Anyone Have Trouble Using The Phone?

[Zef]

The phone is probably the worse phobia I have. I've somehow reduced the number of times I need to use the phone at work to around 1-2 week, which is manageable. If I had to use it anymore, my fight to stay working would be much, much harder.

Mine is definitely related to trauma as some of my few clear memories are related to the phone. Of course, student loan and credit card bill collectors calling me a dozen times a day once I got out of college didn't help me any. . .

Even the times when my wife has been out of town and calling in, I can't seem to last more than about 10 minutes before I'm all but begging to get the phone.

 

[Charmedone]

I never used to speak at all unless it had to. It wasn't until I started a job that I started talking but phone calls were out of the question. Then my best friend moved away, I started calling and hanging up before she answered... Slowly I started talking. Through my jobs I need to use the phone loads. Now I still feel anxious and occasionally can't bring myself to speak but usually I manage to 'fake it' I put on an over confident voice, I visualise the kind of smooth talker I wish I was and I try to ensure whatever needs done gets done so that I don't have to call/be called again. I try to plan what I'm going to say before hand so that if my mind goes blank I have something prepared. If someone calls me and I feel panic I ask they call back later and prepare myself. If its a loan company or marketing person I change my fear into faked anger- I tell them I do not wish to be contacted again, for them to record it as if I am contacted I will take legal action against them for harassment and I hang up. -this is good practice for using an assertive voice, something which I lack. When on the phone I visualise what I want to achieve, I evaluate how well the call went afterward too and try to work on it. It took me lots of practice to get to this point and I hope to improve further....

 

[Chosen]

Wow, I had no idea that other people didn't like using phones too!

I'm fine using phones in office for work situations. But as soon as it comes to my own life, calling doctors, or counselors, or prospective employers, I freeze...I hate leaving voicemails. I'm really only comfortable talking to very close friends on the phone.

It takes a long time for me to feel comfortable talking over the phone with people. There's no backspace option, and it's not as easy to figure out what the other person's reaction is to what I'm saying.

 

[Red Feather]

It is sooooo hard for me to use the phone. Especially calling someone myself. I usually resort to emails or text messaging. I have been this way for years and it really is a problem sometimes. I can't believe so many people have this issue as well !

I also just posted elsewhere that I have a high voice, and often people think I am a child and ask to speak with my mother when I pick up. That is really very annoying and stressful for me. I think what is so hard about using the phone is the aspect of being dismembered from your body.

A strange thing is that I can talk with my ex (abuser) much easier on the phone than in person. Does anybody else have that?

 

[alleycat]

I absolutely hate talking on the phone and yes, it's very closely tied to my childhood trauma (I was the unofficial secretary for my father's construction company from about the age of 10 or 12 on. Extremely random and volatile calls from demanding customers and from my father either checking in or needing something done immediately). Every time the phone rings my chest tightens up and I start panicking. I can usually put up a front and seem normal during the call, but will often double up and freeze or begin hyperventilating or go into a hard anxiety attack afterwards. If I'm stressed or on edge, a ring or even the tone when a text message comes in will make me physically jump, no matter how used to the ringtone I am or how regularly it occurs. Drives my best friend crazy. Cold calls (where I'm not calling someone back) are especially difficult and I will put them off for days if not weeks.

I was actually supposed to call someone to ask about an aspect of my new job this morning. Still hasn't happened.

In terms of lessening it, immersion certainly doesn't help. Almost all of my friends know to text rather than call me. I've created a special ringtone for my friend who calls most often and I've chosen quieter, less startling ringtones for it and for the universal one. Tends to cut down on my anxiety.

 

[Traumagirl]

I never connected my abuse with the telephone. My abusive ex-boyfriend used to abuse me over the phone while we were in college. It happened so many times that I can see why I shake when the phone rings now. Luckily my other abuser (my mother) rarely called me or I'd really be a mess.

 

[Red Feather]

Yeah I once got a crank call from someone who had some kind of machine that would listen in on our conversations. He pretended to be my boyfriend (now ex) and spoke in this really sick voice. That freaked me out so bad. That might have been one of the reasons I hate using the telephone.

 

[cherryblossom]

I don't really have problems using the phone, but this thread has made me remember an incident at home when I was little.

My family must have been receiving abusing phone calls, because I recall my Mum having a high shrill whistle by the phone, that she would occasionally blow down the phone. I seem to recall answering the phone, and some man asking to me to take my pants down. My Mum taking the phone off me, and blowing the whistle down the phone.

I don't know how old I was, but it would be less than 10. Perhaps I'll ask my Mum about it some time.

 

[Shellbell]

It is so good to find this forum and read threads that make me realise that other people with PTSD have the same problems - like using the phone. Thank you for posting this thread. I hate using the phone and avoid it at all costs and constantly screen my calls, only answering when I have to. I didn't remember til just now reading it that it's probably related to my parents also screening their calls and yelling constantly to not answer the phone and getting very annoyed when I did. It's also a noise issue for me because I like to see people's faces and expressions when they talk and I can't see that on the phone.

 

[Heidi07]

I hate using the phone too and making important phone calls. I have to write down what I need to say, otherwise I will forget it. I almost work up a sweat when facing those calls and keep putting them off hour after hour or day after day. I have found though that writing down what I need to say helps a lot. Otherwise my mind goes blank because I am so nervous and I forget everything.

 

[DharmaGirl]

No, I have no problems with the phone but I have a really hard time getting the mail. I will let it sit in the mailbox (We have a locked one) for at least a week.

 

[Traumagirl]

I just can't stand not being able to see the person's body language and facial expressions. It creates so much anxiety that I'd rather never use the phone again.