EveHarrington - You are on the money and that was proven. We just had a huge blowout over me questioning the way she was treating me in public and instead of apologizing she went even deeper into the insult well and pulled out what I am sure she was wanting to say all along. She picked the one topic she knew would hit me the hardest and used it. I must say that I didn't react well and just basically went on a tirade of name calling to try to hit a nerve and I seemed to have accomplished that because now she is asking for a divorce. I cannot say I am shocked. I knew this was coming. I couldn't keep taking all of this abuse and just going back to being her lap dog this time. I am not sure if this talk of divorce will last long as usually she will end up just trying to make me agree to do huge things and buy stuff and then use that later down the line if I fail to deliver. I am still wanting this to work but I see no way for it to, especially after all of the things said. I know I cut bone but to me I feel like she severed a body part.
Justmehere - We are not in therapy. I tried on my own and explained my past as well as my relationship and my therapist told me that this was unhealthy but I was not willing to listen at that time.
Gamera3000 - I am sorry for your loss. I do not think that cleaning changed me either but I know it did affect me very much. One thing I must note is that I do not think this is a rough spot. Rough spots usually don't last several years to me. The thing I think that was not made clear is that I am the one that always does the nice little things. I have had to talk with her several times as even just asking me to do something instead of telling me or saying please and thank you are rare to hear from her. I cook, I clean, I do laundry, I take out trash/recycling, go get groceries, go get carry out or fast food, put gas in the cars, clean the cars, take care of the pets, give massages, do dishes, put groceries away, drop off/pickup the kid from school, drive to meet for lunch and so on. To be completely honest, I do not think that there is much else I can do without just throwing caution to the wind and buying a new car or a vacation or something and at this point that is surely not going to happen. The only time she will show appreciation for any of these things is if I look visibly upset after waiting a long enough period of time and not hearing a thank you for it. Small things I don't care about but when I am woken up at 11:30 PM and told (not asked) to get pick up food from a place that closes in 30 minutes and then not thanked or even acknowleged or even talk to after, I tend to get a bit snippy.
I was recently told that I should be happy to do these things because she is beautiful and if I wanted someone to do those things that I should have married an ugly or fat women. When she was asked to help out with the bills she told me if she has to pay bills then why is she even with me. I don't think there is anything that can fix that. I usually just walk away and smoke or go work out but lately even those things have been a point of conflict. When I go workout she finds ways to upset me (usually by saying I can't go because she thinks I am having an affair). Usually after hearing that I just stay home to avoid fighting because even though I know she doesn't really think that, she will play it out until the morning time just to get me to follow her wishes.
