Ch-ch-ch-changes!

[LuckyDuck]

I'm starting to worry about my future. Mainly retirement. At my age if I work a sales job I will not retire until I am 70.

I'm considering two options: military service and trades.

I'll update the more I know on that.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Here are some ideas:

1. Director of First Impressions
2. Chief Troublemaker
3. Bride Kidnapping Expert
4. Pork Rind Taster

 

[LuckyDuck]

The reason why it's taken so long is tough to talk about. I grew up in a cult. The thought and guilt police reside there. The fear was there. I was a fervent follower - not a convert.

At a young age questionning was discouraged. The only way I could think was by asking if it pleased the cults god.

Depression hit at a young age. Seeking out a doctors help I spoke of my beliefs. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Because the cult I was in is a doomsday cult. Talk of fire and brimstone had the doctors think I was psychotic. Medications stripped me of my mind for years. My parents were of no help. They left me to rot until I turned 18 and kicked me out of their house.

I lived on the streets for four months. I survived. In retrospect, it was the time I was most alive. It was minute to minute planning. I learned that my city's bus system allowed for homeless to travel on their long routes to sleep. I have learned the UK has, or at least had a similar system. I'm neighbours with a woman who survived in the 70's riding the UK buses. Yes, the Harry Potter books, the one part where homeless witches and wizards is based on history. I'm grateful for the bus system. It kept me alive.

That's all for now.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

It is good that you are able to share those details of your life. I commend you on that. :)

 

[LuckyDuck]

Here are some ideas:

1. Director of First Impressions
2. Chief Troublemaker
3. Bride Kidnap...

That put a smile on my face. And then I wonder where the f*ck my cheque is. I'm employed in several already. Still have yet to meet some brides though. :)

 

[LuckyDuck]

It is good that you are able to share those details of your life. I commend you on that. :)[/Q...

Thank ye.

I oughta upgrade my sub here so I can post images. There are so many gifs I would post.

Just imagine a gif of that rainbow shooting star saying "The More You Know". :)

 

[LuckyDuck]

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

...the dumber I get. :wacky:

 

[LuckyDuck]

So today was hell. Food poisoning. Just wanted to mention my dream last night. The food poisoning brought it on. We're now in the early evening hours here and I'm still camped out in the loo sick. But much better than before I'll tell ya.

So about the dream. It was of my mother. She called the cops on me and when they came over, I was able to prove she was the aggressor. The cops took my side over hers.

She ended up on trial. She was broken because she couldn't cheat the system anymore.

My mother is my abuser. Though the dream brought me a little relief, I cried myself awake.

 

[LuckyDuck]

Legs tense to run but nowhere to go
Making sure I don't trip on my toes
Strangers in friends I've known for years
Don't talk about love, it only ends in tears

It's not easy sure, when there's no cure
No end in sight, but that's not right
It's just my head in my head and more
No more room for the pain to store

Just read this book and you will see
Cover to cover yet still mystery
There aren't answer just hypocrisy
As I'm shilling out money in hopes to be free

Will things work out? Well I don't know..
The Sandman waits with his cane in tow
Gotta work diligently, meticulously, for me
Givin' up ain't easy when you don't believe