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Flashbacks And People Noticing I Am Having Them.

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Cerulean Synapse

Bronze Member
Ok so I go to a lot of AA meetings and the first thing they notice is that my eyes glaze over and somewhere in the middle I am truly in my past and I try to get out of it but it seems futile. They have to lightly tap me on the shoulder or say my name a lot of times before I answer. Even that is futile. They know that I have a problem. It's just some AA people don't understand about living in the past and that it is constantly even being triggered by a single smell or person. And half the time you don't know what is being triggered. I have been a lot better. I have a special friend when she sees me glazing out she lightly taps me and I am in the present again. It's embarrassing. What do you do when people notice you have them?
 
Ok so I go to a lot of AA meetings and the first thing they notice is that my eyes glaze over a...
I have done this too, at meetings. A lot of the time it's when something someone says hits home. We're all different, yet we're still the same. I wouldn't focus so much on what to say about it as trying to work at those steps. That's where the healing is. The fact that you were triggered at a meeting tells me there's quite a few people you can relate to. They share the same story. So you are not alone. Everything takes time.
 
OMG I used to trigger and dissociate all over the place. Nowhere was safe. And my eyes.... they must have looked like they were possessed or something because there were some really interesting reactions to them along the way (thinking of a situation where I was unable to have a prescription filled and the lady, when she looked at me --- well, I thought she was going to fall over).

Anyway, I worked on my dissociation. I brought sour and hot candies with me whereever I went and had myself or someone else pop them into my mouth. It worked. I can really feel myself if I start to zone out or not and bring myself back.

People, many people, don't understand. I got used to NOT trying to explain myself anymore.
 
I have often been described as "spacey" and a daydreamer. It makes it sound more sweet and fluffy than the actual experience. I try to pay attention, but most of the time, I'm still somewhere else. It's really hard to find other people who haven't experienced like symptoms who "get" it.
 
What do you do when people notice you have them?

1- Play it off.

2- Avoid people who actually know what's going on, and would guess accurately (or know) what's going on with me.

= If I have to show weakness? Let people assume it's the wrong one.

Not saying this is what I should do, merely what I actually do.
 
I can relate:

1. I Try to not be a victim to dissociation. When I notice it happening, I talk to a supporter who is with me to see what the possible triggers were. ("What happened right before?")

2. Cold works! Take the jacket off, drink cold water, ask for the A/C to be up higher during meetings/ or in winter, open a window prior to starting or go outside for frequent breaks.

3. Have a safe retreat space wherever you go. I'm surprised AA doesn't have one! Go there, and do your flashback management steps.

1. Say or think to yourself "I am having a flashback."
2. Squat down, use cold, use scents/foods, or whatever works for you. Some like to chew on ice from their soda pop drink, or what have you.
3. Don't feel trapped. You can leave. Hold your keys and phone. Let the group know before you start that you may need to leave early, so that you have an out you can take if you need it. Don't just sit there and feel powerless.
 
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