Anger

[minmo]

Most days I am a saint. Eternal love forgiveness and all that. Sometimes I fantasize about doing the wo...

This is me all over loving kind n always looking after my loved ones but my anger always over takes me when I have episode or when something triggers a memory I can't wait to start therapy so I can manage my trigger points as there is no cure for PTSD but at least I can start to manage this

 

[joeylittle]

I'm pretty sure that for me, getting angry at them instead of myself isn't going to help. Instead, I work on replacing the anger I feel towards myself with at least more balanced thinking. Being compassionate towards myself is a long-term goal, but definitely a number of steps away from where I'm at.

i can't imagine getting there, but there's no real reason why it shouldn't be possible.

So, I guess my version of an answer to your question is - my anger is the overwhelming feeling of wanting to claw my face off, break my skull open, set myself on fire. I try and turn it into a question: will doing that give me any relief? The answer is no, it will cause me suffering. Then, I can choose to live within the pain I'm feeling, instead of the drive to do something about it by destroying myself.

After that, it's usually less all-consuming, and I can keep working on turning down the intensity, to get it within manageable range.

I do this once, twice a day - more if I'm very stressed. But it used to be every few hours. It is slowly getting better.

 

[7Cs]

I cycle.... emotionally. It's very hard for me to feel angry. Mostly sad and hurt. Every now and again the anger creeps in - I need to embrace it. Those that hurt me deserve my anger. At least for a while.

 

[sugnim]

Honestly, if I could just get the person to admit to what happened, to be a witness to the truth, and to validate my feelings about it, that would be enough for me. I think.

 

[NatBird]

Today was the first time I had direct anger towards one of my abusers.

In my mind I went back to a year and a half ago when I was walking towards the door of my therapists office and he came around the corner walking towards me. In todays fantasy I punched him in the face then found a piece of rock come lose from the sectioned off 'road works' and pounded him with the rock in the back of his head until he was on his knees, bleeding and pulpy.

 

[NatBird]

Today was the first time I had direct anger towards one of my abusers.

In my mind I went back to a yea...

..Sorry if it sounds harsh, ultraviolent but it is what I felt like doing. I was surprised as I've not 'externalised' my anger towards any of my abusers once. For me this is progress. Hope I didn't upset anyone.

 

[Snowflake]

..Sorry if it sounds harsh, ultraviolent but it is what I felt like doing. I was surprised as I've not...

I understand-at times I imagine things similar

 

[GrayOwl]

I envision my abuser driving to work, chest puffed out as always, daydreaming about terminating the employment of more housewives, children and career minded employees. Thinking of more lies and schemes to demote, humiliate, and deprive his employees of their family time, benefits, self worth..... i envision him squirming behind the steering wheel as he excitedly gets off thinking about the hurt he can inflict and the bonuses he'll get for saving the company from spending millions more dollars in benefits and pension.......I envision the last thing he ever sees as his truck drifts into the other lane. The grill of a loaded semi trailer truck as it squashes him into oblivion. I could write a different chapter every night.
My therapists, my sponsor, my support group encourage me to break from these thoughts. As time goes by I spend less and less time visualizing his demise.
They say I should pray for him. God has scolded me. My prayers for him included the semi trailer truck. God said I need to do better. So I'm praying that someday I can do better.....after he's squashed.
Yours truly,
AngryGrayOwl

p.s. Most of the time I just wish he, and other abusers, would simply stop. If it took them getting a taste of their own medicine, that would be ok. But if I really wish them harm then I am no better than they are. So I do pray for peace for them and peace of mind for myself and those of us here.

 

[Friday]

Edited to add: Because I know that wouldn't solve things, or bring me relief. Tea does both.

"Unfortunately we're all out of bitter revenge, at the moment. So it's either tea or nothing." ;) :sneaky: :D
-C.Clare

if you have anger towards your abuser(s)- what would it look like, feel like? If you could do anything...

I can do anything I want to them. That I do not, is a choice. Usually a choice I make once, and then they're dead to me. Like Cashew; for me it's about solutions & relief. Some people mistake that for forgiveness. I do not forgive, and I do not forget. I make a decision as to a course of action.