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All 3 Planned My Assault

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Littlebirdy44

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They planned it all. I didn't have any reason to fear walking home from my friend's house that night because it was early and in my own neighborhood. While walking past the park I was grabbed and hit in the head. I was still conscious but I kinda wish I wasn't because I recognized these voices. They dropped me on the ground and began to physically hurt me. Choking me, kicking me in the ribs and shoving mulch in my mouth. By the time one ripped my tights I was already outside my body. Watching but thankfully not feeling any pain. All three violated me and I remember saying to myself..I no longer want to be in this body is no longer my own. When I woke up face first in the mulch all I could do was cry. I don't know for how long because it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was finding a way to end this misery. This happened a month ago and..I'm still here. I'm fighting because I'm a survivor, we all are. And maybe I do wake up every morning contemplating suicide or praying for the world to cut me some slack and to just take me by accident but guess what...that hasn't happened. And hopefully it doesn't. I overcame physical, emotional and sexual abuse as a child. I can do it again. We can beat this illness friends, we can.
 
I am so sorry this happened to you. Are you going to report it... Do you know who it was?
You had no reason to not believe you were safe... I get so weary of us having to be vigilant to every move me make....
Glad to hear tho you are feeling like you want things to end... that you are going to fight.... that is our best revenge.... staying alive and still having a life...
We are all here for you... very gentle hugs if you accept.
 
I am so sorry this happened to you. Are you going to report it... Do you know who it was?
You had no rea...
Thank you friend <3 I plan on reporting it. Thankfully my therapist advised me to take photos of my wounds and bag my clothes from that night for evidence once I'm ready to come forward. I won't lie though I'm very scared because I can't put all of those boys from that group of friends behind bars and I fear what would happen after I take action. :( I'm giving myself the time I need and then maybe make a decision. I just don't want this to happen to anyone else. But I'm a fighter and I'll keep on fighting!!!
 
I actually had a couple of situations where my "friends" conspired to do something to me ... I narrowly got away both times. Your take (I can only hope that one day I will be able to help others with this painful experience) was pretty much my take on it and it was helpful. I actually did do a stint as a volunteer trauma intervention victim's advocate and was able to use a good amount of my background to be effective.
 
This is a hard place to be in.. it is made so complicated and difficult to file charges....and then to be worried it will happen to someone else. But you choosing to be an advocate in some way is very healing also....I am sorry you are in this situation at all...
Glad to hear you talked with T and followed her suggestions.... it's not right or wrong, what you choose to do... it is your life.
I do appreciate that you shared here. We are here for you... here it won't be made to be so difficult and complicated to have your feelings.... sending gentle hugs.
 
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