Any Complex Ptsd Advise Out There

[Deleted member 32520]

Hey I have a great frieND who has c. Ptsd and always trigger her and make things worst... what are some advises.. she cut me off her life but can't handle it since once I grew up its late n she know if she forgave me for 1000000 I will screw again:(
Plz not used to ptsd

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Triggers are sometimes hard for the sufferer to identify, or for me it is. Do you know what triggered her?

Remember that the sufferer owns our own triggers so thats not your fault! You arent "screwing up" :hug:

Forgot to welcome you to the forum!

 

[Renestel]

I would try to educate yourself as much as you can on PTSD. It is different for all, but I told my husband to read a "PTSD supporter" book and it helped at least 60%. It's a different world for those that don't have the experiences. Give your friend as much space as they need, but the biggest thing for me was you need to tell your friend what they need in the moment when they feel triggered. Let them tell you what happened, what is wrong, they may not want to, but it is a 50 50 street. Just as much as that person does not want to be triggered, that person can not expect you to read their mind. So they have to tell you what went wrong so that it doesn't happen again. Above all, just be very loving, calm and give hugs when they need them.

 

[Deleted member 32520]

Yes I know what triggers her and unfortunately I keep doing them non intentionally :(
Sometimes I forget she has c ptsd...
A) not being mature
B) when she asks to help her I make things worst
C) never listen to her when she tell me what wrong
D) has alot of problems to face and it is driving her crazy n suck I can't do anything since not as strong or mature as her for it

 

[Deleted member 32520]

I would try to educate yourself as much as you can on PTSD. It is different for all, but I told my husb...

I know problem is each time she said it I forget since had own issues to deal with n forgrt about what she said to me or answer quick

 

[Deleted member 32520]

Yes I know what triggers her and unfortunately I keep doing them non intentionally :(
Sometimes...

And best option is give her space and let her contact me or I do it :(

 

[Renestel]

well step one is acknowledging, and that you have already done on your own. Yay! good for you. Step two-you just have to be more conscious. I know it's hard, especially when you hang out with others then go hang out and you have to be careful with words or topics, but hey- if this is a friendship you treasure-do it to the fullest. This person needs you. Possibly desperately. So just keep working, don't get down on yourself, just see it as a means of getting her into a much healthier place! It's a little tough to understand you due to our language barrier, but in your last question I would give her space but if its three weeks or something, just leave a message, and be like, hey, I'm here for you, I support you and love you. You don't have to respond, I just want to know you are here and okay. Sometimes that means a LOT.

 

[Deleted member 32520]

well step one is acknowledging, and that you have already done on your own. Yay! good for you. Step two...

Well ya now she Is in better place alone no roommate and own place so that's a good step... and ya thought of sayinh that but broke that trust way too much and she had enough I guess that's problem woke up way too late :(

Anyways thank alot u guys rock hope all the best my friends hugs to all if accepted :)

 

[EveHarrington]

"any word I say must be 100% accurate"

I understand that you want to help your friend but if she's requiring this of you, you're never going to win. The truth is that unless we are speaking about dictionary type facts, human perception shades what we say (and how we say it). In this sense there are an infinite amount of truths out there. I get the feeling that you're being blamed for simply being human and perhaps you are trying to jump through hoops for this girl because she's so special to you. There's nothing wrong with wanting to help someone, but it's important that you realize her issues are her own and you're not to blame if she gets upset because according to her you used the wrong word.

 

[Deleted member 32520]

Triggers are sometimes hard for the sufferer to identify, or for me it is. Do you know what t...

To be honest I do use words wrongly sometimes n she knows me way to well since we used to talk for hours till 4 am but guess should be more careful with what I say... thank though