Can You Recognise Yourself In A Mirror ?

[oasis2003]

Hi,
At a recent assessment with a therapist one of the many questions on a survey was : Can you recognise your self in the mirror ? This really got me thinking. Even though I answered yes I could recognise myself. When I look closely in the mirror at my eyes and soul it does not seem to be me ?!....... The next thought was then who the hell is this and what do I think I should look like? Not like who I can see in the mirror. Apparently I seem to have unresolved trauma/ traumas. In my reading about what is wrong with me ???!!!! It said sometimes traumatised people do not recognise them selves in a mirror weird ! I seem to be having a lot of de realisation and depersonalisation at the mo.


I was just wondering if any of you guys have had a similar experience and if any one can shed any light on it.

It is hard coping with all of this and my ptsd is really helping me so thanks :)

 

[digger]

This is really interesting and I think I'm similar to you with it. It's not like I look in the mirror and see someone I don't think is me, I understand that the reflection is mine but I don't feel any connection to what I see there. Same with photos. I don't know what I think I should look like.....I don't seem to have any concept of that.

I guess I haven't really considered whether it's 'normal' or not, or what I think other people feel about their reflections. I imagine it's one of those things that people don't actually give a lot of thought to unless they are asked and then I'm not sure that a lot of people would find the concept all that straightforward or easy to answer....

Hmmm....

 

[Friday]

There are a handful of actual conditions where a person cannot recognize themselves (or people they love, or new people, etc.) by sight. Meanwhile, TBI, and especially frontal brain slosh (actual term), can cause people to mix up associations. (Had a mate who would oh so gently cradle his duffle bag, while swinging the baby. Heart breaking. Before that, he'd think he was having a gentle talk with his hands on his daughter's shoulders... While in reality he was holding her by the shoulders to the ceiling while screaming at her.). Mixing up associations will sometimes include their own reflection. Their eyes see it, but the message doesn't process right. Meanwhile there are injuries and disorders where the person sees themselves as someone else, so the reflection? Hey. Cool magic trick. No. That's not me, Doc. How'd you do it? So there's actually a whole host of possible disorders & medical conditions based off of not being able to recognize yourself visually. Hence why the Q is in most in depth evals.

Then there's the disassociation & dysmorphic crowd... Where the question is taken more metaphorically (depersonalization, de realization, dislike, disgust). Answering positively flags the Q for moderator eval (to see if meant literally or metaphorically), before sending the patient/client for scans to look for structural problems (TBI / tumors / lesions / scarring / acute injury / etc.).

_________

As to your actual question... Yah. Happens all the time. I think I'm 19 in my head when I'm 30-mumble, or feel ancient and this young face is looking back at me, or my affect is off, or whatever. I know it's me. I just sort if forget what I'm supposed to look like until reminded. Oh yeah. That's me. Right. Weird. Okay. Carry on.

 

[Kefira]

I actively avoid photos for many reasons but partly because of this. I know I have some body dismorphia things that go on anyway. But often the visual doesn't match. Not that I know what I think it's supposed to be.

I just sort if forget what I'm supposed to look like until reminded. Oh yeah. That's me. Right. Weird. Okay. Carry on.

Yeah, exactly. I think for me the most common is just not feeling a connection to that, like not really internalizing "that's me". But then on occasion when I'm really de-personalized or my affect is definitely not matching my internal landscape (think at a party surrounded by people dressed up and with the defensive smile plastered on) I just really can't grasp that that's what I look like because there's such a disconnect there.

Interesting thread. I know I do this but hadn't really thought about whether it was 'normal' or whether it might be a common thing around here.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Me and mirrors, I can look at my teeth to brush and my hair. Can not look at my eyes, into my eyes.

 

[Chava]

Well there has to be a spectrum. If you just glance in the mirror and don't recognize the person at all, that's one thing. I don't gaze in mirrors at myself (like some girls and women tend to do) because I do have weird feelings of just not relating to or fully being that person. Just easier to not stare in mirrors. If I were to look really closely I'm sure I'd experience something different. The zoom in actually focuses me in on small and meaningless details that get me distance from the idea of "self"....like I'm tweezing a bit of eyebrow. If I stare into my own eyes they are weird because we just don't stare into our own eye much, right? :)

Anyway, I have some depersonalization and some issues of "self" that are separate in some tone but likely intertwined.

Do you think you recognized yourself in a mirror before? I wouldn't worry too much about it, but keep addressing present symptoms that are troublesome. Also, does your therapist think you have unresolved traumas based on this mirror thing or other stuff? The mirror thing itself could be totally within the range of normal, especially since you didn't notice it until after your therapist asked and you spent some time looking closely. So I wonder if it's a cognitive thing (you're "thinking" about it), uncertainty over "self" (common), the weirdness of looking in your own eyes, or something to ask your therapist about.

I believe in the traumatized version you would have noticed without having to thinking about it, if that makes sense...like been aware of not recognizing yourself at all and the uneasy feelings of that before, or been aware of avoiding looking in mirrors, etc. There might be some hints here for you but maybe try not to attach too much to it because stuff like this can also just be a therapeutic distraction.

 

[SeaQuel]

I don't know if this is related or not, but something that continues to bother me is I have almost no concept of how old I look to other people. I don't know how they perceive me - age-wise, I mean. I also don't understand how it is that I am numerically as old as I am. I have a hard time accounting for the numeric age, and I wonder if my numeric age reflects my physical looks. In my mind, I still think I can pass as someone younger, but I don't know if that's the reality. I also have no real basis for being able to determine another person's age and often consider a wide range of ages to be "about my age."

 

[Kintsugi]

I am certain I have a form of face-blindness.

This contibutes to my detachment from my actual image, although my face blindness is waaay more pronounced with the faces of others, particularly men.

My fiance cannot believe how face blind I am. It's sort of funny. Except it isn't. I rarely know who people are until I'm told, even in context. Sometimes I can't find myself in a photo with me in it. *shrug*

 

[oasis2003]

Hi,
Yes I can recognise myself but feel totally disconnected or much younger. Before the therapist asked this mirror question I def avoided looking in mirrors, did not like having my photo taken. As for my eyes they used to be less sad and dead looking and much more sparkly the reflection does not look like how I think me should look. Yes I can brush my hair clean my teeth etc but after that would prefer not to look in the mirror. I think the sense of my 'self' does not really exist at the moment. What I think I look like and what I see as my reflection do not match .

 

[InvisibleSun]

This is an excellent question...

No...no I don't recognize myself. When I look in the mirror..i see someone who is very tired..my eyes used to be so full of life..now..there's nothing there. My face is just a shell of who I used to be..