First, I too am really sorry to hear about what has happened for you. It isn't okay to film or record a person without their consent. Where I live it is illegal. If a therapist did it without consent, s/he'd be struck off and likely taken to court. The client/therapist relationship should be built on trust. Trust is essential if a client is to work through their trauma. Trauma is about the fear of situations and not being safe negotiating them, fears that are imprinted on the brain and need a guide to take us through in a safe and caring environment. Yes, people make mistakes but I don't think I would trust the empathy, compassion and experience of a therapist who was naive enough to NOT raise/tell you about the camera issue before it was installed OR your session commenced. Many C/PTSD clients feel a lack of control or empowerment which may be compounded by a therapist who doesn't see this, someone who makes decisions that affect them without discussing it. Yes, sessions are for working out all sorts of issues but it is very difficult for someone with CPTSD to do so if the very trust of the session in unilaterally breached by the person who is supposed to be a safe and trusted support. I am also uneasy with the period of delay before your therapist actually responded. Why was this? And I wouldn't be satisfied with the answer you got. For me this kind of breach of trust would be a deal breaker. However, I do understand why others might see the benefit in working this thing through with your T. But long term, should your therapy be the place where a supposedly trained and experience therapist learns about ethics, honest communication, privacy, trust, respect etc.? You're not some kid whose parents arbitrarily decide what's right for you. Your therapist has made more than a small boo boo. Another thing is, that If I'm paying, I want my expectations of good therapy from the get go. What if I was having a baby and there were camera's installed without my consent?
I started Somatic Experiencing and EMDR therapy about 10 weeks ago and though it is hard work and sometimes two steps back, at least I feel I am with a really trustworthy guide with 30 years of experience. He's also a buddhist, meditates and charges based on what one can afford. His heart is in the right place. Three or so times I've felt uncomfortable by something said during the session, mostly because I have my own triggers...once the word 'inappropriate' was used in a particular situation that upset me and even though I partly took him up the wrong way, I had the courage to say it to him and he immediately acknowledged, apologized and said he understood exactly why I felt the way I did--and that he shouldn't have used the word. He said he was moved I had the courage to tell him, that my feelings were valid and he wanted me to let him know anytime something like that happened again. I cannot tell you how reassuring it is for me to respectfully confront someone, express my feelings and have them respected back. To have them heard. To be listened to as an equal. I'm not sure that has happened in your situation with the camera. And not all therapists really understand C/PTSD and its triggers OR they too get triggered because they may not have done their own 'work'.
So, if this were me, I would have to have it out with the therapist. Depending on how that went (and no holds barred) I would decide what to do. Whether I felt safe enough to continue. Either way, the confronting in a respectful way is a skillful way to work on our issues, and to that end, we feel the better for it. I wish you luck whatever you decide. But don't forget that you are absolutely in the right to challenge this and I would have felt the same as you...best, J
