered to be "there". When I couldn't talk after an activity she just waited patiently and said, "I'm here for you." She just knew what to do. Most people do not. They only have to be "here" really. Most of the time I just want someone to listen.

I don't ask for help well and I put up some overly-independent persona. I reap what I sow. I don't connect well. But it's still a horrible feeling to have no support or feel like there is nobody you can ask. Horrible. So, instead of just getting support it's this long-ass process of paying a therapist to support me as I slowly come out of my total habit of disengagement and learn how to do little things like make eye contact with people, by some luck meet someone who is interested in me and willing to develop a relationship at a snail's pace. It all seems pretty unlikely some days. I belong in a bigger community with more support groups or different meditation groups and other things like that. Are you involved that way? I do have some support through AA, but I even have a very hard time asking them for help.

Don't shut down. Just allow yourself a break. I know it's painful and frustrating. But I'm here, hearing what you're saying, if that helps any...

 

[hodge]

ItsKismet, you are not being bullied. Anthony and others have been trying to give you some helpful perspective, perhaps tough love style, but still helpful. You are obviously in a bad place right now, and that's what they are responding to. No one, and I mean NO ONE can be perfect 24/7 -- that is not even on the radar so please lose that misconception right now. None of us can be perfect 24/7 and nothing even remotely like that is required to do any kind of healing from this damned disease. Please try to take a step back and hear what we are saying. We want nothing but the best for you. It may not sound like that from everybody, but I'm sure that that's where everybody is coming from. Like I said, some have a more tough love style than others. I personally don't. (Unless I'm talking to a perpetrator.) And also please do try to talk about this stuff in therapy. You deserve to get better, dear, and I wish you the best.

 

[The Albatross]

I disagree. It is a personality or base mindset that does not serve what she wants. She has the choice, and can actualize what she wants. It is not bullying or tough love, it is misconception or myth busting.

Anthony is right... I do it as well... pick one and work on it. Get some competence, pick another one. More difficult than some things... yup, but getting where you want to go, dealing with the reactivity, trying not to emasculate everybody or flip into cognitive distortions... well it's better than that.

 

[scout86]

I hope you're doing better.

Do you seriously think I'd have replied to your post if I hated you?

 

[The Albatross]

Cognitive distortion or perceptual. Let's face it, not my all time fav, but you know... when we melt down, it's a "we" thing. We are a subgroup and a community.

My ugly inner critic says it's an attention seeking thing, and there are other cues too... this comes on the heels of something else on the forum and has been a reoccurring theme for a month or more. But.... Big BUT.... when I act out... I am usually trying to avoid or block out something else. Do I hate her, nope. Do I empathize? I try. Do I sympathize with her opening post? Nope... too much wrong there but I don't want her to curl up and die. Why? Cuz I believe every life is sacred. I still think it's on the wrong forum though... cuz the initial post didn't leave a whole lot to discuss.

I just think there's more to what she shared... though the flooding is evident, it has been a pattern for a while.

I have participated as long as is prudent under the circumstances... and with that... will log off after I go hear some media.

 

[Tanishq]

OP You make mixed attempts.

Sometimes you are kind, blunt, harsh, have a go at people. Thus you get mixed results. I am surprised to see this all. Then you have nerve to call out people. lol...

If you fix the timing thing, you can get better. Let me explain this.

When you see there is a need to be kind, be kind. Then don't become blunt, too harsh. Try to see what is needed. Try to understand what is needed. You can definitely do this, but it's a work for you.

 

[anthony]

So Anthony, how many people have killed themselves after you attempted to rip them a new one? I'm sure more than one! People come here for help and get put in their place.

Seriously? That's what you're going with? You come here, attack, berate, belittle, torment, and the list goes on, to all members and staff, then you flip it around as though now my problem. Just WOW! You are one very messed up person. Stick your tail between your legs after you start something, all big and brave, calling people names, mind reading, telling them what they think, all within your twisted mind to substantiate your own self inflated reasoning.

Like has been said... this is a community, yet you push everyone away here, then cry poor you. Boo hoo... you don't get it both ways. Grow up and stop your nonsense, be an adult and stop making excuses please. Stop blaming others for your own issues and take some damn responsibility for yourself and your actions.

If you aren't being helped here, you only have yourself to blame.

Honestly, after reading this nonsense, you deserve what you bring to yourself -- in your case, you only want to bring negativity and blame everyone else for it. Take care...

 

[Neverthesame]

I do sincerely hope you can find some calm, settle your soul, and get yourself to a place where you can feel safe.

You are not a bad person.

 

[ground crew]

hey, the poster has left a suicide threat on another thread.

 

[joeylittle]

We've got it, @ground crew - thank you, though. Appreciate your caring and communicating about it.

 

[ground crew]

Thanks. Lost people that way. Wrecked me last night.

 

[sun seeker]

You are one very messed up person.

Anthony, with respect, saying that does not generally help people evolve. I had to say something because almost those exact words were said about me a long time ago and the hurt and shame are still there when I remember it. I do understand the point you are trying to make, I just think there have to be better ways to get a point across about someone's behaviour.