Body Language during therapy sessions

[Snowflake]

What types of body language does a therapist see during a session and what does it mean?

(I played with a part of my hair the entire session.....combing it with my fingers and twirling (she brought it up afterwards). )

 

[Kubash16]

I don't really know what all he notices (he doesn't explicitly mention anything anyway) but I've noticed there are certain times he will randomly write something down and I self examine and its like huh ya, got some serious hair tie twisting going on. Or scratching/pinching on big issues. Then he seems to want to talk about those particular items longer than I would like.

What did yours say about you?

 

[Snowflake]

I don't really know what all he notices (he doesn't explicitly mention anything anyway) but I've noticed there are certain times he will randomly write something down and I self examine and its like huh ya, got some serious hair tie twisting going on. Or scratching/pinching on big issues. Then he seems to want to talk about those particular items longer than I would like.

What did yours say about you?

It was a difficult session. I usually stare at a wall, hug a pillow, and never move. This time she said at the end that I must have been overly anxious because of me playing with my hair, pulling it occcasionally etc. I didn’t responded other than saying “I hate myself.” (A typical response for me)

 

[Kubash16]

I think they definitely do try to notice anything out of our norm. It helps them to figure out where your feelings are on certain issues and what needs to be tackled. It also helps them figure out where your level of trust is (besides verbal cues) with them. Does it make you nervous to be noticed like that?

 

[Snowflake]

I think they definitely do try to notice anything out of our norm. It helps them to figure out where your feelings are on certain issues and what needs to be tackled. It also helps them figure out where your level of trust is (besides verbal cues) with them. Does it make you nervous to be noticed like that?

Yes! I hate being watched so I don’t look st her.

 

[Kubash16]

I can understand that. I don't look at my T when I'm talking either. I do look when's he talking. Well most of the time. There are certain issues where I just can't yet.

I'm sure you can ask her and let her know how you're feeling about it. That could be a great topic to go over.

 

[hithere]

i think it is sadistic to tell someone you notice their body language--because it just comes off as a power move to make me feel smaller than the "observer.' in social situations if someone comments on my body language I always feel like giving the middle finger--yeah what' is my body saying know you ahole?

 

[Teamwork]

Mine talks about it in a way that is fine. Like the body has a story of it’s own, sometimes in sync with what you are saying sometimes not. I think he has also said the body doesn’t lie. He uses I notice, followed by do you want to talk about that or, did you notice? I have a cough that creeps in. took a long time to figure out together that it is used to avoid something. He notices it many more times than i do. He has said to me things like, he asked me to do something and i walk away from him to do it. He then tries to encourage togetherness or, you don’t need to work in isolation, I’m right here. He see’s, because he has studied and he knows what he is looking for. I don’t observe myself so it helps if we discuss it, but mostly no, I think he takes note for his own purposes. When I learned he was doing it I hated it but then of course as I often do, I forgot about it and don’t mind. What I have learned from it is that we have two languages, possibly three, what we say, how we say it and what the body says. When they all start to agree with each other your getting healthier or better. So for example if you say with your words, I’m not nervous, but your voice sounds shaky and your twirling your hair, either you are not being truthful or you are not in tune with what the body is trying to tell you.

 

[Kubash16]

Mine talks about it in a way that is fine. Like the body has a story of it’s own, sometimes in sync with what you are saying sometimes not. I think he has also said the body doesn’t lie. He uses I notice, followed by do you want to talk about that or, did you notice? I have a cough that creeps in. took a long time to figure out together that it is used to avoid something. He notices it many more times than i do. He has said to me things like, he asked me to do something and i walk away from him to do it. He then tries to encourage togetherness or, you don’t need to work in isolation, I’m right here. He see’s, because he has studied and he knows what he is looking for. I don’t observe myself so it helps if we discuss it, but mostly no, I think he takes note for his own purposes. When I learned he was doing it I hated it but then of course as I often do, I forgot about it and don’t mind. What I have learned from it is that we have two languages, possibly three, what we say, how we say it and what the body says. When they all start to agree with each other your getting healthier or better. So for example if you say with your words, I’m not nervous, but your voice sounds shaky and your twirling your hair, either you are not being truthful or you are not in tune with what the body is trying to tell you.

This ^^^^^

 

[Friday]

think it is sadistic to tell someone you notice their body language--because it just comes off as a power move to make me feel smaller than the "observer.'

I’m the opposite. Feedback on my body language -as long as it’s accurate- is super helpful to me, and very much appreciated.

 

[grit]

I thought twirling the hair was a form of flirting!

Thank you for this post. I was just today thinking about how my therapist asks to give her eye contact to be intrusive. I was thinking of saying to her hmmmm please let me give you eye contact on my own when I feel it. Weird I had this thought today.

to me a therapist should use body language observation therapeutically not as policing or creating compliance out of the clients.