Being Honest With Your Doctor

[Broken Dave]

Sometimes it is difficult for me to be honest with my Doctors. When I first started seeing my first Psychiatrist in the Army it was very difficult for me to be honest about my feelings. The reason I joined the Army in the first place was to have an "edge" against other applicants when applying for an FBI/Police job when I finished my military career; the last thing I wanted was a diagnosis of a mental disorder. I wasn't honest with my doctors about how severe my depression or that I had suicidal thoughts in fear of being 5150'd (involun psychiatric hold) which is a question that is asked on almost every background check in the United States.

I now realize with my history of PTSD and Substance Abuse I will almost never have a Law Enforcement job or any job that conducts a background investigation.

These days I try to be honest with my doctors. I wish instead of being asked the same questions every visit I would be given a survey in the waiting room, as my answers will always be more honest if I don't have to look at them in the eye.

I think a lot of people with PTSD would benefit from their doctors communicating by email etc.

Warmly,
Dave

 

[arfie]

I went straight from the street life of a throw-away kid to the Army Signal Corps. When my first duty commander wanted to put me in for high level security clearances, I had an anxiety meltdown over the many many's I had done in order to survive teenage street life. The commander listened intently and responded after I had finished, "I want to submit the clearance any way. If the investigation matches what You told me, we will take it from there." I was awarded the clearance and he later told me, "We knew. Your street smarts are what we were after. Your honesty cinched it."

That was 1974 and the CYA takeover and profiling passion has grown considerably, but there are still out-of-the-box thinkers in the system. Don't limit your career options to mainstream assumptions.

But for now, focus on healing. Honesty facilitates healing more than any single quality I know of.

 

[nursenurse]

I understand how difficult it must be for you to talk to your healthcare professionals. Over and over and over again, ad nauseum. I am so happy that you are trying to be honest with your doctors. No one can truly help you unless you lay it all out.

You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. And if they don't get it, I know it's hard, but you move on until you find someone who does. If you ever questioned a medical doctor's findings, or you somehow didn't click, you would ask for a second opinion, or look for someone else. I hate the way mental illness is stigmatized. It is a group of disorders that warrant as much care and compassion as does kidney disease, diabetes, even cancer. And it needs to be in the open.

You are not crazy, and you are not a second class citizen because of what you have been through, and its lasting ramifications. You have suffered greatly in your life, and in no way was anything your fault. Damn the folks who did what they did to you, and those who pretended to care and cover things up. Honesty and transparency to those purported to assist you is the only way out. Someone will listen somewhere, and I pray that you will have the fortitude to continue until you obtain what is yours by your very humanity. Peace within yourself.

I for one will be rooting for you. Welcome to these forums, you are among friends :)

 

[Broken Dave]

Thank you very much for the support! I hope to help other people who are in similar situations!

 

[greenleaf]

Thank you for posting this, yes, it is helpful -- as a kid I hid what was going on at home from doctors who were probably suspicious of abuse. I never identified it as distrust at the time, it just seemed totally necessary. I think I still have a bubble with those emotions and attitudes that partly envelopes me at times -- hearing peoples' (mostly?) positive experiences is helpful. "Normal" medical stuff is ok for me, but I think that something where I feel vulnerable, like in pain or where the ptsd is definitely involved so it would help if I mentioned it, gets that bubble active.

 

[nursenurse]

Even those of us (me included) without PTSD can have trouble opening up about things. I think it is human nature. We have a certain persona that we want to expose, and anything that makes us feel vulnerable can also makes us feel weak. Weak is not a good feeling, so vulnerability gets lumped in there because they seem to go hand in hand and therefore we just don't want to talk about it. Distrust is an issue as well, but I think it is important to have someone you feel comfortable with, eventually when the time is right you will disclose. No one says it has to happen right away, but then it isn't good to get into a pattern of non disclosure either. A good doctor/therapist knows this, and regardless, has to earn your trust and ease you along to the painful parts.

 

[Seasounds]

Sorry for your disappointment, between you employment goals and your psychological condition. A certain kind of heartbreak-of dreams not being so available, for sure. You are coming from a culture that often judges and denies mental health concerns, harshly; it breeds denial, and self-hatred, which makes it challenging to honest, and to be yourself-something needed for sanity and happiness.

Reading your post got me thinking, that you are probably in good company, on this Forum. At first, honesty is hard-it changes everything. Secondly, speaking for myself, I needed to adjust my life plans, when my symptoms manifested. Adjusting is part of being able to manage symptoms, on a daily basis. My condition, also, got in the way, and drastically altered my life plans.

What we do with the 'monkey wrench' is a creative response, unique to each of us. Certainly, honesty is a good first step. It opens up unconditional kindness and acceptance, towards yourself. You get to choose who, when, and how much. It doesn't need to be a psychiatrist, it doesn't need to be on insurance. Take your time, do it your way.

Arfie gave a good example of how "another person's floor becomes another person's ceiling". I could add that the insight and psychological knowledge that I have gained, from dealing with my condition, has give me 'an edge' in working with the general public. Your own healing could become an advantage for you, too. Discovering how it can benefit you will probably come with time.

I hope you get to spend time with people who have gone through what you are experiencing. You are a good person! Thank you.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I agree that surveys in the waiting room are a good tool. The first time I admitted I was abused the therapist just stared at me and didn't say a word. It took me years before I could admit it again, and it was in a waiting room survey that I was able to disclose the abuse.

I don't agree with previous implications that background security checks are part of a mental health stigma though. There's a reason why those background checks are performed and if a few people who are otherwise capable of such jobs are excluded, I see it as a necessary evil in order to keep the public safe.

 

[Woof]

In and during my abuses, I learned that "Self Disclosure Kills" and simply "Trust No One"....and this worked....for a period of time. Then there came a time (35 years after the fact) when this strategy no longer worked.

My dreams and aspirations had already been dashed and destroyed...that was not what I feared. I feared and often still fear being locked up. Not that i do anything wrong....I didnt do anything wrong as a teenager. In fact, if I was guilty of anything, it was of being a teenager. As the Queen song says; "I did my sentence but committed no crime"....all in the name of love a therapy.

One HUGE problem with that...How am I to trust those in a therapeutic setting?

I was also in the military, US Navy, Submarine Corp...I once had a Top Secret Security Clearance. My past history was waved, as I was a "teenager".....but once the symptoms manifested...whole new story. I was bounced because I "disclosed" my history....Go Figure.

But, one thing I learned during this, was: "A clear and present Need to Know"...essentially, being very selective with whom I share my most intimate details with. As I have aged, I have become much more lax in who and what I tell. I have nothing to loose by telling my story...and in some instances, I have everything to gain. Obviously, I don't blabber my story to just anyone who will listen...there are consequences for that.

There came a time when I literally became desperate....I could either evade and actively resist the help I so desperately wanted/needed....or I can simply lay all my cards out on the table.....Yes, it feels as if I handed them the razor blade and exposed my throat to them. Terrifying! Yet, when I look at it, objectively....they have not slit my throat, they have not locked me up....if anything, I have found an enormous amount of compassion (which was another story on new experiences)

I think it is not necessarily being hyper-vigilant in being selective. I have reasons for not disclosing everything at once. Those measures are like dissociation in a sense, these "skills" were developed in such a way as to protect me....and yes, they served me well...but I have learned those skills are not the only tools in my tool box. I wish you...

Much Peace
Woof