Am I the only one who was gaslighted?

[Lost in the Woods]

My family know I was gaslighted but my sister just gaslighted me. She switches everything onto me but she is really heartless. She knows that I have PTSD and been abused for decades, but she doesn't show up for me. Won't even call to see if I am ok.

I read somewhere a question on a PTSD fb page that asked the question, what could you do without? The answer was unanimously 'people'.

I find being around people really hard. But I also don't want to be alone. I want to laugh and chat with people. I need support, but I can't get support. I can't stand being forced to deal with NHS after everything but they are so domineering and authoritarian that I have no choice. I want connection with friends and family around me, but they aren't available. I want to hide in my house all day, but I want my old self back out having adventures and coffee dates.

I am actually scared of people. All people. I just can't cope with their judgement, criticisms and chaos. I think they will all hurt me. But I have to deal with people everyday.

I find that doing the hard stuff like engaging with others is the only way I will improve. I just force myself to do it and it gets easier. If I just isolate at home nothing changes, I just isolate at home.

 

[Evie loves Sam]

i choose not to cure it. i train it. i view it as as natural as breathing and highly beneficial when i use the natural gift well.

in 2012 i attended an ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) workshop. "mindfulness" was a base tenant of this workshop. "reframing" was one of the suggested tools. to my logic, the two together turn gaslighting into a highly beneficial tool. yeah, that cop who gave me a speeding ticket was being a serious a-hole about it, but i can gaslight my way to believing he was doing his best to do the dirty job of keeping our highways safe.

or? ? ? am i just gaslighting my way to believing i have found THE WAY? why can't life be simple?

I was just told that I am self gaslighting. And, I am talking like he's in the present. I had to see him yesterday. I shaked and cried the whole time and he still minimised his imoact on me, not accepting my diagnosis of PTSD.

 

[Evie loves Sam]

I find that doing the hard stuff like engaging with others is the only way I will improve. I just force myself to do it and it gets easier. If I just isolate at home nothing changes, I just isolate at home.

I know, its exposure therapy. I just shake like I have parkinsons when I have to speak to people. I am so socially aware of myself now, when I never cared that greatly before. I would just chat with anyone. I get triggered by gaslighting and the 'glare' or 'smirk' I saw on his face. I couldn't handle even him speaking without starting to cry and shake. No one cares. No one will hear me. I am a mess at even a look he gives me. I hear nuance and control and threat in everything he says.

 

[arfie]

he still minimised his imoact on me, not accepting my diagnosis of PTSD

and why, exactly, would the opinion of a perpetrator make a lick of diff to your recovery?

my recovery is mine. the of people who inflict these injustices matter just as much as the shit on my shoe. where's my sanitizer?

 

[Evie loves Sam]

and why, exactly, would the opinion of a perpetrator make a lick of diff to your recovery?

my recovery is mine. the of people who inflict these injustices matter just as much as the shit on my shoe. where's my sanitizer?

Thank you Arfie, you made me smile. You are right, he doesn't matter in my recovery, but he impacts it by interfering with it. My friend says I still talk like he's here now, because he got into my head. I need to use your words like a manta/ affirmation. So I will sticky note it around the flat. Thank you.

 

[Evie loves Sam]

He'sdoing it again. Wants me diagnosed based on his 'narrative' rather than on the 24/7 observations of mental health staff over 15 years, including hospitalisation. Why is it being entertained that he gets to interfere in my mental health duagnosis and treatment again, and again. He won't read any evidence put in front of him. He just keeps going down this track.

Why do I hit depression and anxiety at 6pm every night? I have it during the day too. When I wake up, at moments during the day. But it is really bad from 5.30pm/6pm to 9pm every night. Only since being released from hospital, not before. What can I do to change it? I've tried all the worksheets. I take medication before that time. I can't manage to distract myself.

 

[KA60]

I was gaslighted for 15 years. Yes, I am using the correct term. Psychiatrist called it gaslighting. I have been assessed by 15 psychiatrists and have clinical PTSD. Nothing else.

I want to know if others have been gaslighted and how they cope? What belief structures did it cause and how did they overcome?

My reality distorted for 15 years. I'm angry, hurt, worried, lost, tearful, anxious. Trying to just survive each day on my own.

No therapy available for 2 years waiting list. By that time, how much mire samage will there be?

Yes. My family of origion did it. My first deceased husband did it. Churches I attended in the past did it. Did not know it was gaslightinv till 2016. I had to learn and am still learning not to react. This has nothing to do with me. Gaslighting is about the other person's need for power and control. I have to end relationships if it is severe. I have a medical condition made worse by extreme emotional distress..I have come to realize it is my responsibilty to recognize gadlighting and take corrective action. By changing me. The other person engaging in this behavior will not stop acknowledge their behavior is dysfunctional. They will project on you.

 

[shimmerz]

You are right, he doesn't matter in my recovery, but he impacts it by interfering with it. My friend says I still talk like he's here now, because he got into my head.

Hi Evie. I can understand this and I wonder if it would be helpful to visualize that connection as something that is tangible and work on severing it from there. I think abusers do get into our heads so I don't think this is rare. For myself I visualize a cord in between he and I and I pretend I am removing it. It took time and persistence but I so much has eased for me.

Can I ask, what is it that is providing him the opportunity to gaslight you? Are you coparenting children or something with him?

 

[Evie loves Sam]

Hi Evie. I can understand this and I wonder if it would be helpful to visualize that connection as something that is tangible and work on severing it from there. I think abusers do get into our heads so I don't think this is rare. For myself I visualize a cord in between he and I and I pretend I am removing it. It took time and persistence but I so much has eased for me.

Can I ask, what is it that is providing him the opportunity to gaslight you? Are you coparenting children or something with him?

Co-parenting. He wants me out of my childs life for good. He wants me perminently intitutionalised, incaserated or dead. I dont know what he gets out of this - I am told its all about power and control. He can move on with his life. I dont want him in mine.