Avoidance Due Anxiety

[Sazza]

Is it just me or does anyone else get anxious and worked up when people knock at the door or phone? If I'm in alone I always have the door locked. I recently started answering phone as have caller display so can see who ringing. However never answer door unless expecting or know who is.

Some blokes just been knocking at door sales men I think they knew was in as seen me through window when knocking at someone elses. As soon as seem them head my way I hide In back room but they came back think gone now but I'm sat I'm corner back room not wanting go check and move.

Sirens really unsettle me to thought got over that but last couple days again seem to be bringing things back understandable but it worries me as can't avoid noise sirens and when go back work be even worse.

Just having a rant again my gone into overdrive.

 

[OKRADLAK]

Terrified. Because of what happened to me, there were officers of law involved. Once, a few came to the door just to ask about a neighbor in adjoining flat. I started to shake and hyperventilate to such an extent that when I opened the door one of them asked me if I was OK. My hands were visably shaking and I was breathing hard.

 

[Crl1983]

Hi Sazza. Yes, I get the same thing. People think I'm weird because I always have to keep the doors locked, even during the day when I'm in the front room. I even bought those double-sided key-lock deadbolts for all the doors, so no one can get in or out without a key. If someone comes selling things I don't answer the door, and if someone comes with a package I hide and wait til they leave so they will just leave it at the door. When someone is approaching the door I turn off the t.v. and anything else indicating someone is home and hide to where I can see outside but they can't see me. I also have caller i.d. and never answer if I don't know who is calling. If a number I don't recognize calls I always have to go and look it up online to try and find out who it was or why they would be calling me. I hate sirens as well, they give me the chills and disorient me and I automatically tear up when I hear ambulance sirens.

 

[kimba]

I have a gate across my driveway and a locked door to my porch so nobody can get in without calling first. My doors are always locked as well. I also have two good sized dogs and a sign on my gate which tells people they may be on the other side of the fence so nobody is foolish enough to try coming in my yard. If I am expecting a delivery, i know what day and will leave the porch unlocked so they can deliver it, but door to house itself is kept locked. Caller ID and I don't answer unless I know who it is.

 

[KP the nut]

I have a sign saying I do not buy from door to door sales people, it was issued by West mercia Police and it does have an impact.

I never answer the door even if I am in the lounge and they can see me. They get the message and the fact that the dogs act like the most ferocious beasts helps. So what if they think me odd - it is my house and I choose to whom I will answer the door.

In the past I have answer the door with said dog, I am holding his collar and allowing him to bark, he sounds great even if he would do nothing worse than present most callers with a teddy.

 

[Srain]

I have never felt weird about not answering my door or phone if I don't want to, for the most part. My friends have always known this is how I am, if someone has a problem with it and is a "just drop by without calling" they soon learn that's not how I roll, walk, or umm waddle :ninja:. My view is it's my phone and unless you pay for it I'll answer it when I want to, the same goes for my door.

After living in some questionable neighborhoods I have learned that just answering the door to anyone is not such a great idea. I have done what KP does with my Big Girl, answer with her sitting by my side and the person's eyes go directly to this silent dog whose eyes are glued to them. She is quite the looker and though calm, she is makes me feel much better. Sometimes I answer with her at heel and I'll have pepper spray in hand. Other times I simply talk through the door if at all. I want some people to know I'm at home in case they are checking to see if some of the homes are empty during the day. I'm just suspicious like that.

I do get the "paranoias" as well and the sound sirens can totally unnerve me as we have a fire station close by. I can get so that it might be easy to hide in the bedroom with my phone shut off in a major freak out. This is where telling on myself is such a freeing thing. It might be embarrassing but at least it can help break me out of a cycle. No, you are not alone in this, however, there is that thin grey line of protecting yourself and going too isolation land, I think, at least for me.

Rain

 

[Gamereign555]

Yeah I get you there, what is even worse is when I'm just about to fall asleep when the phone rings right next to me, it's like an explosion went off or something. Not so much paranoia with me, more alertness I guess. I seem to be sensitive to sudden sounds like 'thuds' or whatnot.

 

[anni]

Hi Sazza and yes, as you see this is awfully familiar. I had to smile at the post about going to see who on earth was calling via a Google search- do the same thing. I have a dreadful, dreadful phone phobia but think allowed it to get worse through the years. This avoidance thing does grow-kind of manages to get tentacles by associations or something. It probably depends on one's personal life-it's simply ridiculous for me personally to not answer the phone with kids out in the world, parents ill,customers to speak to etc.Having this phone avoidance thing-well, wish I'd worked on it sooner. I am now- it's a struggle daily. Answering the door is another story- will work on one thing at a time and salesmen have no business cold calling these days. Also have an impossibly large dog who pretends he'd love a late salesman breakfast if only I let go of his collar. Anyway, I do think all this is as normal as anything else with this. It's just that if we're required to also have some kind of functioning 'out there', at some point it's a good idea to ask the T about addressing the whole thing, you know? They will doubtless suggest ways to have you begin doing things which feel uncomfortable-but when it's possible it really is better than letting it get too ingrained as I did, that's all.

Do take care,

Anni

 

[Nighthawk]

I can not bring myself to answer the door unless I know whi is coming over and even then I am scared out of my mind when the front door is used. As far as phones go I canceled my home phone to avoid all calls. As Anni said there are things that can be done to help the fall out of anxiety. Hard work and the want to live without the fear. I am not one to talk I have made progress in some areas but in others I think I have gotton worse.

Good luck

NH

 

[scott_1971_h]

I can't stand answering the phone. Even just it ringing makes me jump out of my skin.

 

[Sazza]

Thanks lovely people for your replies nice to know your not alone, although i wish you all did not have to suffer like we do.

Scott i am same answering phone, i will not answer unless know who it is, even then i don't like answering. I am the same making calls although i am gradually overcoming this. I don't really like talking on phone unless its with people i know really well and have known for some time. With regards to the google of numbers i to do this if number shows up i don't know.

Anni no T to ask at the moment therapy is the next step i think now the medication is underway. Thanks again everyone.

 

[Venator]

It all leads to the same reaction with me - sudden anger. If someone knocks and won't go away, I feel like exploding completely. I have a fear of opening doors for strangers, though I've been known to take in Mormon missionaries and play video games with them (that's a long story!!) I also get really nervous when I have to answer the phone at work. I'm scared someone will be on the other end to yell at me.