Beware....the Proverbial Bullseye!! (with Re-write)

[lostforgottensoul]

@FridayJones :notworthy: Amen, Amen, and Amen!

 

[Deleted member 34535]

THE REWRITE:

I don't know about you, but the way my life has gone, I feel at times like I have a Bullseye T-Shirt on my back with the words, "Use Me and Abuse Me" under it. I rationalize it this way. When I had my traumas, whatever they were, All I wanted to do is please people. The reason for that for me was two-fold. I was scared to death, so if I did for others, they would not harm me. In my post traumatic state, I could not feel love. I was just too busy trying to survive and feel warmth and love, whether it was genuine or not.

So as I progress through my therapy and psychiatric care, I slowly begin to feel better. I got the medication that I will most likely need for the rest of my life. There will probably be some fine tuning along the way to get the chemistry part of the equation at it's optimum level. I have confronted and disposed of those who did me wrong. But there are still others that are still out there.

A personal example. The neighbor girl that pops in from time to time on a whim. Before I did not know, now I do. The neighbor girl states that she has a steady boyfriend. But still, she wants me to rub all over her. The neighbor girl knows exactly what she is doing. She knows and senses that I am lonely and longing for female companionship. She could care less about me rubbing all over her. She wants to raid my medication drawer like I am sure she did a few months ago. I know how much medication I have. I know how much surplus I have between refills instinctively. When my surplus disappears inexplicably, it is not hard to figure out why this happened.

But the people that still think they can use me do not realize that I know exactly what they are up to. They still think that I am the same old piece of crap that they can use and abuse at their own discretion. The neighbor girl came over a few nights ago. She asked me if I would rub her back. I said no way, you have a steady boyfriend and that would be wrong of me to do so. She asked if she could use the bathroom. I am sure she was hoping I moved my meds from the bedroom drawer to the bathroom. No such luck.

My point is that as I am progressing through my wellness plan, there will be those who used me in my old frame of mind. They do not know me as hopefully the new and improved version that I am. Have fun with them. Let them think they are getting over. And when the money question or move comes up, Cut them off at the knees. And smile as you are doing so.......................THE END......................................................

Now that I have done this rewrite, do I think it was necessary to do so. Folks, I don't do double work. I work too damn hard doing single work that to do double work. This was a complete and utter freaking wast of my time.

When I say or anybody else says "WE", two people can constitute a "WE". It is one of the plurals of the word "I". If someone says, "It has rained for two weeks, so we will be glad to see some sunshine." If there are just two people that agree with this statement, then the word "WE" will be an accurate statement.

To say, "Cut them off at the knees" is known by most reasonable people to simply mean take charge of the situation at hand. Did anyone seriously have the vision of me with a chain saw cutting people off at the knees. I have knees. I like knees, caps and all. I could have said, "Take the Bull By The horns." Same meaning, take charge of the situation at hand. Would anyone seriously think I meant to go out to a pasture, find a bull, and grab hold of it's horns.

I used the word we, rather than the word I because I am sharing. I am not a conceited eff who just wants to write to make himself feel good. I want to share things that may or may not help someone figure things out in their life. This thread had a very simple meaning. It may or may not have been likely people took advantage in our previous state. As we feel better and grow, they think they can still get over on us. It is incumbent on us to stop this bullshit and take charge as well as take pride in ourselves as survivors. Period.....end of conversation!!!!!!!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Now that I have done this rewrite, do I think it was necessary to do so. Folks, I don't do double work. I work too damn hard doing single work that to do double work. This was a complete and utter freaking wast of my time

I didnt see anyone advise to re-write the exisiting threads to say "I" instead of "we" but was more advising going foward.

One can only speak for themselves and "we" means everyone in this one group you are refering to and what is true for you isnt necessarly true for others. But still true for you which is more then enough.

 

[Sideways]

End of conversation?
Since you've posted in the 'Discussion' forum, I'll assume that's one of your comments that isn't meant to be taken literally;)

Thank you for the fairly macabre image of taking a chainsaw to your neighbour's legs (Eek!). If I'd thought that's what you meant yesterday, believe me when I tell you I'd have skipped straight past the empathy and recommended that you check yourself into hospital asap!

Sorry to hear you're in a bad headspace today - hope that passes:)

 

[Deleted member 541]

Quite honestly... I've read a few of your post and you scare me. You're all over the place, you seem paranoid, you blame everyone, you think people should turn gay when they are straight, and chain saws.... Seriously??? And you honestly believe that you are healing???

I think @Ragdoll Circus might have good advice about checking into the hospital......

 

[Neverthesame]

I wouldn't get to upset over it. It's not personal.

Been on this forum for a while now. Every time someone writes a post about anything, including we instead of I. It doesn't go over well. Hence why people are giving you the strong feedback about the way you wrote the last post.

If you really want to write about things using we, in lieu of I, you can. Just don't expect it to go over well. It will likely be received as a blanket statement.

Or you can use I, with most likely far better results. But it's up to you.

You can write anyway you want. Others can ask you to do different, you don't have to. At the same time, you can ask people read it differently, but they don't have to.

If that makes sense.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

To be truthful (ive been wanting to say this for a while but chickened out thinking it would of been seen as having miss intent) but most of your threads, to me, read as sermons almost. Telling, speaking to us rather than seeking support and personsonally i dont like to be told how i must do things to, lets say in this example, heal. Such as forgiveness for example.

I seek the absolute enormous amount of collective knowledge here as that i can use it to advance in my healing, not tell other how they should do things to better heal. As well as the enormous amount of support.

Thats just me, you obviously can write as you wish here.

 

[joeylittle]

Hey - there's nothing conceited about sharing your experience by saying 'I'

No clue where you got that one from.

People are allowed to tell you their opinion. You are allowed to disagree. That's how it works.

BTW, I find your re-write a hell of a lot easier to read. Because it's just honest to your experience and doesn't pretend to be anything more or less.

I'm merging this into your other thread, and giving it a sub-title, just FYI.

 

[BlueDream]

nothing like a little slut shamming.....

It sounds as if you know exactly what you are doing also.
1st time may have been on her, but you let her back in,
Why?

 

[Deleted member 34535]

I don't know about you, but with the way my life has gone, I feel at times like I have a Bullseye T-...[/QUOTE

Hey - there's nothing conceited about sharing your experience by saying 'I'

No clue where you got t...

The second was no more honest than the first!

 

[Deleted member 34535]

The second response, the rewrite, was no more honest than the first!

 

[Deleted member 34535]

The second response, the rewrite, was no more honest than the first!

I respect the personal opinions of the members here. I will let them conclude what they conclude. That is good enough for me!