I've been feeling quite lost since I've stopped dissociating...I'm feeling more than I'm used to and I don't think I always really know what to do with the feelings.
I relate to that...and also wanting the constant ability to numb out or dissociate to come back. I actually slipped back into drinking after many years sober (now sober again a couple weeks). It's hard to remember we're on the right track when there are these challenges. But it really is that I'm in a new, better place, and don't always know how to cope since my old (destructive) methods no longer serve me. Hang in there and keep sharing this struggle with your therapist too. You will find ways to manage, but it's hard in the in-between, I know..