Are You Buying Your Therapist A Christmas Gift?

[Lucycat]

For the past 2 years I have given my T a wee christmas gift. Just something that made sense but was a bit silly.

He has taken them away to open at Christmas and then texted me a thankyou and a bit of humour. I don't know about this year. The previous gifts jumped out at me, but nothing has yet this time.

 

[p-no]

I give something to my t whenever I feel like it. Used to do that with other ts, too. For Christmas, I did some baking, typical German stuff. I made some for her as well.

Before, I gave her flowers once, a booklet another time. Muffins, too. The muffins ended up in her husband giving me some cake back, lol.

I think it isn't about being client and therapist, but people.

The other day I had surgery. The aneasthesist (sp?) was incredibly great. She is going to get a package from me with a long letter. I had asked my t what she thought about me giving that to the doctor. My t said she'd suppose she'd go crazy with joy! Although that may be a bit exaggerated (lol), I think that yes, the doctor will fully understand and appreciate it very much. She did everything right with me the day of the surgery and there's no way I am not going to not let her know how much healing that has brought me -- from a complete stranger.

Go for it! :)

 

[Smushroom]

I give something to my t whenever I feel like it.

Well, now that I think of it prime-no, i have given her a few things throughout the year. Just simple little things I thought she would like, and things that I thought of when I saw her. I felt weird about it then too, but I guess Christmas is a little different. I hate how christmas is so over-commercialized. You are expected to give gifts and spend up big because it's 'Christmas'. I don't like that. I don't know, I was just worried.

I think it isn't about being client and therapist, but people.

Exactly. Very true. Thank you for giving me another way to think of it.

I think that is a lovely idea to give your Dr a gift. Nurses, Dr's, anaesthetists etc often don't get a lot of thanks. It will certainly brighten their day :)

 

[Britt.f7]

I think that yes, the doctor will fully understand and appreciate it very much.

When my mom died, I made up decorative boxes with various kinds of wrapped candy and delivered it to the ICU, the ICU waiting area receptionist, and the nurses who took care of my mom during the catherization. Those nurses even went up the next day or two to the ICU to check on her.

We really wanted to show our appreciation. A lot of times the medical field has to deal with cranky, scared patients. They enjoy getting nice, appreciative patients. Prime-no, I think that is a great idea for you to do. Especially since the anesthesiologist doesn't get much credit.:)

 

[Smushroom]

Ok, now we've decided it seems ok to give a small gift, what the heck am I going to write on the card?!? Oh dear...another thing to stress over today!

 

[p-no]

Express your feelings, if you can. I guess mine (edit: my cards) are very honest and very personal. No-one ever reacted in a bad way but very much appreciated what I wrote. They know you don't have to do this but do it because you want to! If you don't want to write a card, don't. You are going to give the gift to your t in person, I suppose? If so, do you need a card? A smile will do, and a little "Just because I wanted to. Merry Christmas." :)

 

[Lucycat]

"Just because I wanted to. Merry Christmas." :)

That is what I would write in a card - smiley and all!!

 

[Smushroom]

You are going to give the gift to your t in person, I suppose?

No, I am doing the chicken thing and leaving it outside her door. I would find it too awkward. She has mentioned that she really loves the cards she receives from clients, and I like the idea of telling her exactly how much I appreciate everything she has done for me. I think I almost ran out of room on last year's christmas card! I am very much a 'boundary' person, so never write anything with 'Dear (name)' or 'Love (name)' or 'From (name)' I simply write her name and my name, thats it. I know she is not a friend and don't want to come across as thinking that.

I don't see it any different to giving a gift to my normal GP. I buy her a little something small every year and a nice card.

 

[TLight]

I don't know. Hate to be the negative one, but this brings up a bad experience for me regarding crossed boundaries.
I had a therapist for a few years. Now that I think back, she talked a little too much about herself sometimes...not sure what she was trying to get across, possibly harmless.

Then she got sick with Parkinson's and closed her practice. Called me to her house and said in her thirty years of practice, my life was about the worse she'd heard. then she gave me her mother's wedding ring because she thought I was going to get married. I was appreciative and touched, but it came with the clause of not telling my other therapist cause it was against the rules.

then, after several months of this guy not proposing, she called me several times asking if I'd done anything with the ring. I said, what? am I supposed to force him into proposing? If you want the ring back, just say so.

She said that the gift meant alot to her and wanted to make sure it was being used properly.

We did eventually get married and used the diamond from the ring. But after that it was ruined, didn't even want to use it, felt like the several 'weird' phone calls after our therapy was done was like talking to my guilt tripping mother.......really did some damage. I wanted to sever the relationship after her practice was over and move on, but she called and called. It was too weird for me and I told her several times, yet she continued to call.
Told this to several other Ts and they were literally shocked and felt bad for me. I felt violated, manipulated and guilt tripped over the edge. Really bad.

So there's my two cents about getting emotionally involved with a T. No harm in telling or showing them you appreciate their work, but on a personal level, I'd say that's a no no.

 

[Smushroom]

I'm sorry that happened Tlight, I agree, I think that is a little odd as well. Did she have anyone else in her life? Maybe she was lonely and reaching out as she needed someone as she got more sick. Not appropriate at all, I agree.

But I feel this situation is a little different. I am not that emotionally involved with my T, and she knows how strict I am with boundaries (it should be the other way, shouldn't it?) The gift I have bought her is nothing personal, it has no special meaning to me or to her, and it isn't a family heirloom or anything like that. It is just something I know she will enjoy, and is simply to show her my appreciation, along with writing out a card to tell her how I feel.

 

[faraway]

I've been wondering if this is appropriate too. I was thinking about baking him something. Nothing much, just something small. I dunno.

 

[Smushroom]

I like that idea faraway. As someone else mentioned above, they then have the option of sharing with their other colleagues or family. i recently came across a home made gift i thought was lovely. In a jar, you put all the ingredients in to make cookies, but you layer it all nicely and decorate the jar with ribbon/gift tag/home made label. It really looked lovely, and had that special 'personal' touch to it.