Attachment to/Transference with Therapist

[Kubash16]

I forgot to answer your question Eve. Have I ever had a professional relationship?

So, yes of course, in terms of the cashier at the store, or a boss.

Nothing that even comes close to resembling a therapist/client relationship. This is my first experience.

The boss/cashier relationships are of course cold. How would they not be? The furthest they go is a hi how are you that neither of us mean.

But, I’m not just saying hi how are you to my therapist. He’s getting a level of intimacy that isn’t given to anyone else, so I don’t know how that could be kept cold like I do with the others in a professional sense. Boundaries are kept, they are clear and there isn’t any give on them so am I so wrong to feel warmer towards him within those set boundaries?

Like how do you explain some really nitty gritty stuff to your grocery store cashier?

 

[Emotional girl]

When a person gives their story as a reply it doesn't mean that they are in exactly the same position as you they are just saying how transference has affected them.
There are different types of transference which come out in therapy and none of them make you a freak and I am sorry you feel that way.
Therapy can be complicated it throws up different feelings and emotions and some of it is about learning to deal with these and how they relate to your past and future.
Sorry if we misread the situation as well,sometimes if there are a lot of long posts then it is difficult to keep up and concentrate on reading the situation.
I hope that you sort out your transference and don't feel so alone.

 

[Kubash16]

I really appreciated your input @Emotional girl and gives me some hope. It just feels like they are saying I shouldn’t be feeling anything but I feel so much. But I fully recognize that it is transference and I fully recognize where the feelings originated from, which is why I’m frustrated at some of the responses because it feels like I’m in the wrong for that and that I shouldn’t be feeling anything and that I should get out of T’s office where I won’t have anyone to work on this with.

 

[grit]

The fact you are talking about this is part of the healing. Wishing you well soon.

 

[Kubash16]

The fact you are talking about this is part of the healing. Wishing you well soon.

Thank you.

 

[Deleted member 47099]

I think you're doing great work and you're aware of the issues and you're NOT a freak and I believe you and your T are totally going to figure this out :hug: :hug:

(But I'm biased cos I like you and believe in you and cos the things you've shared about your T make him sound professional and caring)

I hope the thread/ the forum comes through for you and gives you the hope and support you deserve as you work so hard on your issues!! :hug:

 

[Kubash16]

I think you're doing great work and you're aware of the issues and you're NOT a freak and I believe you and your T are totally going to figure this out :hug::hug:

(But I'm biased cos I like you and believe in you and cos the things you've shared about your T make him sound professional and caring)

I hope the thread/ the forum comes through for you and gives you the hope and support you deserve as you work so hard on your issues!! :hug:

Thank you. :hug:

And no, for those concerned, me responding like this ^^ does not mean besties or that I’m only considering her input. ??

 

[Deleted member 47099]

So, yes of course, in terms of the cashier at the store, or a boss.

The boss/cashier relationships are of course cold. How would they not be? The furthest they go is a hi how are you that neither of us mean.

When I work in situations like this, I do not say "hi" in a cold or fake way... Also, if say the customer has forgotten their purse in the car... I'd giggle cos OMG I've done that too and I'd help them put the groceries to one side and tell them not to worry and go get their purse while I serve the next customer.

I think that's professional and NOT cold.

Sure, some people can be cold. But it's not a necessity. Everyone can fill their professional role with genuine friendliness and compassion - even though it's professional and appropriate-to-the-situation friendliness and compassion...

 

[Deleted member 47099]

Thank you. :hug:

And no, for those concerned, me responding like this ^^ does not mean besties or that I’m only considering her input. ??

WHAT TO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT MY BESTIE :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :laugh: :P :hug:

 

[Kubash16]

Lol I mean we could be if ya wanna lol. It’s just hilarious because of the insecurity/transference that happened yesterday over the email thing. I wasn’t feeling very bestie-ish lol. But that’s not your, Chrissy, or T’s fault that I have those moments. They are my issue and I recognize that.

I mean, okay, so I’m not mean or anything when greeting someone. I guess I see it as cold because we aren’t going to share anything more than surface stuff. T isn’t going to share any more than surface stuff either of course, but I have to so I see that as warmer. Especially since he’s designed to listen to that sharing over and over. I don’t know if that makes sense.

 

[Deleted member 47099]

Lol I mean we could be if ya wanna lol. It’s just hilarious because of the insecurity/transference that happened yesterday over the email thing. I wasn’t feeling very bestie-ish lol. But that’s not your, Chrissy, or T’s fault that I have those moments. They are my issue and I recognize that.

We're good Kubash :hug:

Let's try and keep this thread semi-on-track... :laugh: :facepalm:

 

[knuckles]

I find so many threads/posts in here making me ponder/wonder/question how I relate to myself, others and my life in general. Many times I am not able to put into words what the effects of the posts are - not able to reply with anything meaningful. I don't have enough grasp on these things yet. But I do get a lot of mental workout which I appreciate.

This is one of those posts @Kubash16

I am not able to add anything of value; no insights or personal experiences that I can adequately put into words. But your post touches something in me. Something resonates, and I am following to see how you and others reflect on this aspect of therapy.

So thank you for posting.

And let me direct you to post #52 where Eva clearifies that professional does not equal cold in regards to her question. Before you go too far down a sidetrack that doesn't seem to be intented :)