Blacked Out

[Jnean]

I blacked out last night at some point and apparently watched something on tv,I talked to my wife, None if which I remember. Prior to that I felt stoned for no reason, not the good kind either, I did not feel myself, almost more like I felt trapped inside this other persons doings. I felt sick to my stomach. I don't know what happened to me. I have calls in today to my T and about my meds.

 

[Jnean]

I wonder where I went last night that I felt I needed protection as far as if I disassociated

 

[Kintsugi]

Sounds like pretty severe dissociation.

Calling your T is a good idea, especially if this isn't normal for you.

Your above question is a really good one and probably will bear fruit if you can figure it out.

Losing time/blacking out/severe dissociation can be pretty scary. (((Jnean))) I hope you get yourself to a place where you can better understand what happened and why.

 

[Jnean]

thank you Simon, my therapist says dissociation for sure and to not be alone she said in case it happens again. I'm not alone.also she reminded me that I could've been still in the aftermath for lack of better words of my emdr session with her the day before. We released some new memories that I could not cope with so I knew I made a choice at that moment to not be consumed by that. I didn't realize that I ended up in a manic state happy feeling like I could save the world. I may have just fallen from that so hard that I was literally crashing into what I couldn't cope with. Just thoughts and rambling trying to make some sense.

 

[EveHarrington]

Do you have a plan for ways to stay grounded if the dissociation starts up again?

Wishing you the best.

 

[Jnean]

im trying a plan out now by walking my neighborhood, listening to music,feeling grass under my feet, and the wind in my face.

 

[Jnean]

thank you, I'm so depressed like everything just took a turn for the worst again but I'm trying real hard to stay present

 

[EveHarrington]

Grounding can be incredibly challenging! I have a number of skills I like to turn to, but sometimes when it gets bad I just throw my hands in the air and stop fighting it. Sometimes this actually helps as I start to relax and feel safer, the head-in -the-clouds feeling starts to lift.

 

[Poofycat]

I blacked out from dissociation for the first time a couple weeks ago. It's really, really terrifying. I've worked with my T on grounding techniques quite a bit since then. It's really important to learn how to tell when the dissociation starts to kick in so that you start grounding. It's a learning process, and it will take some time to get it right. The important thing is to remember to be patient and kind to yourself. You're obviously processing a lot right now.

 

[Jnean]

thank you Poofycat I have recognized some things this week after my black out that are pre cursers I call them to disassociating. So far so good. I don't feel as scared today. I did work today so that could have helped keeping my mind occupied. My life feels different now. I strive to live in the present almost all the time for fear of checking out. I'm doing well for right now, I deal one minute at a time.