Analogy: My Ptsd Feels Like...

[NarcSis]

I'm treading water pretending not to fear the sharks that circle me.

 

[goingonhope]

My Ptsd feels like an unexpected ominous wind could suddenly take my life violently, if I were to stop to take too many breaths, or stray too far from home.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Like I'm a shade awaiting release for my crimes...

 

[crazytrain]

My PTSD feels like it is in control of me, when it should be the other way around.

 

[crazytrain]

Feels like I've been take out of one world, and alternate between 2 worlds both of which are full of chaos, and inconsistencies. When you thrown back and forth between them, you feel like your being smashed to pieces over, and over again.

One world I'm in is a barren tundra of frozen feelings, triggers that are like mines that set me off, and I stand alone in it, yet I exist besides the one I'm supposed to stand in fully; I stand between two worlds with my pain and emotions in one, and my outward facade in the other; people only see the face, but never what it takes to get past the triggers that they may never have to know/experience.

Wow! You are a very eloquent writer! You must have given this some thought, or you are insanely gifted! Or both, I guess... Either way, what a great description. I have a hard time with the whole emotional regulation thing. Either I am too sensitive or I tune out my emotions entirely. Never seems to be in the middle.

 

[AzureMind]

Wow! You are a very eloquent writer! You must have given this some thought, or you are insanely gifted! Or both, I guess... Either way, what a great description. I have a hard time with the whole emotional regulation thing. Either I am too sensitive or I tune out my emotions entirely. Never seems to be in the middle.

Well I just try to tell it like I seez it! :laugh: I've given it thought...and yet no thought at all? :alien: It's weird I know, but The subconscious is a CRAZY machine let me tell you!...my subconscious sends me pictures, symbols, and stuff like this all the time, I must be used to it by now, because one-upon-a-time, I would've been blown AWAY by some of the stuff it up-chucks you know? :laugh:

I mean that these experiences and feelings have been blocked out of my mind and then when they emerge from the bottom, I'm sent pictures, and abstract images that I emotionally just 'resonate' to; I saw for instance a cold, barren wasteland with snow blowing across it which gave me a feeling of isolation, and chaos; and constantly feeling stuck between being in a dissociative trance, and almost FAINTLY remembering my first dissociative experience, reminded me of being stuck between two worlds that blow my circuits sometimes! But these things are 'smashed' together symbolically for me and the end result is the aforementioned personification...lol

 

[Loveneverfails]

My ptsd feels like a cage of illusion and fear- I'm never sure where my anxieties end and reality begins.

 

[Ajf7849d]

Feels overwhelming. It's just overwhelming. I still can't fathom the fact that I'm not dead. Am I dead? I don't think so.

It's just so strange. I live in a world completely alien to just about everyone I come across. It's like it's a different dimension, like I was reborn a different creature. Weird stuff.

 

[frozen]

Feels like a really good reason to get out of this world and go be in peace!!

 

[Queen Boudica]

Despair.

Like I grew twisted and gnarled out of the depths of hell. I am rooted in that hell forever, every limb anchored down, pulling me back to the nightmare below.

I tried to grow straight and tall and beautiful, covered in leaves like the other trees, but all the poisonous people around me sucked any life out of me.

I lost my leaves, I started to wither and die and now I am on my last legs gasping for air in a World full of poisonous fumes.

Pulled back down to the ground, trying to crawl out away from the Hell, but I can't anymore. I am dying, rotting on the inside, maggots are eating away at my heart and there is nothing left, just a twisted, gnarled, heap of rotting wood.

 

[Muzikluvr]

Feels like I'm there again. Nothing has changed. No time has passed. Everything I want is in that moment and I need to get back to it. Fix it. Make it right.

 

[Philippa]

I 'liked' your description Lizio, but not because I like that this is how it feels for you, just that your words really capture the terror of the hell that is ptsd.