2 Years Of Hell

[rocketgirl]

Hi, I'm obviously new and not one to usually join a forum or talk about my problems.

A little background, I'm 22 and a psych major in university.

In the last 2 years my mom got diagnosed with a brain tumor, had brain surgery. I dropped out of my university to be her full time caretaker.

Months after that I survived a brutal assault and rape, but with everything else going on at home I decided to keep it to myself. After about 6 months I couldn't take it anymore and decided to talk to my dad as I had to tell someone, which was a few short weeks after he was diagnosed with lung cancer due to his 30 years as a firefighter.

As far as immediate crisis, things have slowed down (thankfully) but I am left with brutal nightmares, panic attacks and an overwhelming sense of powerlessness.

My family Dr and councilor have both diagnosed me with ptsd at various times but I have ignored that, and haven't wanted to look at what that means. I guess I'm coming to terms that there is something going on that is affecting every area of my life.

Its been over a year since my attack, and I have recently begun dating someone. I find that I panic often and have a very difficult time allowing them too close to me, and the flashbacks are overwhelming at times.

I guess I'm just looking for support in any way, or if anyone else has recovered from ptsd over time?

Thanks so much

 

[amethist]

Hi rocketgirl

Welcome to the forum.

You have found a great place for help, advice and support.

There are many members on here who will understand all you are going through, and they will tell you how they recovered and now manage their ptsd.

Take your time to read all the information available, it will help you get started on your journey.

Take care and good luck.

Amethist

 

[ZeroPTSD]

Welcome Rocket Girl,

I am so sorry that happened to you and it just sux about both your parents having the big-C that is hard enough to deal with as it is, but adding a brutal rape to the mix is just really tough. Obviously you are tougher and I am proud of you for taking care of your family + speaking out about what happened.

You may feel like two years is a long time, but my personal opinion is that it is good thing you are figuring all of this out now and decided to speak out now...I wasn't so lucky. It took 10 years of my life being rollercoaster rage, depression, horrible nightmares, losing friends, losing family...before I ever discovered what PTSD even was. It cost me every intimate relationship I had, including a finance. The 6 years since has been a winding road of recovery...

I know you feel powerless sometimes (I know exactly what that feels like), but the very fact that you know is empowering, knowledge and awareness are power...power for you to make choices, find the path toward healing and living well.

Glad you are here and have started sharing your experience...welcome.

One,

ZeroPTSD

 

[BethRSA]

Hi RocketGirl! Welcome to the forum!:hello:

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through such difficult things--caring for your mom, finding out your dad has cancer, and the brutal rape in the midst of it all.

I'm glad that you're seeking help now. I only started getting counselling 2 years after my gang rape, and maybe I had PTSD before that. It can get better--if you work at it. There's no "quick fix", but there are many tools to help you cope better and better. One main way to get the pain out is to talk--so feel free to write it out when you're ready.

We're here for you! :Hug_emoticon: Beth

 

[goingonhope]

Hi and Welcome to the forum rocketgirl!

In the process of managing your Ptsd better and better, you'll likely find you end up doing things you're not usually use to doing. Hope you keep experimenting with what works for you and what doesn't and take it forward from here.

Wishing you my best on your journey forward, despite life being as challenging and painful as it sometimes can be. God Bless, and do whatever it is you shall to take the best possible self-care. A minimized stress-load works best, so don't stop living of course but it's always a good idea to identify and eliminate unnessary stressors and list and put into practice all the possible stress reduction techniques known to mankind and above, because too great of unchecked, disorganized stress is what yanks and pulls the Ptsd sufferer away from stable management of Ptsd.

Hang in and hold on, and continue, continue, continue.

Again Welcome RocketGirl!

 

[helena]

Hi Rocketgirl,

You have been through so much and my heart goes out to you.

I am new to forums too (I am a carer, not a sufferer by the way but we all mix in together on this site) I also did psychology as one of my degree subjects but it was a long time ago and a lot of advances since then.

I have actually learnt more about psychology on this site - and from Anthony's resources on the site - than I ever learnt in university!

A lot of phenomenal people on this site so I am sure you will get the support and help you need

Helena

 

[Midnight]

Hey Rocket Girl!
You are one tough cookie! I can't imagine what it must feel like to have both parents ill, combined with such a horrific experience. It is, as others have said, awesome that you are seeking help and sharing your story. I hope that you find what you need here!!

 

[Deleted member 541]

You are so young, and yet have been through so much in your short life. Yes, I can understand just how overwhelmed you must be...

No one fully recovers from PTSD, as it is not curable, but with a lot of work, facing your trauma, learning coping skills, doing therapy, possibly meds, and working hard at all of these, you can get a whole lot better, and even enjoy life again. It will never be the same, but it will be a lot better than where you are right now.....

Yes, there is hope, and this place is a great place to start.....

 

[suzie q]

So glad to have you here on the forum. It took a lot of courage and strength to share what you have been through. Please don't let all the details overwhelm you to the point of isolation. Many of us know what you are going through with the PTSD and can give you tools to cope. Talking about your trauma really does help process it and lessen the extreme reactions over time.

We are here to share our experience, strength and hope. I hope you will continue to reach out and take things in baby steps. Take things day to day to lessen the anxiety.

Love and prayers :Hug_emoticon:

 

[rocketgirl]

Wow! Thank you all so much. I was really blown away coming on here and reading all of your comments back.
I thought what goingonhope said about disorganized stress was really interesting - I often find that the hardest thing is I cannot organize my life. Everything feels very overwhelming, even the smallest task or schedule has becoming very difficult to handle.
I have a pretty high stress job currently, and while its a good job functioning at full capacity is really hard. I find that the world carries on without you and trying to keep can seem likea never ending race.
I'm interesting in learning good ways to reduce stress and anxiety.