MVA Anxiety over a car accident

[Questioning]

Hey, I was in a car accident three weeks ago. I was just leaving work, and turned a corner in an intersection. All of a sudden there was a loud bang and my car spun around and flew over a divider to the other side of the road. I managed to stop the car before I went into the ditch, and once I had gathered my thoughts I went back to the other sude of the road. There were multiple people there, and I was just walking around disoriented in shock. Then I went to talk to the guy who hit my car and he said I had run the red light. I was not drunk, I was fully aware of my surroundings yet I ran a red light. The thing that bothers me is the guy and everyone else were focused on blaming me for the accident, and I was the only one who was injured. Never asked me how I was. The guy’s car got scrathes, and my car was too messed up to fix. Of course I feel horrible for being the one who ran the red light, but it bothers me how nobody came to help me when it was clear I was not okay. His car was a big car, mine just a small car that was hit on the driver’s side. Now I keep getting these panics where even if I have a green light, I think it’s red and I have to stop myself from slamming on the brakes. Does anyone else have these experiences, where there was a car accident but no major injuries? I just keep going over a scenario where I hit another car and kill someone just because of a split second lapse in judgement. Also, the guy never attempted to turn his car or to slow down, even though he could see me from at least 50 meters away because I was right in front of him. All of it bothers me. I don’t want to blame myself for all of it, yet I do.

 

[blackemerald1]

Hello @Questioning I'm sorry you've had a collision in your car.

Of course I feel horrible for being the one who ran the red light, but it bothers me how nobody came to help me when it was clear I was not okay.

^Often people are in a bit of shock at collisions. Not excusing bad behaviour though. It would have been good if someone could have asked after you.

Does anyone else have these experiences, where there was a car accident but no major injuries?

^Yep. It's still a shock though regardless of the fact that there are no major injuries.

I just keep going over a scenario where I hit another car and kill someone just because of a split second lapse in judgement.

^This is probably your underlying anxiety condition playing up a bit. For sure the 'what if' mindset can pop up a little but quell that with the facts. Nobody was killed - remind yourself of that.

Also, the guy never attempted to turn his car or to slow down, even though he could see me from at least 50 meters away because I was right in front of him.

^This is also an aspect of the 'what if' mindset... If there had been nobody at the intersection the accident would not have happened.... and a million other possibilities... But stick with the facts. The collision did occur and it seems from what you have described, you were at fault. Obviously that feels bad but hey give yourself a break - everyone walked away from a collision so hold with that.

All of it bothers me. I don’t want to blame myself for all of it, yet I do.

^So the driving aspect... if you entered an intersection against a red light - accept that it was your actions that led to the collision. It feels bad and it sounds like you are searching your mind for factors that remove you as being responsible but I doubt there will be much. Can you accept you made a mistake whilst driving and that's all it was?

How people reacted at the collision is not your fault. You don't control other people and if they behaved badly then obviously they are responsible for their behaviour. So don't blame yourself for lack of concern etc., by other people after the collision.

I think it's normal to be a little bit concerned about moving through intersections even on a green signal after a fairly big collision... for a while.

After a driver collided with my vehicle at a T intersection I had moments of anxiety when approaching similar intersections for a while. I think I became a little less trusting and a lot more observant of other vehicles afterwards. But that over anxious feeling did settle.

Give yourself some time to process the accident and regain your confidence.

I'm glad you are okay.

 

[siniang]

@Questioning I'm sorry you've been and still are going through this.

My husband and I have been in a major T-bone collision in February. We were the other party from your story. The other car just pulled out into the intersection, ignoring our right of way coming down the highway. He didn't see us. We had no chance.

Luckily, no one was hurt (bar major schock and minor whiplash). The cars were totaled.

What I'm a little confused about is that you say no one cared for you. Was there no police? No paramedics? I know that I was very concerned for the other family, despite my own schock. The other people, the police officers and then paramedics were extremely concerned about me. They took my vitals at least 3 or 4 times.

I don't know if this is any consolation, but I do not blame the other driver (obviously I can't speak for your case, but offering my perspective; it probably helped that they were super nice and cooperative). Accidents happen. Humans make mistakes. We all lived. Cars can be replaced. Take the responsibility and accept your mistake, but do not beat yourself up over it. Are you sure they were really blaming you (well, it >was< your mistake) and you're not projecting your self-blame? Also, schock does a ton of weird things to our perception.

I still flinch when I'm approaching an intersection (having the right of way) and see another car approach it. This will take time. Many many years ago I witnessed a pedestrian collision. The sound of the crash and reluctance to cross a road with even very distant cars stayed with me for a really long time.

What is really important (and it sounds like you're doing this): do not stop driving.

 

[joeylittle]

Hi - I've moved your thread over to the specific trauma and stressors area, just FYI

Now I keep getting these panics where even if I have a green light, I think it’s red and I have to stop myself from slamming on the brakes. Does anyone else have these experiences, where there was a car accident but no major injuries?

It doesn't matter whether or not there were major injuries, in terms of your personal in-the-moment experience of the accident. It sounds like you are really struggling with this.

