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Astrology & Other Esoterics

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@Lumos

I would become so absorbed in it and it helped push out negative stuff
Yea a lot of these practices have helped me to connect with stuff that I found positive, useful and run with it. In that sense it's helped to anchor me a bit
Do you still draw?

I feel I lost a lot of myself in the relationship
I think this can happen even in relationship with ourselves. Welcome home eh:)

How do you feel Virgo aspect impacts your relating? How do you feel like it interacts with CPTSD, if at all

Hope you will excuse the questions...and it doesn't feel like an interrogation, just very curious:) And excited I have people to connect and exchange with around this
 
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I am thinking about the ways the esoteric shapes my life more than that discussed so far :).

I am an agnostic yoga practitioner who believes in ‘non pagan kitchen/ garden witchcraft’. Ie I think ritual and seasonality and connection to ‘bigger things’ are comforting. I notice things like phases of the moon and though I have not followed moon phase gardening the idea pleases me. I have two herb gardens/ one culinary and one medicinal - though both are somewhat sorry state. I feel ‘healthier in mind and spirit’ if I eat food seasonally, ethically and with some ritual of preparation, table laying involved rather than grabbing something ready made from the fridge. Nutrition - food being medicine - seems like a scientific ‘encompassing’ of kitchen Witchery that - takes a way a little of the sensory benefit. A cross section of both seems better to me.

I absolutely do not ‘believe’ in Tomten but - I still have want to leave something out for the house- to give back .


I also have found will for a lot of this is part of the ‘divorce from self’ I have undergone in suffering PTSD.

Putting cedarwood on my broom , annoiting my mattress with rosemary or burning bayleaves in my study feels - Redundant when I can barely bring myself to brush my teeth daily.
 
I am thinking about the ways the esoteric shapes my life more than that discussed so far :).
Thanks for adding dimensions

Nutrition - food being medicine - seems like a scientific ‘encompassing’ of kitchen Witchery that -
takes a way a little of the sensory benefit. A cross section of both seems better to me.

Well put. Engaging the sensory is medicine just as much as the rest

I also have found will for a lot of this is part of the ‘divorce from self’ I have undergone in suffering PTSD.
I can connect with some level of this statement
At times it's been hard for me to tell whether practices I've been engaging in are the trauma playing out. I just know there are some things that have remained useful to me, helped to locate me, whatever level of CPTSD I've been in. And others that have come about and/or accelerated when deep in the CPTSD realm and then dropped off again

Putting cedarwood on my broom , annoiting my mattress with rosemary or burning bayleaves in my study feels - Redundant when I can barely bring myself to brush my teeth daily.
I laughed (not at the state you described) and nodded so hard when I read this. At times I have felt like a portion of this stuff was absolute bullshit when I could hardly get out of bed. Yet there have been times when I could not manage to brush my teeth, feed myself properly but was able to do simple practices outside with a tree that really did helped me to come back into a relationship of care with myself. I sense it was something to do with co-regulation and internalising the good that I can experience engaging with nature

Thanks again for bringing this

@Mee above
 
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I also think that the reframing can help. ‘Housework’ can sound a bit boring. ‘Cleansing rituals’ sound kind of- more something to get enthusiastic about sometimes. It’s the same stuff with a reframe often. But if the reframe works for ME I’ll take it.

Right now it’s not working - that makes me really sad. Something that really sticks in my mind as a way to describe what has happened to me actually fits in how this ‘extra stuff’ expresses. Some one said that the perp didn’t physically hurt me and I said - no , he doesn’t have blood on his hands, but he has glitter on his hands.

The quiet joy the ritual of making a simple hot drink well could bring me was something beautiful and precious. Right now I cannot get back to it - It’s like climate change in my garden witchery.
 
It’s the same stuff with a reframe often. But if the reframe works for ME I’ll take it.
Yes can be

he doesn’t have blood on his hands, but he has glitter on his hands
This made me flinch. There is something of this that I get, unfortunately

The quiet joy the ritual of making a simple hot drink well could bring me was something beautiful and precious. Right now I cannot get back to it
I hope this is a season and that joy will return to you or be found in/through some other form

@Mee above
 
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helped me to connect with stuff that I found positive
I think that's great :)

I hardly ever draw these days. I used to love it too, was very therapeutic. I'm still trying to figure out why I hardly do it anymore. Feels like there is some invisible blockage of some kind.

