5 Things I'm Thinking Today

[8888]

1. The house manager here has lost it!
2. I can't tell if my med change is helping or not, I guess it's too soon to tell.
3. I'm so thankful for my mom.
4. I miss my dog.
5. I don't know where the mayonnaise went, can't find it anywhere!

 

[Teasel]

I like vegetable soup
I like the new food processor
I like the orange & bergamot body lotion
I like my towelling bathrobe
I like Jane Davies YouTube channel

 

[Dynamic]

1. I've got to get up and busy
2. I've got to find new good friends nearby
3. I don't feel love right now
4. I feel over my feelings/self
5. I need to care for myself

 

[Dynamic]

1. T said I would feel emotionally charged over the weekend
2. I thought it would mean heavy feelings
3. I feel so light I can float
4. I want to do something crazy fun!?
5. Pontoon boat in Murrells Inlet SC

 

[Tinyflame]

1. Got something done that almost blew up at the last minute, but didn't. Very thankful. Though I don't know if they will like it. I hate to have to sneak around for normal things.
2. Was really busy week. Made a paperwork error at work, almost at the end of shift, nonetheless there is a 3-and-fired rule. Self-disclosed. Too tired and stressed
3. Happy 2 people I know reconciled. Well, sort of. Don't know how long it will last. Hope so also selfishly as will buy me 10 days on my own soon, which I need.
4. Not sure how to forgive one of the people above. Feel like it's the INFJ door slam: I can be told I'm worth nothing or the problem, I can take criticism or agree to disagree, and either accept it +/or forgive it/ them. But being played or manipulated- nope. But then I thought there's a few people I don't forgive, and mostly it has to do with mistrust now, plus a healthy dose of fear. Which therefore I can actually forgive them, for some reason, when I realize I don't. Maybe fear with this one too?
5. Was thinking with this bad past 10 days, there is no alternative than SI. Yet also thought wouldn't probably change a thing if I didn't exist, though they at best are of the mindset 'probably not' (their words). . Funny, heard a suggestion today I've done for years. But my pblm remains finding a reason to be 'here' vs the next round. Nice though. But that's the only refuge I've had to turn to, most of the time/ with rare exception.
(6.). Very busy yesterday and lazy today. and will be busy tomorrow. I am exhausted. Trying to figure out how to get out of neighbour's party invite tonight, he expects me after 10:30, said that wasn't too late when I tried to use that excuse. Came to door this morning, confirmed again in afternoon. Don't know if I should just go. Not like it's hard to get home, he is next door. And I have to kind of work with him a bit in the future... which isn't a good reason to go, but it's probably a wiser one if I can't avoid that.

 

[mamachick]

1. Too much physical pain today
2. Didn't follow thru with what I needed to do.
3.Gave my dog a soccer ball I bought for my grandson, will replace before they visit.
4.Feeling sorry for my husband for my lack of ability to be a companion right now.
5.Really need to get some sun. Never this pale in my entire life. Seems to have an aversion this year.

 

[mamachick]

6. Rosebud, there is an alternative to suicide. Sometimes staying here feels like just going thru the motions. Not that I have the answers-I do not. But I really hope you find a reason to stay. I know I have a right to take up space here until its my time, and to make myself as comfortable as I can. Too bad if others dont like it.

 

[Tinyflame]

I know I have a right to take up space here until its my time, and to make myself as comfortable as I can. Too bad if others dont like it.

1. Thank you @brat17 . This ^^ made me laugh. That's right. I think it's crazy to do that to someone, and not going to help if I add my own flavour of crazy, in response or otherwise. It's a mind-mess, at least for now. I thought of that saying from a person, "I always lie". (Therefore- is that too a lie? ). It's best if I can stay out of it, carry on. I once asked my mom, "What's the point of being a voice of reason (in crazy circumstances)?", she said "Someone has to be!" I am grateful for those people who are, you included. Thank you.

2. The other day I even said, "this is way too negative even for me." (Which says a lot.) And thought that I would give the benefit of the doubt but I want to be left out of it.

3. At one awful point a few days ago and my own thoughts bopping around in bed, I just said a simple prayer and shockingly to me they just dissolved like nothing. First time in my life that happened.

4. Read your post @brat and decided by 9:30. forget the party- Do I want to go 8+ hrs after everyone (mostly likely unknown to me) started drinking and I'm exhausted? No. Though there was a beautiful red corvette outside with white convertible top... thought good time to steal it.. (Just kidding).

5. Happy Sunday to all.

 

[RVA21]

1. I realized something important tonight
2. I can just move on now
3. I'm not even bothered about the letter anymore
4. I need a good new therapist
5. Nobody's perfect

 

[Tinyflame]

The feeling when not being able to escape criticism, sarcasm and contempt levied at all times when home, except for when it's neutrality. Where to go from there, or how to bear it.

 

[mamachick]

1. @Rosebud, glad to offer a chuckle. I really mean it though. I have spent most of my life serving others and making them priorities and was happy to do so. Im tired now, not planning on dying anytime soon, but at 63, the life thats left is going to be on my terms. I planting my butt here and not moving when I dont want to. The clean house and home made food no longer feeds my soul. Neither does paining and endless home repairs. So puff, I have my own permission to be lazy.
2. I evidently chose some of the most annoying people to be around...or we are magnets. There has to be a lessen in this. Had a conversation with someone who told me 20 times "you cant win for loosing". Even after I reminded her of all the good things going on in her life. While I limit contact, there has to be a lesson about myself here.
3. A Netflix show called Anatomy of a Scandal hit a nerve with me tonight. Very validating. Things I could never articulate. Grateful. One step closer to not caring what others think.
4.Dogs really are my best friends. They really love unconditionally.
5.Not going to feel guilty that I have to buy new clothes because I gained 20 lbs after quitting smoking 2 years ago.

 

[wisteria]

1. Should I go paddleboarding today? Will the weather cooperate?
2. Hope my first day volunteering solo goes well, and that I return happy.
3. Anxious about starting Lexapro.
4. Is keeping contact with my friend in prison really the best idea? Or am I being oblivious once again.
5. I love my pups.