Anxiety is killing my life

[Deleted member 37868]

I don’t even know if what I’m feeling is anxiety, it doesn’t feel like the physical type of anxiety I usually feel, like usually it’s fast heart beat, dizzy nauseous, sweaty and on and on. THIS is so much worse. I went on Effexor a few weeks ago so maybe that’s why I’m experiencing it differently. I went to my friends birthday and it was a bunch of people I don’t know, all from her work, i just kept thinking omg you’re nothing like these people because you’re not NORMAL! I think that about school, I’m enrolled for next semester but I don’t want to go, I think that when applying to a work place, it’s like I feel so incredibly alone and lonely when surrounded by people like heartbreakingly alone. I can act and put on a show for a few hours but it’s exhausting, I don’t think this is even depression, I’ve always felt incredibly different from most people, I don’t know how they do it all day, it’s not that I can’t but it’s not me, and it makes me feel like a phoney. I don’t know how much of this is mental health and how much of it is just ME, I remember feeling this way as long as I can remember but it’s becoming unbearable. I keep asking myself what is it that I’m scared of? I don’t know. I bet no one on here will even be able to relate to this, but if you do please comment! I want to feel like less of an anomaly.

 

[Gamereign555]

I don’t even know if what I’m feeling is anxiety, it doesn’t feel like the physical type of a...

It sounds more like depression. Perhaps the Effexor isn't addressing the anxiety very well, at least yet. I know from my own experience that elevated levels of anxiety kept me at a certain level of depression and sometimes it was really bad even debilitating.

Hopefully with time the medication will level out and you'll determine if it's a good fit. Continue therapy if you are already doing so. If you're a drinker, on a regular basis be aware as I recall alcohol always seemed to stab me in the back.

 

[Deleted member 37868]

It sounds more like depression. Perhaps the Effexor isn't addressing the anxiety very well, at leas...

Man haven’t been on here in ages, it’s definitely anxiety but you could totally be right about the depression being a coexisting thing. I think I’ve figured out the strange feeling is disassociation, pretty sure anyways, I’ve been waiting for a referral to go through for a therapist for like 2 years now, because Canada, but I won’t turn this into a rant about the health care system lol.

 

[Gamereign555]

Man haven’t been on here in ages, it’s definitely anxiety but you could totally be right about...

I don’t know why I didn’t think of that when you said that. I have felt that before. Usually it would happen while sitting in a recliner trying to watch tv. My heart would race and I would feel hot with sweaty or tingly hands and nose. I would suddenly struggle to catch my breath several times. The biggest detail; my head would feel as if it was behind me, sort of like a weird out of body experience followed by a nauseating feeling... enough for me to turn off the tv and lay down.

Also a few times I looked at an object and momentarily had no idea what I was looking at, it was a coffee cup for Christ sakes! Happened to me once also when I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror... it took me several seconds to understand it was me I was looking at! This all went away eventually, along with the hypogognia episodes I had also experienced.