General Any Tips For Being Strong Everyone?

[Sunshine71]

HI all

I am struggling.

I managed to force myself out of bed at 2.30pm yesterday and my eyes are so puffy from crying I can hardly open them. I keep crying for no reason. Well there is a resson I suppose.

Hubby is wiped out - I am a trigger and PTSD is forcing us apart. I dont want to lose him - we have been together since we were 18 and are now 42. We love each other very much.

I have been a trigger for the past year or so and hubby feels he is getting worse. It is so sad - PTSD is an evil illness.

I dont want to get depressed myself - If I cant cope then what will happen. Any tips for being strong everyone? I am wiped out and just gutted.

Thanks amazing people Sunshine xx

 

[Springer80]

Hi Sunshine,

My tip for staying strong is admitting your not and not trying to be....and allowing time for being not strong together whenever you get the chance. :hug: XXX

 

[Leah123]

Oh honey, I am sorry. PTSD is evil. Can hubby get counseling? Do you know, in your heart, that it's not you that has anything to do with "being" a trigger? That it's not your responsibility, not your fault, not you intrinsically at all? I just want to make sure.

I think crying is a sign of strength and it can the suffering pass faster. Do you have friends to confide in? This is a good spot for it too. What comforts you, and can you double up on doing it?

Sending you comforting thoughts. You're in a scary place, no shame in being scared! I hope you gain some clarity and good news soon.

 

[PTSDMama]

I'm so sorry this is happening. How amazing that you two have been together so long - kudos! What an amazing thing, especially nowadays.

I don't know what helps you be strong normally, but I can tell you a few things that help me. My sufferer is a little different - he's my 7 year old son. So different relationship. But there are many times, most recently a day or two ago, where I feel utterly ripped apart and struggle to come out of it.

What has helped me the most this time is talking. Lots of talking about what's going on. I tend to not share a lot with people, and I'm still careful to protect my son. But there are people I trust in my life and I have just been sharing all the details I can with them. I posted that I didn't have anyone to talk to the one day and then boom! I found myself surrounded - here, and in real life. So, yeah, talking really has helped me get back in the fight, so to speak.

From the talking, I have heard humor, support, heard what people think I do well (extremely empowering), some creative ideas, etc. I go back in armed with all this in my head and feel so strong.

Exercise is also something that can be empowering...but that takes energy and sometimes that's part of not feeling strong - that you don't have energy. Which brings me to my next point. Nutrition is very important. Eating healthily for me is more than just knowing I'm doing something good for my body. When I don't eat right, I am in extreme pain. So making sure I get lots of water, eating right, etc.

I say this last, not because it's least important. It's actually the most important for me. Clinging to the hope of Jesus makes me feel so strong. That no matter what happens, I know his love conquers everything. Not trying to preach, just sharing what makes me feel strong.

There's a song that sums up what I've been feeling lately when I'm so tired. It's called Worn. Not sure if it will speak to you, and not all of the lyrics apply, but here you go. I hope you can feel stronger soon and that some light will enter this dark time. Hugs to you!

 

[Sunshine71]

Thank you do much for sharing PTSD Mama - I am replying through the sobs of this amazing song. It really sums it all up.

My son too is 7 so my heart really does go out to you.

Its been a tough morning - another big discussion with hubby. He really is worn. And so am I.

Thank you again and I hope others will hear this song too.

Sunshine xxxx

 

[PTSDMama]

It really does! It's been my anthem lately. :-) Praying for the three of you this morning that you will find strength and hope and feel so incredibly loved.

 

[LizardViolet]

Sunshine, I really hope you and your husband can get some help, if you haven't already. A good therapist with expertise in trauma. Maybe someone with EMDR certification. It's so, so hard to deal with this stuff on your own.

Are either of you readers? Francine Shapiro has a new-ish book, now available in paperback, called Getting Past Your Past. It is in part a big commercial for EMDR, but it also has some self care techniques.

Peter Levine has several very good books on healing trauma, including one called, appropriately enough, Healing Trauma.

I am sending healing thoughts and strength to you both.

 

[Sunshine71]

Thanks PTSD Mama and LizardViolet too.

Hubby is getting support - and it only stopped when he had a heart attack (ages 38) 3 years ago. He wants to be 'fixed' and the counselling is so tough for him. Just wipes him out.

He went to see a 'Shamen' and had to walk out. The guy held his hands up and said I just dont know how to help you - great eh?

Will look at the books too. Thanks for the tips. Hubby isnt really a reader sadly.

Today isnt a good day however I will sit and quietly work and hope I feel OK and that hubby can do well too.

Much love - sunshine