Anyone Else Have Trouble Imagining Their Future?

[madmax]

I belong inside this post; however I cannot add anything but it sometimes is the truth we stare at that makes us so UN-nerved.

 

[Chincho]

It's been a long time since I thought of myself having a future. I can picture my husband and my teenage boys' future, but somehow I know I'm not there. This doesn't make me feel bad, it's just the way it will be in my mind.

I know I will be better the day I can plan for a whole week. Even better the day when I can think of what I want to do with myself next year or so.

 

[Mayday]

Yes, I do this too. Find it very hard to think of my future. It varies with my mood. Even thinking a few months ahead is a major struggle.

I once saw a psychiatrist who asked me something similar, like did I have any goals or where did I see myself in 5 years etc...and I honestly couldn't answer him. He then suggested that I "do something with my life, like get married and have some kids". Needless to say, wasn't the most helpful advice and I never went back.

 

[The Albatross]

I've had that suggestion, not by my former shrink, but from some well intentioned others. Yeah it wasn't the most helpful... but hey. If I hadn't had the therapy, I probably wouldn't have been able to consider the people who said that to me as "well intentioned"!! :O_o:

 

[Philippa]

Wow. I wonder how many people actually went and got married and had kids because their psych told them to?:rolleyes:

It's very reassuring to realize I'm not alone in this way. I haven't spoken about this before because I felt like their was something wrong that I couldn't seem to think of my future, and never considered it might have something to do with being traumatized. I think just getting through the day is achievement enough, and really, focusing on being in the moment, isn't that what zen monks say is the best way to live?

So many people are future obsessed, and miss the moment.

 

[Spiderallis]

I struggle with this a lot. It doesn't mix well with my medical stuff. My MD is pretty frustrated, it just doesn't make sense to her. There's preventative stuff I should be doing to delay complications from a chronic condition. I can hardly keep myself together right now, some 'maybe' several years away isn't even on the radar. I'm afraid of saying something awful so I just blank out and nod.

 

[pathos]

GOD, I hate when people ask me where I see myself in the future - a year from now or two years or whatever. I get so flustered and frustrated (with myself) and I just want to exit the conversation and go to my room and sleep until the feelings go away.

The thing is, I want to do a ton of things. But I know I'll fail at them all because I can barely go outside! So I don't bother thinking about the future. It just makes me sad. Why make plans when none of them will happen? So if I get asked, it just shoves it in my face that I have no future.

I agree with others, I'm just living until the next sleep.

 

[xena21]

My birthday was yesterday so my Dad and Step-Mother took me out for lunch. I haven't seen or talked to them in a long time (on purpose). They don't realize how bad things are with me, and I put on a very good ruse. I always play a part for the outside world. That's how I got through my jobs.

Anyway, my Step-Mother asked what I planned to do in the future now that my disability is not really paying enough to pay the bills. I couldn't even think of anything I "wanted" to do. There is nothing I have any desire to do anymore. So I made up something to please her. It made me sad that I couldn't think of anything myself. But then again, I realized that I want to die on a daily basis so thinking of working is not going to be helpful.

I hate myself so much that I always think of ways to die, but hope other people could do it instead. It's the guilt thing. Anyway, I can't think beyond today at all. It takes so much strength for me to stay alive each day that I can't think about staying alive a couple years from now.

I try to do what other people want to show I am trying but it doesn't ever seem to change anything. I guess that is the hopelessness part. I am always alone and hope to die before I get old so I I don't have to die old and alone. I would rather die young and alone... I have never had a relationship with anyone, and can't imagine EVER having one with someone, so I prepared for a life like this.

 

[KP the nut]

So many people are future obsessed, and miss the moment

This made me think. You are so right.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

So many people are future obsessed, and miss the moment.

I'm no longer future obsessed mostly I've given up on the concept of future and any thoughts I have of it are fleeting. Having said that I don't live for the moment either as I spend most of my time scared, anxious and upset.

I agree with others, I'm just living until the next sleep.

I also find that because I get so exhausted from being distressed all the time I frequently sleep until the next sleep, or more broadly until anything that isn't e.g. appointments with my social worker and hopefully one day until my therapy sessions but they still haven't happened yet.

Wow, downer post. :S

 

[Philippa]

Having said that I don't live for the moment either as I spend most of my time scared, anxious and upset.

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you can spend more moments feeling good and safe instead of scared, anxious and upset...but I understand how hard that can be when symptomatic of PTSD. It's not fun living in fear. I spent a lot of time upset and worried as well in the past. Meditation has helped me a lot. I still have times when I am upset and anxious and scared though.

I also find that because I get so exhausted from being distressed all the time I frequently sleep until the next sleep, or more broadly until anything that isn't e.g. appointments with my social worker and hopefully one day until my therapy sessions but they still haven't happened yet.

Wow, downer post. :S

I can relate to this. I spent a lot of time sleeping as well when I was distressed and upset. It was my only escape apart from drugs.

 

[aka]

I very much hate being asked about the future since I usually come up with answers I really don't think will happen or don't really want to happen. I just feel obligated to answer even though there is no emotion other than dread that comes up when I think of the future. I think my biggest problem is my inability to get excited about anything. Like holidays, I really could care less about most of them. I also have told myself for so long that the next month or year will be better, that I no longer believe it. Instead all I see is the continuing of crappy life events and constant depression and fear. I know this isn't a good way to see life but I haven't found a way or reason to change it.