A things happened - bad experience with Lyft driver. Do I make these things happen to me?

[Justmehere]

Am I making all these things happen to me?

Stressed out cabbies and ride share drivers who don’t have any customer service skills are too common. So common that Uber and Lyft have rating systems of the drivers to try to motivate drivers to not to be jerks. They wouldn’t need that if they were all kind and great at what they do. You ran into one of the jerks. It can be super jarring. I have had a few really bad experiences as well. It sucks. I carry mace for cause.

Even if it was very uncommon, thinking you “make” others do things that are bad is frankly giving yourself a magical power you don’t have. You have control over you, but not others. This didn’t happen because you control him to be a jerk. That was his choice, not yours.

I probably am weird, but I don’t like being yelled at and I feels scary when someone acts like that. The valet offered to get security but I said I was ok and just wanted him not to touch me. I didn’t know what to say I was terrified.

Does your negative self judgement and self blame about a normal reaction to real jerk help the situation improve? It’s not weird. It’s healthy to be alarmed that someone is being aggressive. Even the valet suggested security was a reasonable option. He was concerned for safety as well. Not weird, but healthy. Your alarm kept you from getting in the car with him. That was good.

Your error was to blame yourself for another’s actions. The more you can own what you need as being valid, and keep communicating it clearly, the safer you can become.

 

[Mach123]

Such a good question, such a terrible feeling. I'm so sorry. I feel my life contains a giant pattern of recreation and I bring these things on myself. However there is just random sh*t sometimes. Yes, I'd say to myself, you should have known on the phone. I'd be mad at myself for "letting that happen again."

But don't if you can help it. It's work. I've done this with myself so much. My sympathies!

Actual physical confrontations take longer to fade than the mental ones? It may take awhile. For me some time goes by and other things take its place. I know to wait it out.

I hope you feel better.