Sufferer 9-11

[Wolf127]

Hello I am a tower 2 World Trade Center survivor and have had quite the bout with ptsd. It is something I could never imagine. I was 23 at the time and it still is the same as it was. I have done therapy emdr etc. many medications . Got hooked on Xanax for 20 plus years was drinking all the time until three years ago. I still can’t sleep and I feel more and more my thoughts run away I can’t remember certain things that I do usually bad decisions and I don’t really want to interact with anyone. It’s been hard to work everyday and am really just looking for answers

 

[Wolf127]

Hello I am a tower 2 World Trade Center survivor and have had quite the bout with ptsd. It is something I could never imagine. I was 23 at the time and it still is the same as it was. I have done therapy emdr etc. many medications . Got hooked on Xanax for 20 plus years was drinking all the time until three years ago. I still can’t sleep and I feel more and more my thoughts run away I can’t remember certain things that I do usually bad decisions and I don’t really want to interact with anyone. It’s been hard to work everyday and am really just looking for answers

I’ve been diagnosed with ptsd c ptsd and the most frustrating part is the closest ppl to me don’t understand it. Thanks again

 

[gorgonzola]

Welcome @Wolf127.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum. Sorry you have reason to be here, but folks here will understand you even if the rest of the world doesn’t:)

 

[whiteraven]

Welcome!

 

[PlainJane]

Welcome @Wolf127

 

[Peaceful Warrior]

Hello I am a tower 2 World Trade Center survivor and have had quite the bout with ptsd. It is something I could never imagine. I was 23 at the time and it still is the same as it was. I have done therapy emdr etc. many medications . Got hooked on Xanax for 20 plus years was drinking all the time until three years ago. I still can’t sleep and I feel more and more my thoughts run away I can’t remember certain things that I do usually bad decisions and I don’t really want to interact with anyone. It’s been hard to work everyday and am really just looking for answers

It's really important to get establish with a therapist and psychiatrist who both specialize in ptsd. I understand completely about preferring to be isolated. Unfortunately that's pretty normal with pts. A.R.T therapy has good results. It's like EMDR, but focuses on a different method to replace good memories instead of the traumatic ones. The most important thing I would suggest to anyone who is battling pts is be kind to yourself and keep trying different therapies (Cognitive behavioral therapy is another tool) get paired with the right therapist and Dr and take it one day at a time.

 

[Survivor3]

Hi @Wolf127 , welcome to the site . I have a history of complex trauma, depression and anxiety. After being at the lowest I could get, I'm now living a healthy and productive life for the majority of the time. Always available for a chat.

 

[Muttly]

Hello. I am sorry for the experiences that brought you here. I'm also sorry that those that are closest to you don't understand. That is hard. This is a good place. I hope you find it welcoming and continue to post.

 

[captain jigglypuff]

I can only imagine how horrible it must have been to be there that particular day. I remember that I was a sophomore in high school and somehow I made it until almost the end of the day without knowing anything had happened that day. I found out during my next to last class for the day and the radio was on and I didn’t know why it was on the news and innocently asked if we could change the station to something else and everyone who knew all gave me this dirty look as if I had done something wrong. I remember wanting to keep watching the news to learn more about what had happened for about a week just in case a teacher wanted us to talk about it and my stepmom yelled at me because she didn’t want me to watch more than one lousy hour of tv within a 24 hour period and I tried telling her that I was just watching the news and it really wasn’t for entertainment purposes but rather informational in case I needed to talk about in class.

 

[Friday]

Aloha! Welcome to the community!

Got hooked on Xanax for 20 plus years was drinking all the time until three years ago.

So it sounds like you’re over the loooooooongest. kick. on. the. planet. (f*cking benzos & their 2 year kick! Most drugs? 3 days. Benzos? 2 freaking years. FFS.)… and are now dealing with both straight up PTSD symptoms. On the upside? How brutal it is now, makes the benzos make sense, yeah??? IE You weren’t an eedjit. You were coping. Until the effects of your coping mechanism became worse / more dangerous than what you were attempting to cope with? (That’s usually how it works. Whether it’s chemical, behavioral, whatever. At. Some. Point. Our coping mechanisms often start hurting more than they help, or? Stop working, altogether. The whole “it works until it doesn’t” (brick head bang wall & f*ck you)

The thing with PTSD is that it doesn’t matter how much TIME passes, because -for whatever reason- instead of traumatic events turning into memory of a bad time, it stays present, as if it’s happing now, yesterday, last week. Deep in it. We’re AS f*ckED UP 20 years later, as anyone is on day 1.

Reliving, not remembering, is a sonnuvabitch.

It’s been hard to work everyday and am really just looking for answers

Less answer, more badass TRICK??? This >>> The ptsd cup explanation

Wicked useful from day one, onward.

Again, welcome.