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I know this is going to be awful, it's the reason I never "finished" before. I think it may be the magni...

I totally understand the sudden need to just go into this (trying to heal and face the trauma/s through therapy or whatever means we have) with all of our strength and fight this time, fight for the freedom we deserve. At the same time it scares the ever living out of me and there is so much to face it's daunting. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through it but I have to.
 
For me personally, I think that I have a normal human reaction to the traumas that happened to the members here. I have never been triggered by the content of the forum, mainly because not many here had a trauma like mine, or at least I haven't seen that.

When I first came here, it was a confusing time for me and I just started real therapy and I was distrustful of the therapy system. I really found this place through Google searching for my symptoms and after reading a little bit I just joined as I figured it's no skin off my back and it may help me to understand myself. It really did and more.
 
Hi,
This is overwhelming and I am not certain but, I feel like I should step away and look more careful...
Yes, it continues to happen too but I find after nine months of being here I am getting better coping if things I read trigger me because the friends I have made here know exactly what to say to help.

I first joined to ask how to stop my abuser contacting me, the advice from the members who answered was exactly what I needed

It is empowering ultimately in my opinion.
 
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First, no. I was looking for combat support forum for non-Americans because someone directed me, then noticed the site here through some threading, didn't have the time nor patience to read through well enough to consider if it's useful or another site for people who mostly vent off.

When I came another round, it was after a bad spell of abuse and I wasn't interested in others' stories as much as what I can use to get stable & fast so I don't run off to the abusers again.

Months after, yep, I got triggered, but that was a good thing, it meant I sat the f*ck down and paid attention to what people are saying, finally.
 
So much of it, forever, afraid that if I start talking I will be drowned in the flood of memories and flashbacks.

You probably will, but that doesn't mean you'll drown to death & that we'll let you drown, if that helps any?

You came through it already, you keep coming through it every time you flashback, this time it's a chance to get different outcomes out of that cycle, change it if not break it, instead of it breaking you.
 
Nope, I was looking for answers to what I was experiencing and another forum member from another recovery site and here made me inclined to get an assessment...yup I have PTSD. Frankly I was desperate to understand what the heck was going on and why my reactivity, emotional stuff, and disassociation was happening where it didn't with other people in my day to day life. WHY was I different?

I got diagnosed and treated after I came here... underneath a whole host of physical and other difficulties.

added in edit... I stick here because this is where I began to believe and realize some hope, things to try, and endeavor to heal. It's not all warm and fuzzy here... but I cringe and gut clench at warm and fuzzy. This place has changed my life in good ways. Hope you hang in but understand when you said you need to go slow. Honey, we most ALL do. Be safe and blessings.
 
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