5 Things I'm Thinking Today

[intothelight]

1. If you don't like it change it for yourself and stop the spiral.
2. Live it your way its not going to matter anyway.
3. Its OK to just be quiet and to hang back as you don't always need to take point.
4. Remember what it "seems like" right now can change at any time.
5. Your not responsible unless you choose to shoulder the responsibility. Leave it.

 

[mumstheword]

Yay I finally got my place clean and beautiful! :-)

Unwell again though, can't wait to be up and about.

It's very peaceful here today, I'm really enjoying that

Can't wait to feel better to enjoy this beautiful winter weather, we have here (sunny and warm, in the day).

I haven't gotten used to the upgraded site layout yet, I think I'll chalk it down to "changes aren't smooth and easy for me", but I'm still grateful for the site, thanks Anthony!

 

[MrMoonlight]

-I need to completely recharge and relax in preparation for next week
-I have several NFL preseason games to watch today, woohoo!
-would like to update my trauma diary
-lay in sun and get some color on this white skin
-recognize the small sucesses

 

[intothelight]

1. I am definitely mechanically challenged, but the pictures will help.
2. Why is it when I finally figure out all the features on my phone its time to replace it?
3. I am realizing I don't quite "fit in" so I am blazing my own path and I'll see who I will meet along the way.
4. Need to set a goal to do the worst thing first and keep it at one a day.
5. Making major changes one piece at a time, but it is still daunting.

 

[MrMoonlight]

-need to find my own people
-sister hasn't returned my texts
-feeling isolated & broken
-fighting depression right now, feel like f*cking off
-I'm fighting for me

 

[Ronin]

feel like f*cking off

To some nice looking island (Bora Bora? Tahiti? Somewhere else? Except for Hawaii, if it is US I do not want to see it).... otherwise, nope, friend.

Cocktails and vacations and ignoring all the bad weather kind of f*cking off, yes. None other.

 

[MrMoonlight]

I hear you @Ronin ...Tahiti in a floating bungalow sounds nice. This work is so hard...

 

[Muttly]

1) I wish chat was working tonight. feeling the need to be ... with others but not having focus to read threads
2) I hope the smoke doesn't get worse.
3) I sort of want to post to a thread on more trauma related stuff but then I just don't seem to have it in me
4) I am very sleep deprived.
5) My butt is bruised. heh.... ok, the story...

so, my special needs dog sometimes gets up too fast from sleep and falls down. this is distressing and if she does it, she can freak out trying to get up again and fall and get herself all in a snit. Normally, she does sort herself out but it's upsetting to her. so that started last night sometime between 2 and 3 am. I didn't want to get up to deal with her (sleep deprived) and was hoping she'd sort herself out. instead it seemed she was winding herself up and was really getting distressed. I have to admit, I was annoyed, mixed with worried. I apparently also had an issue with getting up too fast. All my life I've had low pressure and have had issues with being light headed. I've full on fainted a few times and partially fainted many. So I get almost to the bedroom door and am graying out. I reach for the wall, door handle to hold onto until my head clears. Apparently that wasn't enough to keep me on my feet. I didn't quite full on faint but ended up going down hard on my ass. Or maybe I did faint all the way, not quite sure. But first I sat down very hard on the pups waterbowl. As the special pup has problems, this is a very sturdy waterbowl that she can't tip over. I mostly sat in the water bowl but my ass cheek caught the rim. The waterbowl did it's job and did not tip. So... I come to full awareness. I'm on the floor. I think "whoops". Then I think, "why is my butt wet" and then "ouch". It was almost all worth it for the look on my other dog's face. I wouldn't have thought it was possible to mix such complete bewilderment with concern. Like, "umm.... are you ok? Why did you try to sit in the water bowl?" heh. By the time I had myself sorted, special pup was fine. I am choosing to see the humor in the situation. I mean, I freaking sat in the dog dish. Much to the dismay of hyper dog.

 

[intothelight]

1. Trying to think of ways to stay on top of things without being overwhelmed. There isn't a stopping point for any of it, but there has to be a way to stay on top of it better without just feeling so damn bad and like a failure on a daily basis.
2. Hoping some of the pressure will be off after we are fully staffed.
3. I am tired of always reminding myself to make myself a priority as failing to do so feeds into the feelings of failure.
4. Shift the thought process and focus on what is good, what is going right, and get out of the slump.
5. I guess I'm just sick and tired of battling with my mind and my body and would just like to be with some stability and consistency.

 

[Abstract]

1. renewed determination to try change negative patterns and come out of the hibernation hole I have been in for years.
2. painful balancing of needing to rest and trying to save myself from more stress by doing stuff now. Am in burnout and have survival stuff demanded of me. Functionality versus survival. Not life and death but it feels like it in certain ways.
3. sad angry confused about a surgery decision a family member has made and am forcing myself to be quiet and mind my own space.
4. relieved all the pain I am in is a little less today.
5. wish wish wish my brain was working more like it used to. Its concerning how dull and tired it is. Maybe I should do something about it. Not sure.

 

[MrMoonlight]

-I get to watch NFL preseason today
-thinking I need to remove photos
-wish I didn't wake at a three so often
-I will write in my journal today, not sure which
-I will notice all the little (w)ins in my day
-my maximum effort is enough. Even if my max is only showering for the day.

 

[Emotional girl]

I wish this sinusitis and acid reflux would go away.
Oh no I have got to socialise tomorrow.
How am I going to get up at 5.30 tomorrow
I really finding this whole cutting down my sessions and having a positive ending hard
I have opened up a whole new Pandora's box and I have got nobody to speak to about it