Are Today's Children Ruder Than Before?

[BloomInWinter]

Children are more rude because we have far too few healthy, non-stressed, properly educated and supportive parents to model, and teach good manners.

It's ok to look gently in a child's eye and say "It's considered rude to take someone else's turn." If she doesn't relinquish the space, then it's ok to say "if you don't let me have my turn, I will be notifying the [authority in charge]."

That usually does it. When they have no clue about social skills, responding gently to teach rather than condemn actually helps them and society as a whole. It's doing that child a favor to point out a gaffe kindly rather than just letting it go. If the parent is around, I'll give the parent a chance first by asking that person.

If the parent is rude, I still speak gently with the child, but then I may have to notify the authority.

 

[rightkindofme]

Actually people have been having this same conversation for about as long as there has been writing. The Greeks were fond of going off on how disrespectful the youngsters were.

 

[Britt.f7]

@rightkindofme That is how I think. Each generation thinks this new generation is rude, but I've met some of those older generations that I think their mama didn't teach them any manner's either. :eek:

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Lol

 

[intothelight]

Children tend to model what they see at home, popular culture and society as a whole. I think that society is much ruder than it has been in the past. Manners are something that have been lost and children cannot have what they have not been taught.

Personally, I think if we all act as we would want to be treated then we are setting an example and we never know who will be touched by it. Bloom's suggestion was great as it sets an example of how to "politely" address inappropriate behavior without losing the object lesson.

 

[DharmaGirl]

far too few healthy, non-stressed, properly educated and supportive parents to model, and teach good manners.

Were there ever? I know that many, many of the people who were considered fine, upstanding citizens were abusing their children in private.

Actually people have been having this same conversation for about as long as there has been writing

Yes, there is a quote from Plato about it.

My son is now 16 and all his life I've been told how well mannered he is. He was NEVER spanked, but he was disciplined and has grown into a fine young man.

 

[Venusian]

"Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”

I love this saying, it has been attributed to Socrates or Plato but some places on the internet say it is part of a thesis by Kenneth Freeman in 1907.

 

[Abstract]

I personally don't think we can generalise so totally. I suspect we get periods of time where there are pockets of deterioration in certain areas and other periods where it improves. I suspect a lot of what happens depends on whatever is the hot approach to parenting at a particular time and place and politics in general.

I think there were parenting gurus not too long ago that touted a "friend" type approach to dealing with children and as a result some parents and even some schools adopted the approach.

Many of my friends (and me) were brought up in a "children should be seen and not heard" way and none of my nieces, nephews, godchildren or friends children are. Half of them are being brought up in a way I very much approve of with consistent parenting with good boundaries but mutual respect and affection.The children are not terrified little robots but are lovely to be around. The other half are a little like wild animals where the parents are trying so hard to be friends and do things differently to their parents that children are quite difficult to be around. They are selfish and self involved as all in the household revolves around their every whim.

As for the whole washing out the mouth with soap etc, I think it is totally inappropriate and bad parenting as well as potentially dangerous. It wasn't uncommon but I do thing its on the way out and that that is a good thing.

So I personally am glad to the demise of the children are to be seen and heard brigade but am not a supporter of the no parenting approach to parenting and wonder about the consequences longer term. I suspect there will be a rash of narcissists in society as that is one of the potential results of the approach.

That is only talking about my lifetime and my environment. As others have said this topic is as old as time itself.

 

[heidi]

What about the 80s kids? We had to have to been the worst. Learning was considered to be uncool and all the bullying..