Thanks for your detailed response, it's good to hear you've been finding a path that's been helping you :) I've also been trying lots of new things in the last several months and trying to enjoy life and just have raw fun by myself every once in a while.
I've been walking through nature 40 minutes each day, at first I was forcing myself and it was a struggle, but now I really enjoy it and see it as the highlight of my day :) And I've started climbing trees, since that's one of the few things I genuinely liked doing in the past.
But I seem to have problems specifically with lots of people looking at me, that I guess makes sense now that I think about it, since one of my traumatic childhood experiences seems to be of getting raped while lots of people were watching me. I'm just starting to realise that this explains why I'm scared to be around lots of people and why I try to be so invisible. But since my PTSD symptoms are fairly subtle except for when I'm around lots of people potentially looking at me, I want to work on this directly rather than continue hiding from anywhere that has lots of people.
