5 Things I'm Thinking Today

[Silver.]

It is not my bloody job to update the court on the ex's whereabouts
family courts need to burn to the ground
so much anger today
trying to stay sane
insert a string of cuss words here

 

[Ironlady]

Can't get the nightmare out of my head. Woke up last night crying after having it. Worn out.

Took a nap and having more nightmares. Emotions are on edge. Just Breathe.

Job searching... under qualified for most. Maybe I'll just clean houses.

Why can I stick up for my children but not myself?

Self care.. self care.. self care...

 

[Ironlady]

It is not my bloody job to update the court on the ex's whereabouts
family courts need to burn to the g...

((((Hugs silver)))))

 

[Ronin]

Why can I stick up for my children but not myself?

Ok, thinking of this as another thing to try then:

You can stick up for children; would you get anywhere if you turned self care into 'sticking up for inner children'?

Just thinking aloud. Mostly because people have done similar switch with myself and getting me to self care; rephrasing different aspects of me as my village/community & as mytroops, too! - to help out, which about conveyed the message to, well, at least someone in here to do the job no matter what. <super sheepish look & not sure if any of this translates>

 

[ladee]

I am back online.
I have missed everyone so much my heart hurt.
Cant wait to meet newcomers and get caught up with friends.
It has been hell without ya'll.
So excited to be HOME...

 

[Ironlady]

Ok, thinking of this as another thing to try then:

You can stick up for children; would you get anywhere...

You make sense my friend.. I'm pretty sure I understand.. thank you.. It's because when I stick up for them I am willing to suffer to make sure they are ok.. when I speak up for them the focus is taken off of them generally and is directed onto me.. this is my fear.. If I stick up for my inner children that he will redirect his anger to my babies somehow. That by protecting myself they become targets.. he doesn't get physical but his words are very hurtful.

 

[Ronin]

I'm so sorry you're (for now) stuck with an abusive prick @Ironlady.

Is there a way to get space from him? Is there a way to get him out and on a time out before he decides to behave again?

 

[Ironlady]

I'm so sorry you're (for now) stuck with an abusive prick @Ironlady.

Is there a way to...

He's working right now.. thank goodness. With the holiday he was up here four four days in a row and I had no break.. I think that's why I feel so overwhelmed with emotion and tired today.. all this walking on eggshells constantly this weekend has worn me out. I took a nap today.. been trying to do relaxing things even though my mind is spinning hard. Trying to research and make some kind of plan. Going to try to get out at least one night this week and be around some other people. I don't have good friends but I have to do something to try to build some kind of outer circle. I've been so isolated that I have no support system here currently. So I'm trying..... it's going to take time but at least it's a start.. not doing anything is only going to make this situation worse. Hugs and thank you Ronin. <3

 

[DharmaGirl]

humming the Andy Griffith theme song
I slipped on my artistic deck and sprained my knee badly. Have to rethink the deck
I'm really tired from my injury, I guess.
I hope everyone is feeling some love.
Sadly, my coffee cup is empty, and I have to get up on my sprained knee to get more. I should set up a coffee station next to my computer.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Heard from my daughter and Ez today.
Canceled my health insurance because I cannot afford to pay for it anymore.
Picked up my stockpile of meds at the pharmacy.
Now home relaxing
It is so cold outside right now.

 

[Naoru]

Thank you @corvidae :) You guys are awesome.
The support here is invaluable. :notworthy:
T's back.
Told her I quit ... so she scheduled me for next week. :rolleyes:
Back to my blanket fort

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I am so tired of thinking about this.
I cooked my lunch for a first time in weeks rather than buying.
I hope I do something useful today.
I'm so sad, all the time.
I wonder if my friends will think I'm a bad person if they new that my "first" was my grandfather, not that it was a choice.