1. Am thankful despite how I felt, I was able to make many people laugh. I think I officially know a liittle bit how some comedians may feel. I think it's the only way for me.
2. Words are painful, even from respected people when I can't agree because of my experiences.
3. I think a lot of people hide a lot of things. I think I minimized all my life. But even when I did speak up, and then it became most obvious, I was asked why didn't I say it? But I did, they didn't listen.
4. I heard today not being grounded ends in ego, jealousy and envy. But I think an absence of those, or things like anger, etc, is abnormal. It comes from minimizing, and just surviving. There can't be wants if needs hang in the balance. There is no additional insecurity because there's never security, or security itself is suspect. The dangers come from what others don't see, or it's hard to avoid seeing but they lie until it's too obvious.
5. I won't write more whining (whine-and-cheese). I was taught fix it, preferably by yourself, or STFU. I think it's hard for others to understand, or envision, even if they wanted to. They don't understand not speaking of the unspeakable, or minmizing what is maximum, or needing to survive, or choose to stop trying. They mistake being ready to drop as confidence, though yes, it's not caring. They don't understand fear in the same way, and they've not understood dropping one's guard is not a small feat. It's lonelier or isolating to not be understood. It's a relief to not have to try to be. It's a relief to separate, to leave, to cut ties. It is best for all.
(6.) All I did manage to do was eat a LOT of birthday cake, and give a homeless person a pie. Who would rather have had ciggies, I am sure, but I vape.
