Sufferer C-ptsd Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

[BerryFactory]

I guess I do not know how to quote correctly. Can someone give me step-by- step directions?

On the home page under the "Welcome to the PTSD" forum is a link to "Video help tutorials", it has a great video on quoting.:)

 

[safenow]

Can someone give me step-by- step directions?

Highlight the part you want to talk about, then you'll see a little, "quote me" click on that.

 

[enoughisenough]

Welcome. I'm new here too and my daughter has complex PTSD from her brother doing the same thing. I'm here to help her and me recover. Maybe we can help each other.

 

[Sivawoman]

Hi Enoughisenough .

This sounds like a great idea...both of my parents have been told. My mom is very respectful and tries to understand. I suggested she find her own therapist so she can process everything in a safe way. I'm not sure if you have felt this way or not, but my mom struggles with guilt because she didn't know, and couldn't stop it from happening. I think that in itself is somewhat traumatic. Maybe she was traumatized by learning about this. My dad and stepmother, on the other hand, dismissed things. In fact I was 11 or 12 when my stepmother noticed a spot on my arm where I had been cutting. She told me it was gross, and to stop doing it.

I know there was a time when I was very angry with both of my parents for not noticing, but I have forgiven them. So she will probably go through that stage too. You'll find lots of support here, as I already have.

Thank you for reaching out to me...I'm not very good at reaching out.
Laura

 

[safenow]

Hello, enoughisenough and Sivawoman. Welcome to the forum. I believe you will find many good, supportive people here. Also a lot of good information.

I always wanted my father to notice what my step-mother was doing to my sister and I. Then, I saw what he was doing to my sister, and I stopped. I wanted him to love me as much as he loved her. He would always hold her on his lap and touch her (where he shouldn't) and kiss her. As an adult I recognized that those were him being a pedophile. Back then, I had no clue. He kept saying he loved her, and so I thought that was what love was. Over the years I allowed a lot to happen because I thought that was love.

A horrible lesson to learn that my father taught me evil, without realizing he was doing that.

 

[Sivawoman]

Hi safenow.

Thank you for the welcome. I'm sorry your dad did this. My sister went through the same thing I did, but then my brother moved to my Dad's and I followed a year later. My sister stayed at my mom's where she was safe.

I feel guilty sometimes because my sister and I shared the same room, and I got the top bunk because I was older. I made my sister sleep on the bottom bunk, and that meant she had to endure the abuse while I was safe in the top bunk.

 

[safenow]

I feel guilty sometimes

Allow the guilt to be felt by he who did what he did. It was not your fault. I'm glad you were safe. I"m sorry either of you had to live in a house with abuse.

Now, repeat after me, "It was not my fault. I didn't molest my sister, my father did. He is the one who needs to feel that guilt, not me!"

I found that when I learned I was not held accountable for the sins of my husband, my migraines went away and I've not had one since then. I still get headaches, but not migraines. Guilt makes us feel pain. Don't you take on that pain. Let it go all to those who do those bad things.

 

[enoughisenough]

When my daughter told me what was happening, I immediately, of course, fully supported and believed her. I can't imagine not. I love her more than my own life. We put him (her half brother) in jail. I won't go into the details of that right now. That's another story. I got divorced (the marriage was not good before that at all and this was the cincher). Her other half brother and I got vicarious ptsd for not having rescued her before it happened, for her stories in graphic detail about what happened, for watching the horrible effect it had on this beautiful girl. He went into drugs and alcohol. I am in therapy. She's been in therapy since it happened. The good half brother refuses to get help. But she still suffers. She has complex PTSD, OCD, Dermatillomania, Medical Procedure Phobia (which is worse because she has chronic medical problems that need attention), and Anxiety. I believe these were all caused by the trauma. It breaks my heart every day. I wish I could undo what others have done. I wish there were truly justice.

I am writing a book about ptsd and rape trauma. I have been writing it since before she was born, concerning my own trauma. It is the one thing I never wanted her to have to go through. I thought I could protect her from it.

 

[BerryFactory]

When my daughter told me what was happening, I immediately, of course, fully supported and believed her. I can't imagine not. I love her more than my own life.

That is so amazing that you did that for your daughter. My mother does not believe me and takes my brothers side. I have not spoken to her in a couple years. Sometimes I think that it is more difficult given her response then the years of abuse I endured. It takes strong people to stand up for what is right or good and perhaps even more courageous when such guilt is involved. I hope the best for your family.

 

[enoughisenough]

Thank you berryfactory. It has been and still is very hard. But the hard part is not in supporting her-that's like breathing to me for anything she needs. The hard part is watching her hurt. Wish and needing to take the pain away-to make it like it never happened-and not being able to. Not being able to do more. Living with the truth. For her. That's the hardest part. The injustice and the injustice of the world.

 

[ms spock]

Hello Sivawoman and Welcome to the Forum.