A Mix Of Thoughts And Feelings About Myself, My Psychologist And My Life

[Panda Bear]

Yes, if you spill your guts, it will get better.

I also suffered CSA....

 

[RavenGirl]

Yes, if you spill your guts, it will get better.

As scary as that sounds, it really is true. As the truth gets out, you'll feel more anxiety at first as you feel like, "OMG WHAT DID I DO, I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO EVER SAY ANYTHING, what will people think?!!" Then you'll feel this kind of PEACE enter your body, as the weight of the world is lifted from you. As you start to heal, as people start to understand just how amazingly strong you have been, as you find out there are people who do support you, you'll realize you are on the start of your path to recovery, that you are resilient, you have a lot to offer, you deserve to be heard, you are a blessing, you are MORE than good enough, you have great value, you are a good person, and you are stronger than you think! ! I truly believe these things and I believe in you. We will be here to support you as you take the steps needed on your road to healing. :happy::tup::hug:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Yes, if you spill your guts, it will get better.

I also suffered CSA....

Not just from spilling your guts, its a TON of hard work but the theripist cant help with what they dont know; but without me working very hard to unbrainwash myself it will never happen.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

We will be here to support you as you take the steps needed on your road to healing. :happy::tup::hug:

I second that!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

chances are, she already suspects them

Agree with this! My therapist knew i wasnt coming every week for a year just to complain about certian people in my life, he knew i had some sort of sexual trauma, that i had VERY huge trust issues and even had a hunch that i had been through more than most. Obviously no one is gonna guess how bad it was BUT therapists are trained to catch this stuff. My current therapist has 8 degrees and lucky for me 2 are in theology (since i grew up in a Satanic cult and all) but anyway, my point is she's probably already figuring this stuff out, the trust issues anyway and the fear of abandonment. I have that about everyone but common with Borderlines

 

[Panda Bear]

Spilling your guts is the first and most crucial step, all the other stuff comes as a byproduct of starting the conversation and facing the feelings.

My therapist knew as well, it made him bonkers that I tiped toed around it. Once it was out? The work can be done. No, It doesn't ALWASY bring instant relief from the shame and pain, but it helps us to cope in the end. What it does bring is a chance to see that things can be different and we didn't melt by sharing our secrets.

My best therapy days are the ones where I spill my guts.

Then you'll feel this kind of PEACE enter your body, as the weight of the world is lifted from you.

Keep spilling, it'll pay off.

 

[RavenGirl]

the trust issues anyway and the fear of abandonment.

I bet 99-100 % have those! :wideeyed: After all let's think why we are all here in the first place. .. ;)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I bet 99-100 % have those! :wideeyed: After all let's think why we are all here in the first place. .....

Indeed! But not all those in therapy have PTSD or trust issues ;) i was talking about the therapist. But im sure most have that issue anyway; and her therapist knew about sexual abuse which trust issues and sexual abuse/assult go hand and hand.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

My therapist knew as well, it made him bonkers that I tiped toed around it.

Mine didnt go bonkers but wondered how i didnt think that he knew. Though i will say when it all started to come out slowly over 2 yrs, he was shocked at how bad it was. Not liked shocked in an "i cant believe you did that"; just how normal people would be when they hear a story like the Cleveland House for example but more in a therapist sort of way. I hate to compare my past with that house as they went through more than me for 10 yrs; but its the closest in the US public that i most identify with. I still self do rituals that would shock normal people but when i told him the mosr shocking/shameful one, he wasnt shocked at all and understood why i had thoughrs of coming on to my pastor cousin by marriage. I dont want to come across that he's ever been shocked by anything ive told him.

My best therapy days are the ones where I spill my guts.

Isnt that the truth! I leave feeling like a lump of coal but the days after are better more eventful step taking days!