This Really Isn't Working...

[Mammo]

Hi guys

I've posted previously whether others have had any experience of Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP)...it seems very "sensory" focussed in that it pushes you to physically feel sensations of feelings/emotion in your body; it's driving to shut down anxiety which is apparently blocking people from feeling their true underlying feelings (primarily anger) - and the goal is to get you to "release" this anger through imagining/fantasising about unleashing this anger against whoever it is that has hurt/upset you.

I think it's fair to say that I am really not good at this.

The "physical feeling of feelings" stuff is largely anathema to me; and the idea of being angry/rageful isn't appealing - not to mention the bit about imagining (literally) beating people to death...(!!).

This whole thing doesn't seem to actually be going anywhere. I don't know if it's me not "getting it" - my T had suggested seeing a separate T nearby to have someone third party try and have a crack at explaining this stuff to me...he also suggested group therapy...but the idea of that just really isn't appealing.

Alternatively, maybe he's just trying the wrong approach? Is there some other type of "therapy" that I could/should suggest? I've done a lot of reading up on this ISTDP thing, and I can't help but feel massively cynical about it all, it just sounds so made up, fluffy and incredulous.

Ideas????

 

[Sandstone]

What made you decide to follow this route?

 

[barefoot]

Sounds like it's not for you? If it lacks credibility as an approach for you and if key bits about it don't appeal, I think it would be very difficult to try to force yourself through that cynicism and resistance to get to a really positive, beneficial outcome with it.

Does your therapist only offer this form of therapy? Have you tried any other approaches in the past?

 

[Mammo]

What made you decide to follow this route?

Hi Stenni - I went to see this T for help, but not with any particular approach/methodology in mind - he had been of the view that something "cognitive" wouldn't be necessary or helpful, as I have no problem "thinking".

I just don't know what other methodologies other people's T's use in this space?

 

[Mammo]

Sounds like it's not for you? If it lacks credibility as an approach for you and if key bits about it d...

Yeah, I think you may be right re: my cynicism...it's not just that though, the concept of getting angry and imagining beating people to death isn't particularly appealing.

This T is the longest I've ever seen anyone for...so I don't really know what other options are available.

The issues in case are:
- family issues (allegedly physical and emotional abuse)
- chronic depression
- longstanding suicidality and chronic depression.
- complete isolation from people.

 

[Sandstone]

I'm interested that this is the longest you've seen a T for. Is that because you are comfortable with him, as opposed to the therapy, or more motivated or what?
I'm no expert in methodologies, partly because my options are so limited in the area I live - no point in deciding something is the way ahead if its 100 miles away

 

[barefoot]

he had been of the view that something "cognitive" wouldn't be necessary or helpful, as I have no problem "thinking".

I have no problem thinking either....I'm thinking, thinking, thinking all the time!

But that doesn't mean that my thoughts are always useful to me or that they're the only important thing. Sometimes, there are distortions. And often I'm in my head intellectualising to avoid having to connect to my feelings. So that's something my therapist works with me on - trying to connect emotionally (especially around the trauma) instead of avoiding my feelings (trough intellectualisin, denial, dissociation, whatever...) And trying to get more in relationship with myself in terms of my body and feelings.

In terms of the methodologies she uses...I don't really know! She's an integrative psychodynamic therapist. We talk :-) But a lot of our context is around building emotional connection/awareness of my feeling and body...not just what thoughts are going on in my head.

 

[halflifeguy]

Hi Mammo,

Sorry to hear the therapy isn't working out, and, I find it weird your T would think having you see another T for the same technique... it's like blaming you rather that admitting it's not a good fit or it's just not appropriate therapy for you at this time. But it does acknowledge it's not working for you.

I wouldn't call your response cynical, its appropriate to be reflective and selective in your therapies.

I haven't tried ISTPD, but from what I have read about I think it wouldn't go deep enough to resolve the root causes of my symptoms. I'm totally aware when I'm 'misfiring'... nice, but it doesn't resolve anything.

Your list of issues is very similar to mine... not that is a perfect indicator we match in therapies, but for me, hypnotherapy has helped resolve deep rooted problems. Maybe your T can, or can recommend another T.

