Are You An Easy Target For Others Who Attack You?

[Shellbell]

I think it's a common reaction for many of us, but I can see how it is part of how the forum is managed and the reasons why it is good. But yes, I did feel attacked at the time.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It just depends on what is going on I guess and if the person is out of control or not. I think in my instance recently I think I handled it appropriately. I just silently walked away leaving my words to speak for themselves. I did not do anything to deserve it. It was a person I liked, respected and admired and considered a mentor.

It was such a shock the amount of anger that was turned up against me. I have learned that when someone does not hear or see me there is no point in getting into it. I will end up raging most likely and that makes me feel guilt and shame and those hurt far more than just walking away. At least this way I know I have done no harm and I hate feeling guilty and shame for things I have said and done in the past.

I sure appreciate your responses. I am learning alot. I think having some statements ready would help. I am unprepared for this kind of thing. It has worked out for me. I have peace and peace of mind now. I did no harm. I even went back to the thread and voiced my opinion again. It does take alot of strength to just walk away . I have to ask myself how important is it? I do not need people like this in my life. Untrustworthy and undependable, unstable. If it happens once, it can happen again.

I do not excuse this kind of behavior. I have ptsd and i do not do that to people. So I figure they have no excuse either. They are the ones with out of control emotions. People like this are very scary to me. I do not have to have this person in my life anymore. I can heal from this.

I sure am learning so much. i have lost control of my emotions and ended up looking like the bad guy. I did not do that this time and I am very proud of me for this growth step. I have my dignity intact. I can hold my head up and be without regret. I have in the past started out calm and reasonable and ended up raging and going off on a person who could not see or hear me, but had their own agenda. This experience branded me. I wished I had let my phone machine had gotten the message and I had never responed to it. I was haunted for years by that one.

I am not experiencing any of that right now and I feel good about that. I do have bottomline behaviors which are deal breakers and this situation was a deal breaker for me. I will feel better as I heal from this.

I will never understand people like that. No remorse. Beware people with hidden agendas and have pathological beliefs that are so emotion driven. Beware. I do not give a person like that a second chance to do it to me again. I so appreciate all of your responses . they are helping me so much. I am learning so much.

But the most precious lesson is that I told and asked for help and I got so much help and support and encouragement. This is a brand new experience for me. i have never ever in my life known how this feels. I so appreciate all of you so very much. Big hugs to all of you. I even had one person take a stand for me. I have never known this before. It has so deeply touched my heart.

 

[Sues]

But the most precious lesson is that I told and asked for help and I got so much help and support and encouragement.

Awww, you are so welcome! I'm so glad I found this place. Everyone is so helpful here!!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I will practice focusing on the good and the positve. I so want to move on. I really stumbled over this one. Thank you so much for all of your help, support, comfort, encouragement and validation. I am feeling so much better. This was a hard one for me.

I would like to become a person who does not take this personally.