I think this can happen even in relationship with ourselves. Welcome home eh:)
Yes that's true. I was always a person who needed a lot of alone time. When I couldn't have that so much I found it hard.

I haven't thought about it with regards to cptsd.

Oh, too critical, too fussy! Especially when I was younger. Not always and not so much now, I don't think. I feel like the Leo and Sagittarius parts are more *there* now. When I was younger that was another bit that didn't ring true - Flamboyant Leo, into drama and acting and all that. But now, yes, I see it :)

It's nice to be able to talk about it. I never really knew anyone who was into Astrology or similar topics.
 
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I think that's great :)

I hardly ever draw these days. I used to love it too, was very therapeuti
Yea I feel that way about painting. There was an art therapy studio I'd go to every Friday 2-5.30pm and just paint. Many years back. It really helped my writing too. Can relate to feeling a block around some things

I feel like the Leo and Sagittarius parts are more *there* now
Ah, for me the other way I am relating a lot less to the Leo. Can see it in creative practices, and needing to put my own signature/spin on things. Which, to be honest is annoying! I actually quite like to be behind the scenes. I don't know if that is part of the CPTSD reaction of hiding/evaporating, Scorpio influence, or it just suits me to do things where I am not the centre of attention but the thing I've created is

How are you expressing your Leonine energy these days?

It's nice to be able to talk about it
Yes I'm enjoying reading people different angles and views. It's nice to connect with more people on the forum too:)

@Lumos above
 
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I believe the abuse in childhood made me a very very quiet child. Looking back, I feel that was never the real me, someone shy and quiet. I was so fearful of everything. I'm more confident and determined now, generally try not to hide away so much.

It's annoying to have a blockage on something which is normally therapeutic! I might try to draw a bit today/this week. It made me feel I had some kind of a strength too when I used to do it. :)
 
Shamanic journeying is esoteric.....now that I think about it. I guess I'm an energy believer....and the foundations of journey work (core shamanism) has really helped me connect with myself internally and make how I feel about myself much more positive. Understanding the medical aspect of CPTSD, structural dissociation, reading research, was just one part of the healing process...But my personal journey using Shamanic journey practices has been so very helpful w parts work, help w internal communication, consensus building, that sort of thing. In shamanism, they believe in retrieving lost soul parts. I like this idea....because that is what I feel has been stolen from me....parts of my soul. Finding, accepting and healing these parts....has been super helpful with symptom control and I'm much happier now, after journeying for a couple of years.
 
Shamanic journeying is esoteric.....now that I think about it. I guess I'm an energy believer....and the foundations of journey work (core shamanism) has really helped me connect with myself internally and make how I feel about myself much more positive. Understanding the medical aspect of CPTSD, structural dissociation, reading research, was just one part of the healing process...But my personal journey using Shamanic journey practices has been so very helpful w parts work, help w internal communication, consensus building, that sort of thing. In shamanism, they believe in retrieving lost soul parts. I like this idea....because that is what I feel has been stolen from me....parts of my soul. Finding, accepting and healing these parts....has been super helpful with symptom control and I'm much happier now, after journeying for a couple of years.

I am also into this approach. Mainly expressed, for me through music, dance, connecting with nature, at times I have used ethnobotanicals, and yes, have experienced "Soul Retrieval" (also have a great book on the subject). It's a great lens, a great tool, for healing. I wanted to do more, do workshops, visit a shaman and learn with her, in my area, but so far, that hasn't happened.

I, very much, experience, my own "Shamanic nature" when I express myself musically. I do "journey" through sound, through musical "channelling" in a sense and through writing, at times. I have a piece of writing, which is actually, describing retrieval of a piece of me, of a very damaged part I me I retrieved from an astral underworld. It's quite a powerful piece. A fellow mental health peer worker used it in a mental health acute setting/clinic for her work.

I maybe, should find it and put it up on this site, some day.

It's cool to find another interested and into this arena @TruthSeeker :) It's something that really has my heart and interest, is sharmanic healing and journeying. I find myself in this "state" when dancing, and, did, for many years as a, reggae and "tribal" dancer, I call it "ecstatic dance" but, I have become a recluse and no longer go out and express this side of me.

One day, I will meet other's and get more into it, but, for now, various art forms and living close to nature, are how I express this side of myself.
 
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