 

[StarChild]

the concept of getting angry and imagining beating people to death isn't particularly appealing.

Dear @Mammo, I truly think you have a healthy view and very healthy concerns about this so called therapy.

it's driving to shut down anxiety which is apparently blocking people from feeling their true underlying feelings (primarily anger) - and the goal is to get you to "release" this anger through imagining/fantasising about unleashing this anger against whoever it is that has hurt/upset you.

Eh? :wideeyed: WTF... :woot: Rant ahead: Uhm, no it's usually exactly the other way around; Anger is the so called "cover up emotion", under which people bottle up their anxieties, fears, sadness, hopelessness, insecurities, rejection, grief, hurt and so on. - And the least helpful thing is, to start give room to that cover feeling (anger), and ignore the true underlying feelings. It's a well known fact, that lots of those homicidal maniacs who go and start a shooting in schools or in their former work places, did exactly what this b*ll sh*t therapy wants you to do: They (the homicidal maniacs) often fantasize over quite some time how they will take revenge on "all" that hurt or rejected them, or whatever they feel, others did to them. Oh yes, there's often just a fine line between fantasizing and becoming obsessed with something like that.

Furthermore is it also a well known fact, that to give in to anger time and time again, leads to a deep destructive hatred. Hatred of self, and hatred towards others. And give in to hatred will chain the "hater" to the one(s) they hate. Completely. A person who gives in to unhealthy anger, or later on even hatred, is never a free person, in terms of inner freedom. Again to maintain unhealthy anger (fantasies) or even hatred, will keep the one who hates, from true, freeing inner healing. And just to be clear, the opposite of maintaining unhealthy anger isn't love or misunderstood forgiveness. The opposite of it is to turn inwards, and looking or even digging for the true underlying feelings and deal properly with them.

I lively remember a therapist, who proudly told me, that one of her goals with me, will be to get me so far, that I will go to my abuser's grave and spit and even piss on it. No, I'm not kidding. She even told me that she would come with me, to take pics of that "wonderful" progress I'll make, so that I can pin them on the wall over my bed... And when I repeatedly told her, that I find her approach very strange and unhealthy, and that it wasn't my goal at all, to do such disgusting things, she got first mad, and with time even super mad at me. She even started mocking me (as a tactic of encouragement, she later told me), and called me a coward, and "someone who isn't willing do to real trauma work". Can you imagine, that that therapist was one of the few official licensed trauma therapists in my country, in those days?..

The following is my personal opinion; If I were you, I would step back from that therapy you're doing right now and look for another form of therapy. As I doubt, this will lead to healthy results of real inner healing. And if you reread your first post of this thread, you'll see, that you already gave yourself the answer to your doubts... As you wrote:

and the idea of being angry/rageful isn't appealing - not to mention the bit about imagining (literally) beating people to death...(!!).

 

[Mammo]

Dear @Mammo, I truly think you have a healthy view and very healthy concerns about...

thank you @TreeHugger - i think trying some alternative form of therapy would be an idea. It's just a shame because I have spent several months building a relationship with this guy, and he has gotten to know a great deal about me. The idea of starting all over again is a bit disheartening - though continuing with something thats not working isn't likely productive either.

Thank you again.

 

[halflifeguy]

to give in to anger time and time again, leads to a deep destructive hatred. Hatred of self, and hatred towards others. And give in to hatred will chain the "hater" to the one(s) they hate. Completely. A person who gives in to unhealthy anger, or later on even hatred, is never a free person...

Amen! +1000

I don't get the angry release idea, though I can see it's like a sort of primal therapy, but revenge is not vindication or self affirmation. Under hypnosis my T wasn't directing my interaction with my abuser, just giving me the opportunity, but my non-violent interaction was a huge step in my recovery.

 

[KitKaplan]

Im really surprised not to see emdr here as it is the most recommeended trreatmeent. In one session with a skillted therapist you can heal a specific trauma. I was healed of chronic fatigue, loss on my niece, depression and anxiety. Be sure they use a livht bar headset aand hand pods or it takes a. Lot longer. Sorry for the tremors