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Admitting I Have Mental Illness - Would It Really Be My Downfall?

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Thanks again everyone. Yesterday I mainly discussed this topic with my T. He is really encouraging me to do two things, take a psychological evaluation test and see the MD, both of which I agree with.

We also discussed the origins of this fear/paranoia - telling him what I said here, that it is very deeply rooted, his comment was again that it relates back to the household environment - a big quagmire of multiple serious issues.

"Living a lie" or "living in the closet" or whatever you want to call it - keeping secrets - it is very draining in itself.
 
Personally, when I heard of the concept of traumatic psychiatric injury vs mental illness I found it very comforting. Clearly there is a bit of a semantics game there - it is what it is, clearly symptoms like depression and suicidal ideation are mental illness per se - but I guess the underlying principal is it was externally based rather than internally - of course arguments can be made on each side - ptsd could have a genetic component that leaves some susceptible, and some mental illness such as situational depression (say the young widow of a soldier killed in combat suddenly left alone with 2 kids) are externally based.
 
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