General Bad News For Hubby

[amethist]

Hubby went out this morning and was out longer than expected, it was only when he finally got home that I found out why.

He went to see his dad on Thursday, but was not happy with what he was told about his dads health.

We have known for quite a while now that he has Prostate cancer, which went untreated for quite a while, because he dad refused to acknowledge that he had it.

For the last year or more he has been taking tablets to keep it in check and as far as we knew it was doing the trick.

Today after asking questions of his dad he found out that the medication is no longer doing what it is intended to do and the cancer is progressing. this has now got to the point of possibly being un operable and it will be just a case of keeping it as slow as possible in the future progression, and being that he is now 80, operating would be too risky because of his other health issue.

Basically they are just keeping him going for a s long as possible until the cancer does its worst.

Hubby has not taken this very well at all, and is worried that he will not have much longer to be with his dad.

The crunch will come when his dad tells him it is "Party Time" as this will be the signal that he has not got much time left, so they will go out together and have one last blast.

I have told him it could be a couple of years before he gets to that point and it is up to hubby to make sure he is as well as he possibly can be, for when that day comes.

 

[myvetswife]

So sorry to hear that. My father in law died of cancer when he was 56. He kept it quiet till it was too late. They told him he had 6 weeks. He fought for 6 months. It had a big effect on my husband as we could not be there in his last hours because we live in a different country.

 

[Venusian]

((((Amethist)))), I am so sorry your family is going through this. I felt so helpless when I got the news about a family member. Please take care of yourself while you are taking care of the rest of your family.

 

[The Albatross]

Sad news Amethist. My grandfather's prostate cancer was managed with injections when the pill form medications didn't work. Perhaps that is an option?

I know though that this matter will be pressing for your husband. I hope there is time for much more relationship for your mister and his father.

 

[KP the nut]

(((Amethist & Hubby))). I'll be thinking of you all. It is hard when this happens. I think I was lucky, we found out my Mum had cancer on the Friday. I saw her on the Saturday and stayed. Then she died on the Sunday.

Shocking, yes. Devastating, yes. But we were all spared a lingering, painful time.

I'll light a candle.

 

[Bilby]

I'm so sorry to hear that Amethist, that's very sad news.

 

[Whitneys story]

((((((((((Amethist N Hubby))))))))))

Maybe they could have some small parties, it might be difficult waiting on the unknown. His dad may withhold the outcome which could really affect hubby.

I am so sorry you have the added situation. You two do not deserve this. Whitney

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am sorry about your news Amethist. For you and your husband...:hug:

 

[amethist]

Thanks everyone.

Hubby is coping the best he can right now and is pottering about in his garage sorting stuff out that still needs sorting from the old shed he had.

Because we knew about the Prostate cancer, hubby has already been screened for it and nothing is showing up, so he is clear.

Just have to keep going and hope the end it later rather than sooner.

 

[nursenurse]

Prostate cancer is one of the slower ones out there.

I pray that your hubby is able to see this as a gift of time. So many people are taken away from their loved ones without a chance to say good bye, or without that little bit of extra time to spend with them had we known they were going to die.

It is a difficult time, but I pray all of you will find peace and joy in the time remaining.

 

[amethist]

Neither of us slept very well last night with all of this, and today hubby seems to be coping OK, though he is running on high adrenaline again.

Maybe this is his way of coping with it all for now. I just hope he does not burn himself out.

I pray that your hubby is able to see this as a gift of time.

We have been looking at it like that for a while nursenurse, the problem is that his dad knew about it years ago and did nothing about it. Now it has got to stage of being progressive.

 

[nursenurse]

It's always a shock when you are slapped with the finality of something. It's going to be hard, but take your cues from you father in law. It sounds so trite, but it is so true, that everyday is a gift. I can say that because I see it everyday I work. Work at making happy memories, dying does't always have to be about the sorrow.

My Ma was in palliative care for 6 months. she was supposed to have died before she hit the three month mark. I don't think God would have known what to do with her. At any rate, she spent her 87th and final birthday there. While she was there, she frequently spoke about her Springtime Chiffon Cake that she used to make for her ladies' prayer group. It was the talk of the town, so to speak, and is still one of my favourite cakes to this day. After hearing her talk about this cake pretty much all of the time, I decided to make it for her. We had a lovely little celebration, my brother, sister in law, my niece and nephew (and the body in the bed beside her, that's another story, but I was amused. A medical thing.). Lit the candle, had her blow it out. then she tasted the cake, and wrinkled her nose. I was thinking what did I forget? It tasted exactly like hers - she was known, however, for doctoring her recipes and conveniently forgetting her improvements. Her answer to my query "What's wrong with it?" "It's not chocolate." I still laugh to this day. It will be 2 years on Wednesday when God finally let her in. I hope He has lots of chocolate there for her :D