Supporter My Boyfriend Suffers From Ptsd

[knj2015]

Hello. I'm new and would like some advice. My boyfriend of a year and a half has PTSD. He often times wants space to deal with things. I've tried getting him to lean on me and include me but he says he can only do it by himself. That the only way he's ever gotten better was focusing with no distractions. He's having a really bad episode now and is depressed on top of it. He's feeling overwhelmed and says he's being pulled in all directions...his family, ex-wife and even me. Sad thing is, he can't cut them out so I'm the only one he's getting space from. This concept of needing space is foreign to me. I just can't get it. He's explained some and it helped. But then he closes up and withdraws. I don't have a choice with the space. I need to find a way to be supportive and not make his anxiety worse. I know that means no contact until he gets better but it's tearing me up inside.

 

[Silent one]

Hello. I'm new and would like some advice. My boyfriend of a year and a half has PTSD. He often times...

Hi, I am new here too. I suffer from complex PTSD. Sometimes the need to withdrawal from the world is so strong that I isolate like your boyfriend. The only explanation I can give you is that sometimes it just feels better to be alone than have to engage in conversation. My thoughts of trauma go around and around in my head and it is easier for me to just be alone. You're boyfriend is very lucky to have you.

 

[mary1979]

I'm a sufferer and tend to isolate, sometimes because I need to switch off and others because I have to be in my own head to work through the issue.

That said, I react completely irrationally when my husband withdraws.
As you said, I cant get the concept that he doesn't need me to support him and take it as a personal rejection.

Hypocrite much? Thats me.

I wonder would he accept a text or email each night that doesn't require a reply, just to fulfil your need to support, without stepping into his space?

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome to the forum! :)

 

[MariusNiemiec]

Hello. I'm new and would like some advice. My boyfriend of a year and a half has PTSD. He often times...

Is this real?

 

[Sweetpea76]

@MariusNiemiec why wouldn't it be real?

 

[knj2015]

Hi, I am new here too. I suffer from complex PTSD. Sometimes the need to withdrawal from the world is...

Thank-you. I think I stress him out sometimes because I don't get it. We don't live together so space means not seeing him or talking to him at all.

 

[Sweetpea76]

It's hard for supporters to make peace with the fact that we cannot help our loved ones... Isolation is hard. I just consider giving my vet the space he needs a loving act. It's one thing I can do for him.

 

[knj2015]

I'm a sufferer and tend to isolate, sometimes because I need to switch off and others because I have to...

That's a good suggestion. I too get irrational. Which doesn't help him. I love him so much and just want to help. I'll ask him about the message to help me. Honestly it seems selfish that I have to be in limbo. Ideally it would be nice to find a happy medium of communication. I don't want to push him, however by messaging. We'll see.

 

[knj2015]

It's hard for supporters to make peace with the fact that we cannot help our loved ones... Isolation...

I know it's selfish of me to cling on tighter when he gets like this because I don't understand. He's a great man and you are right....it's what I can lovingly do to help him. I don't have any military relationship experience until now.

 

[MariusNiemiec]

I know it's selfish of me to cling on tighter when he gets like this because I don't understand. He's a...

Isolation sounds f*cked... I might need ghandi

 

[Sweetpea76]

It's a coping mechanism for a lot of sufferers. It's like a hard reset when they're totally overwhelmed. It's rough, but there are worse coping mechanisms.