Betrayed Wives Being Diagnosed With Ptsd

[Gs172003]

What I meant to say, cheating at minimal for most, but given the addiction, more for many. Did not mean t...

The way it's being said is the discovery of the addiction was the trauma.
My second husband was also an addict. He was also abusive because of it. And that is all I'm going to say about it.

 

[Friday]

It was the husbands that discussed in the group that their wives had been diagnosed

And what you described is abuse.

Cha. That's probably a very good point, right there. While I think a lot of us are f*cking jaded over "I stubbed my toe & have PTSD", & bullshit mail order counselors who don't have the legal or ethical ability to diagnose "diagnosing" people with PTSD for stubbed toes :rolleyes: ... Just like most alcoholics aren't rapists, but some rapists are also alcoholics? Some of the men who have cheated on their wives may very well also be -or have been- abusing them.

What. I. Wouldn't. Give. To have a box of popcorn & a view of the room if THAT question came up in group. :sneaky:

 

[Gs172003]

Cha. That's probably a very good point, right there. While I think a lot of us are f*cking jaded over "...

They also have a group for the wives of said husbands. I've never been and won't go. Have no desire to. But yeah, it would be.

 

[Gs172003]

Just to clarify...women are not allowed in the group my husband tells me what is said.

 

[Anarchy]

actual or threatened death & sexual violence! I'm fine with all that! It's that my husband smiled at a waitress! Hello! Emotional affairs are the real trauma!). Sigh.

But Friday, it's all to do with the fantasies you had for your mother when she was breast feeding you, and for your father when you were sitting on the potty, and about you not having a dick... @ takes tongue out of cheek, before he gets flattened.

Different competing paradigms would interpret what's going on in very different ways

 

[Gs172003]

Cha. That's probably a very good point, right there. While I think a lot of us are f*cking jaded over "...

You making the alcoholics statement ( this is off subject but it hit me anyway) reminds me of my dad. He is / was a " functioning " alcoholic. He was also a jerk to women. (I dont know if he's even still alive). He believes women are to serve him in every fashion no matter what.
He told my sister something terrible he did to my mom and laughed about it but she won't tell me what. I get the feeling it has alot to do with the statement you made.

 

[Gs172003]

But Friday, it's all to do with the fantasies you had for your mother when she was breast feeding you,...

Freud?

 

[Anarchy]

Definitely not aimed at any forum member...

It's like the three umpires

1. " I calls it as I sees it"
2. "I calls it as it is"
3. "How I calls it IS how it is"

Hysteria/Railway spine/shell shock/PTSD "diagnoses" began like the first umpire, people observed that people who'd had bad things happen to them, had more or less similar difficulties with their lives jobs and relationships afterwards.

Once those difficulties are ( more or less well) noticed, described and shared about, it becomes like the second umpire, " oh, you get memories where you get dragged right back into a terrible moment, you avoid people and situations that might take you there, that be ( whatever it's called at the time and place)."

"Ok, you've got something that fulfills criterion A, you've got more than three out of five, or five out of seven of these... Oh, wait, no that isn't what the book says for criterion A, so regardless of any of the other stuff- you can't possibly have" would be the book as enshrining the third umpire's call, cause what he calls is what it is.


I'm not going to venture a guess about what the partners may or may not have, it's above my pay grade, I don't know them, haven't observed them... Don't know. Forced to guess what the third umpire (qua DSM V) would call, I'd go with Hodge and Ladee's observation that people with developmental trauma or pre existing PTSD can go for some really shitty men.

Third umpire ( qua little Viennese git) , perhaps he'd say that they envy their fathers penises...

Third umpire qua nineteenth century physician, speaking to someone who's been in a bad train crash; " the shock of the crash has damaged your spine, thats why you've got amnesia and these funny memories that keep taking you back to."

Third umpire, any time from ancient Egypt to the late nineteenth century, " your uterus has gone walkabout, you need to have lots of babies and housework to do".

In terms of the less prescriptive umpires one and two, Mingella, in the podcast that I linked to on the first page of the thread, says that he does observe a lot of difficulties similar to PTSD, amongst the partners of people with sexual acting out problems.

But we're still back to the problem of causation, was finding out that partner was sexually acting out the cause, an effect of, or a complete red herring?

People with traumatic pasts, frequently end up with subsequent traumas and frequently end up with shitty partners

If you've eaten a plate of beanz

Which individual bean was it that made you fart?

 

[Anarchy]

Freud?

Unfortunately

Now I'll be in trouble for quoting your whole post ;)

 

[Gs172003]

It's hard to say as other than the one person that said his wife works goes home and sleeps no symptoms were discussed.

 

[anthony]

When did this become a good thing to do?

The answer to that is simple, actually. Society bends to environmental pressures, and with the lack of war and conflict in the world today, the psychological community look to other areas to keep themselves in business.

It really is that simple. The industry themselves recognise this. Its not an excuse, but merely a fact of societal times. Don't blame the industry though either, because society themselves with the lack of true trauma surrounding them, find far lesser events as traumatic with the belief they're suffering as much as a veteran, rape victim, child abuse survivor, so forth.

The psychiatric community is looking to include these separately as future diagnoses, so people have their label, yet are not classifying themselves equally to those who suffer actual traumatic events at a significant scale.

Without war and conflict surrounding us, we the people simply cannot accurately gauge real trauma to validate or invalidate our own events.

 

[Gs172003]

The answer to that is simple, actually. Society bends to environmental pressures, and with the lack of war...

Interesting.