Anyone Else Experience Abuse Within The Mental Health System? How Do You Cope?

[Sunset]

Part of my problem is that I experienced a lot of trauma and disbelief within the mental health system. I have multiple examples of seeking mental health treatment significantly worsening my condition, often to the point of wanting to die when I previously didn't without the treatment. At this point I find myself significantly wary of seeking any sort of mental health treatment. I don't feel like I could ever fully trust someone as long as I know they're part of the mental health system. And I don't know how to cope - I don't know where to turn, I don't and can't feel comfortable or safe with mental health treatment.

 

[Suzetig]

Do you need mental health treatment just now? That is to say are any symptoms manageable, are you able to do the things you need to do each day/week etc. Not everyone with ptsd does need active treatment all the time and taking a break, using coping skills and strategies may be enough to keep you well enough.

If you don't need active treatment, don't go for treatment.

 

[Ronin]

Are there alternative options of treatment for you?

Any organizations working with mentally ill people where you're at that wouldn't have ties / or only at request, with the psychiatric system?

 

[Sunset]

Do you need mental health treatment just now? That is to say are any symptoms manageable, are you able...

Honestly at this point...I feel like I'm coping, but just coping, if that makes sense. I am on medication - meds are easier to handle than therapy because I don't really have to open up, just tell them some symptoms I want to be treated. I'd like someone who would actually answer my questions and talk to me about how to manage in a world that seems genuinely frightening and like you're not supposed to be paranoid but when you don't act paranoid bad things happen to you. But I don't know where to turn.

 

[joeylittle]

I'd like someone who would actually answer my questions and talk to me about how to manage in a world that seems genuinely frightening and like you're not supposed to be paranoid but when you don't act paranoid bad things happen to you. But I don't know where to turn.

Can you say more about, what is the thing that will go wrong? Or - let's say you thought you might have found that mental health professional....what are you afraid they will do that will harm you?

Just wondering what might come up if you share more of your thoughts about it.

 

[Sunset]

Can you say more about, what is the thing that will go wrong? Or - let's say you thought you might...

Well, what happened to me was that this guy didn't believe a lot of things that I said had happened - like being abused by a fellow student. So he put a bunch of stuff in my file that wasn't true, or was only half-true, in a way that it made it look like I was in a significantly worse mental state than I was actually in. That was then used coercively against me with the threat that if I didn't toe the line I'd be labelled a danger to myself and/or others based on symptoms that I did not believe were at all accurate. And example of this might be separating from a social group that was friends with my abuser - this was painted as me just closing myself off from people and refusing help from people who wanted to support me, rather than a rational decision to distance myself from a genuine abusive relationship.

 

[joeylittle]

OK, so that's what happened, in the past - can you write more about what you are afraid might happen, or what the worst thing is that could happen?

That was then used coercively against me with the threat that if I didn't toe the line I'd be labelled a danger to myself and/or others based on symptoms that I did not believe were at all accurate.

Do you think there was a motivation for this, on the part of the therapist?

 

[Friday]

That was then used coercively against me with the threat that if I didn't toe the line I'd be labelled a danger to myself and/or others based on symptoms that I did not believe were at all accurate

There's a fairly easy fix to this : Don't identify yourself.

Both of the blokes I've actually worked with over the past couple years, (as well -in theory- as absolutely everyone I've interviewed in person, and most of my phone interviews), has been perfectly fine with working with me anonymously. It's not like trauma therapists aren't used to paranoia & trust issues. They've each coped with my own just fine. Kinda goes with the territory.

 

[Sunset]

OK, so that's what happened, in the past - can you write more about what you are afraid might happen, or what the worst thing is that could happen?

Do you think there was a motivation for this, on the part of the therapist?

Honestly I think a lot of it was just bog-standard bullying. He saw me as a problem to be controlled however necessary rather than a human being who needed treatment. What I'm afraid of is if I go back to treatment, they'll put more lies in my record and then say if I don't continue treatment with them I'm obviously a danger to myself and have me locked up on the basis of things I supposedly said and did, and no one will believe me because they're the professional and I'm not and it's just crazy to say a professional actually lied.

There's a fairly easy fix to this : Don't identify yourself.

Both of the blokes I've actually worked with over the past couple years, (as well -in theory- as absolutely everyone I've interviewed in person, and most of my phone interviews), has been perfectly fine with working with me anonymously. It's not like trauma therapists aren't used to paranoia & trust issues. They've each coped with my own just fine. Kinda goes with the territory.

Unfortunately not identifying yourself also means you can't bill insurance - which is something I can't afford to do.

 

[digger]

Unfortunately not identifying yourself also means you can't bill insurance - which is something I can't afford to do.

Are there are any charities that might be able to offer you any support so that you don't have to access help via the healthcare system? Is that something that you might feel more comfortable with?

 

[joeylittle]

What I'm afraid of is if I go back to treatment, they'll put more lies in my record and then say if I don't continue treatment with them I'm obviously a danger to myself and have me locked up on the basis of things I supposedly said and did, and no one will believe me because they're the professional and I'm not and it's just crazy to say a professional actually lied.

Ok. So - bad therapist was a bully, probably (as you said).

That doesn't mean all therapists are bullies.

Your fears are so identical to what happened before, I would suggest that they are probably cognitively distorted. You know more now than you did; so you can interview therapists more effectively, and be looking for someone who is not a bully.

So long as you fear the past exactly repeating itself, your past will rule your present. I get that it feels scary and risky - but you also sound like you want therapy again...and the reward might outweigh the risk.

 

[Friday]

Unfortunately not identifying yourself also means you can't bill insurance - which is something I can't afford to do.

Free resources are a lot harder to find, unless you just get lucky, but there are many out there.

This forum isn't therapy, but it's one example of a resource to start piecing into your recovery. Similar not-formal-therapy but very good for you things to be working on areas you know you need to work on are out there, too.

Closer to formal therapy might could help you work on your therapy-issues along with being good for you. Things like support groups, (NAMI comes to mind), or led groups / classes offered for free to the public through your local hospitals (check out their listings, good hospitals tend to offer weekly/monthly groups on a wide variety of topics; parenting, grief, eating disorders, sleep disorders, stress management, depression, etc.) which would give you access to both trained professionals but without the 1:1 aspect, nor the commitment. (Don't have to try and find someone right for you, just need to listen and if you like the group & instructor? Come back. Don't like them? Don't come back to that class.)

There's also a wide variety of usually group, but sometimes individual therapies that are done proBono surrounding certain subjects (domestic violence, rape, child abuse, victims services/crime based trauma are some commonly found ones, but uncommon ones like trafficking, torture, refugees, K&R, etc. also exist) who are nonProfits or get their funding via the govt. or grants.

Outside of the secular sphere there are a number of religious organizations (Catholic Community Services, Jewish, & LDS are the big 3 that also reach out to / allow non-members) who fund / scholarship / subsidize a wide variety of counseling & therapy options.

Lastly, people are often open to barter, if you are willing/ask. Especially in some of the non-traditional therapy approaches (like trading barn work for equine therapy, or leading some of the non-trauma yoga classes on exchange for being able to attend the trauma-yoga class).