"addicted" To Horror Movies?!?

[Lionheart]

I seem to have a long term "addiction" to or obsession with horror movies, dark suspense thrillers, and psychological thrillers. This would not be such a problem except that I am running into things that I find deeply disturbing; things that cause me extremely terrible nightmares and exacerbate my PTSD symptoms and anxiety levels to no end.

I would like to give an example of what I mean, but I cannot in good conscious expose anyone to such disturbia!!! Suffice it to say that the last movie that I watched was based on a true story and I cannot get the disturbing images out of my head.

I have been drawn to these types of movies since I was a child, (I am 53 now), and it has become a very unhealthy obsession for me. Yet I can't seem to stop myself. I wonder if this is similar to what an 'adrenaline junkie' experiences?

Perhaps, I am trying subconsciously to face my fears, but I am only succeeding in creating unhappiness for myself with what is supposed to be entertainment. Does anyone else do this?

Am I just mentally twisted or something? I mean, it is like passing by and looking at a car accident...ya know? You don't want to see anything horrible, but ya can't help but to look. It is like picking the scab off of a sore, ya know it will not heal and it will leave a scar, but ya do it anyway.

I have tried to switch to wholesome movies, comedy and animated films without much success....I keep being inexplicably drawn back to these dark, macabre movies that create disturbing visions, intensely negative thoughts and horrible nightmares.

 

[StarChild]

Hi Lion, may I first ask you if it does matter if these movies do have a "happy end"? I mean: Monster killed and death for all times? Or are you watching the other kind of movies too, (like the indestructible Michael Myers from Halloween)?

And yes you're not alone. I'm prone to these kind of movies too. But I do prefer the ones with a "happy end".

 

[Lionheart]

I have been watching a lot of what in effect are "theatrical documentaries", crime movies based on true stories and most do not have a happy ending although I do like the ones with a happy ending as well. I tend to like horror movies like "Hellraiser" for example, dark suspense thrillers like "The Caller", and psychological horror movies. The thing is that some of these movies expose me to physical and sexual abuse, torture, serial killers, cold blooded and senseless murders and the like.

I started out just liking a good spooky story but have found myself watching movies like "Ed Gein" which I do not recommend to anyone with or without PTSD!!!

 

[SeanCharles]

Suffice it to say that the last movie that I watched was based on a true story and I cannot get the disturbing images out of my head.

Another "Ah ha!" here... While I have been revisiting the very movie which originally aired in 1989, I seem to occasionally be revisiting this television movie via YouTube which was what in essence made me discover my own Pandora's box! Since then, the memories have safely restored so as to not flood me like they did upon resurfacing like they did back then.
@Lionheart777 I don't think you're alone. For me though, I don't see it as an obsession, I see what I am doing as way of visiting the past and measuring how far I have come.

 

[Lionheart]

I don't see it as an obsession, I see what I am doing as way of visiting the past and measuring how far I have come.

I hadn't thought of it that way and I suppose in essence I am doing that in some way.

 

[franciemarnie]

I could see too that in a way you are "experiencing" the horror in a safe way. You are in control.

That's what I used to do I think unconsciously. I never went for the type of movies that will purposely startle the viewer because I have had enough startle reflex action for ten lives. But I would watch cathartic movies where there is "justice" at the end. Like Terminator II and Aliens. I love to see the women stepping up and taking the evil ones down!!

But a lot of people without PTSD love horror movies. It's their favorite genre.

You're not twisted Lionheart!!

 

[SeanCharles]

@Lionheart777, While the past is a window of opportunity, sometimes the past can be a two-edged sword! I'm hoping that what I am doing in my own situation isn't

exacerbate my PTSD symptoms and anxiety levels to no end.

for myself.

The particular movie (a television movie) is "I know my first name is Steven". While the character in this movie was a kidnap victim, he endured a similar trauma which I did, although I was never a kidnap victim, I could see the similar lies that the victim experienced which in many ways triggered me negatively.

 

[StarChild]

For what it's worth: I don't buy that "based on a true story" thing. If one does an in-depth research, it often emerges, that most of these movies contain maybe 1- 2 percent of the original "true story".

@Lionheart777, maybe this sounds silly, but did you try to defang such movies? (e.g. Dracula dead and loving it / Zombieland / Scary Movie and so forth)? - I love to do that!

I don't see it as an obsession, I see what I am doing as way of visiting the past

Hmm... Not sure about this; For when I'm watching the dark kind of movies. I often got the impression, that I unconsciously try to re-enact what happened to me... I use horror movies as a distorting mirror. If they were to real, I mean to near to what really happened to me, I couldn't bear them.

But I would watch cathartic movies where there is "justice" at the end. Like Aliens

YES! You hit the nail on the head! I use Alien 2 often to calm down before I go to sleep. And I never had a nightmare because of it. - By the way @franciemarnie, when I looked up what "cathartic" means in my language, I got the giggles... Because it literally means: Purgative / Laxative! :woot::laugh::wacky:

 

[Lionheart]

I wanted to see the 'true' story about the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" which never happened the way it was told. If I am not mistaken, it was actually about a man (Ed Gein) who was a murderer (there was no chainsaw) and a cannibal and who, we find out at the end of the movie, had been suffering from chronic untreated schizophrenia.

There is some very graphic and disturbing gore in the movie and as it happens, I have a brother who suffers from schizophrenia. This and the graphic nature of the movie really ended up disturbing me deeply enough to give me nightmares and daytime visions that I cannot easily shake off, whether it was entirely "true" or not. I won't go into further details.

I still like the spooky types of movies where there is justice, I like a good ghost story and things of this nature but the story of Ed Gein was supposedly based on a true crime story and it was billed as a "horror movie" so I though nothing of how it might
disturb me...until it was too late.

 

[franciemarnie]

@SweetLullaby - I was watching Aliens (2) today. It calms me down too!

And I think that's an important point. If the movie, whatever it is or kind it is, has a beneficial effect on us, increases our well being - then that's a plus.

We kind of indirectly master horrifying scenarios over and over in a supremely competent way.

Although I would need all the heat Sigourney was packing to take on that Alien!! Ditto Sarah Connor. Suit me up!!

 

[SeanCharles]

:) Yeah, both great movies.

 

[bluelicorice]

I am with you on loving horror movies. Its also my favorite genre. I literally crave horror at times, and I've probably seen hundreds if not thousands of horror movies and TV series. I liked them well before my PTSD diagnosis, but since PTSD, I seem to have a special attraction to them. Unfortunately my desire to watch does bite me in the ass on occasion (am I allowed to say ass on here?). Like you, I get triggered by some of the things I watch. I have noticed that when I'm feeling my worst, I crave the horror movies and they actually make me feel a bit better, like relieved or something. My therapist says they may be cathartic for some PTSD sufferers, but at the same time she recommends I stop watching them. I haven't quite succeeded in that yet though!