3 weeks is getting towards the point where you may be having a PTSD response to the incident. I'd strongly encourage you to see a therapist as soon as possible. With this kind of single-incident trauma narrative, therapy can be a pretty straightforward process. Consider EMDR or narrative exposure therapy.

It's not un-normal to have some kind of lingering anxiety response after a major accident. But that anxiety should be slowly diminishing over time. This is why PTSD isn't diagnosed in the immediate aftermath of a qualifying trauma - it's to give the brain a chance to 'file' the experience as an event in the past instead of the present. If the memory isn't consolidated properly in this way, PTSD can occur.

Do you think the anxiety is lessening over time?

 

[Questioning]

Hi - I've moved your thread over to the specific trauma and stressors area, just FYI

It doesn't matter whether or not there were major injuries, in terms of your personal in-the-moment experience of the accident. It sounds like you are really struggling with this.

3 weeks is getting towards the point where you may be having a PTSD response to the incident. I'd strongly encourage you to see a therapist as soon as possible. With this kind of single-incident trauma narrative, therapy can be a pretty straightforward process. Consider EMDR or narrative exposure therapy.

It's not un-normal to have some kind of lingering anxiety response after a major accident. But that anxiety should be slowly diminishing over time. This is why PTSD isn't diagnosed in the immediate aftermath of a qualifying trauma - it's to give the brain a chance to 'file' the experience as an event in the past instead of the present. If the memory isn't consolidated properly in this way, PTSD can occur.

Do you think the anxiety is lessening over time?

Hey, thanks for your reponse! I have forced myself to get behind the wheel again, but I still notice myself getting panicked because I have these scenarios in my head. Before, I always was confident in my driving but now I seem to think I will make a mistake or someone else will. I still get these urges to just stop my car for no reason, and driving makes me very uncomfortable. My friends and family urged me to start driving as soon as possible so I did.Maybe as time goes on the anxiety will diminish. But I am definitely still experiencing these mini panic attacks while driving, it’s like my brain just shuts down all of a sudden and then I just bring myself out of it. Maybe it is still normal as it was only a fee weeks ago?

 

[Questioning]

@Questioning I'm sorry you've been and still are going through this.

My husband and I have been in a major T-bone collision in February. We were the other party from your story. The other car just pulled out into the intersection, ignoring our right of way coming down the highway. He didn't see us. We had no chance.

Luckily, no one was hurt (bar major schock and minor whiplash). The cars were totaled.

What I'm a little confused about is that you say no one cared for you. Was there no police? No paramedics? I know that I was very concerned for the other family, despite my own schock. The other people, the police officers and then paramedics were extremely concerned about me. They took my vitals at least 3 or 4 times.

I don't know if this is any consolation, but I do not blame the other driver (obviously I can't speak for your case, but offering my perspective; it probably helped that they were super nice and cooperative). Accidents happen. Humans make mistakes. We all lived. Cars can be replaced. Take the responsibility and accept your mistake, but do not beat yourself up over it. Are you sure they were really blaming you (well, it >was< your mistake) and you're not projecting your self-blame? Also, schock does a ton of weird things to our perception.

I still flinch when I'm approaching an intersection (having the right of way) and see another car approach it. This will take time. Many many years ago I witnessed a pedestrian collision. The sound of the crash and reluctance to cross a road with even very distant cars stayed with me for a really long time.

What is really important (and it sounds like you're doing this): do not stop driving.

Hey, I appreciate you sharing this. I’m glad you and your husband and everyone else was not majorly injured. It is scary.This is what my worst fear about it is, I have always been a very responsible driver and always considered people who run the red light as irresponsible or Selfish. So it was definitely an eye opener. I am just the type of person to go over ”what if” scenarios forever. I accept my responsiblity over the accident, I guess the dirty looks and disregard for me was what shocked me. In the moment I was frantically walking in a circle and asking the guy if he sprained his neck or anything but he just laughed and said no, he was complaining about how his time is being wasted. When my car went over the divider I managed to stop my car before going into the ditch and I just sat there in disbelief for maybe about 2 minutes. When I drive my car back to the scene of the accident, the guy had stopped other cars to collect their info so that they could testify against me in court. Nobody had called the police or ambulance or anything. Even though it was my fault, I would have expected some concern as I was tossed around quite badly while the other car did not even flinch according to the guy who was driving it, since my car was very small and his was a big family car, and I was hit directly on the driver’s side. I got people turning their cars around and just stopping by me and looking at me like I was the scum of the earth while I was crying alone next to my totaled car.. the ambulance came of course, after I called it myself, and they asked me if I want to be checked for my injuries but I refused because I was a bit messed up. I am not saying I need all the sympathy here, it was just a shocking experience which I had never expected to be in as the one who caused the accident, and I was hoping for responses from people like you for example who could just give their perspective on the Matter. Thanks for sharing, it is nice to hear that u both were at least physically okay. I guess the thing that makes car accidents so shocking is the suddenness of it all..