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Chat, check-in, and hang out

Ah Yeah @ladee mentioned that Zentangle.. seems to be really really soothing.. how long can you Do them?
Sorry too many questions..
No, there aren't too many questions. I have actually just started with the workbook - only sat down with it twice, so far. Hard to say how long I might be able to work on them after I get used to doing them but I managed to draw in it for a little over an hour the other day.

Have you tried it? I really like it because I am not all that great at drawing but like to do it, anyway.

The hardest part is to trust thy self, it is for me..
I have that problem, too. Even if another person is being a total jackass, I assume that if it bothers me, then I am the jackass. It's all messed up.

Do my Yoga
I let my hypermobility get the better of me and I can't do yoga because too many parts are too weak. It's also hard for me to know where the stopping point should be on a stretch. I asked my PT to show me but when he realized how weak my shoulders are, he told me to forget it, for now. I've been active enough but don't always target the muscles I need to.

Do you mind me asking what you do for work?
I was a covid layoff in the spring and I am still bouncing around trying to figure out where I am going. I have been applying to jobs but competition is fierce right now, especially for remote work, which seems to be my best option so long as I am still in my current level of pain. Grateful that my hubby is holding things together for the time being.

But also needing to build up alliances because that is what we also Do in order to survive and thrive.
It's hard out there. I find that I do best working/volunteering in nonprofit settings as people tend to be more likely to be interested in healthy/helpful alliances. That has been my experience, anyway.

@RussellSue you are already doing the work.. 🌺
Thanks. Sometimes I think I got the wrong handbook and am doing the wrong things. It's weird, though, because I do alright in certain settings but crash and burn in a lot of places, such as grocery stores. I think the underlying thing is that anywhere where values might be utterly random, I tend to have a lot of fear. Here, we have common goals, like in AA, like at a nonprofit but the grocery store is a free-for-all. It just feels a whole lot less safe for me than most places.

I hope you are able to rest well!
 
Hard to say how long I might be able to work on them after I get used to doing them but I managed to draw in it for a little over an hour the other day.
That sounds like an hour to relax and to be in a more focused state of mind.
Have you tried it? I really like it because I am not all that great at drawing but like to do it, anyway.
No, I haven’t but it might be a thing to try out. I think almost everyone
is good in drawing.. I’ve seen people developing their skills really fast, and there has been no so called talent previously.



Even if another person is being a total jackass, I assume that if it bothers me, then I am the jackass. It's all messed up.
Do understand that RussellSue, I can identify the Jackass as the Jackass (Mostly) But I don’t trust the fact that I also can handle it well. And when I didn’t, that there was a reason behind it, that I can do it differently next time. But there is also twist that happens, only internally, that I also want the one who acts her or his aggression out on me to be the savior. It’s the trauma manuscript being played out. Not sure if that makes any sense?

It's also hard for me to know where the stopping point should be on a stretch. I asked my PT to show me but when he realized how weak my shoulders are, he told me to forget it, for now. I've been active enough but don't always target the muscles I need to.

That’s a good thing your PT made that clear statement about what works and what doesn’t. Is hypermobility a symptom of rheumatic changes? You might’ve even spoken about this in other posts of yourself I haven’t just read properly.

Do you mind me asking what you do for work
Im working as a medical assistant in a gynecological clinic, it has been a bit tough during the last few months, but I’ve got no choice or maybe I do and I’m still figuring out.
applying to jobs but competition is fierce right now, especially for remote work, which seems to be my best option so long as I am still in my current level of pain. Grateful that my hubby is holding things together for the time being.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you RussellSue. Glad to hear that your hubby is the solid pillar for now and that you have the freedom to take time and apply for jobs without too much pressure involved.
 
But sometimes I just rock out - and who knows what style that is??
That’s Rock-out Dance.
We did an assessment the other day and I am getting stronger, so progress is being made, finally. I also reported less injury-related disability. Wahoo!
Thats really good Progress. Congrats
It's weird, though, because I do alright in certain settings but crash and burn in a lot of places, such as grocery stores. I think the underlying thing is that anywhere where values might be utterly random, I tend to have a lot of fear.
You also mean that having a set of rules in certain social environments gives you a sense of safety? When there is no safety-net then things become indeterminable? For me, not sure if it’s the same for you? If there’s no inner-felt-sense of safety then I’m searching for it more in the outer...
 
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Intrusive thoughts, I've been having them too. My T asked me to write them down for him. I have been doing that for almost two weeks now. I call this hearing voices, but I think it is the same thing. They seem to have nothing to do with anything, but then I watched a Western on TV at my neighbor's last night. Today's voices seem to be about death, and the movie had two murders in it. Now I don't know what the voices have to do with. Maybe they do have something to do with my life.
 

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No, I haven’t but it might be a thing to try out. I think almost everyone
is good in drawing.. I’ve seen people developing their skills really fast, and there has been no so called talent previously.
I have seen that, as well. I remember developing my own drawing skills when I was younger. I really was not a natural but I got better.

I have really enjoyed the Zentangle stuff so far. I just have to sit my ass down and do it. I'm actually glad I am talking about it because I have a really bad habit of picking up all the tools for a new hobby just to do it a couple of times and then never again. I better put it on the schedule for today or it might become one more thing my husband can reference while trying to talk me out of the next thing I get excited about. 😆

I also want the one who acts her or his aggression out on me to be the savior. It’s the trauma manuscript being played out. Not sure if that makes any sense?
It does make sense. I've had that same thing happen. I'm not sure I completely understand it but I have definitely had those hopes.

Is hypermobility a symptom of rheumatic changes?
No, I was always hypermobile and my understanding is that most of the problems I have with inflammation were caused by hypermobility. Apparently, hypermobility and hip dysplasia co-occur a lot but I don't think that one happens ahead of the other -- they are both from-birth things. I feel like hypermobility probably is the main cause of my injuries last year. I have osteoarthritis that may have developed as a result of hip dysplasia/impingement but all of these are minor. My hunch is that I was probably more likely to suffer labral tears in my hips from being highly hypermobile in that area than from the levels of dysplasia/impingement/arthritis that I have. Nevertheless, they all work together to complicate things and I have yet to be given a solid medical answer regarding what the biggest/first problem was.

Im working as a medical assistant in a gynecological clinic, it has been a bit tough during the last few months, but I’ve got no choice or maybe I do and I’m still figuring out.
Wow! I have such a hard time in medical settings, it floors me when I hear that other people with PTSD are able to work in them. But I have a lot of medical trauma. I wouldn't consider the possibility of ever working in a medical setting for myself.

This seems like an extremely hard time to work in the medical field. I cannot begin to imagine the amount of stress involved with all the new things going on with sanitizing and distance and who knows what all else. Kudos to you for making it through these last few months.

Glad to hear that your hubby is the solid pillar for now and that you have the freedom to take time and apply for jobs without too much pressure involved.
Thank you! I am duly impressed with him at the moment. He's growing, too, and I am so proud of him.

It has really taken a load off. I feel like I have the opportunity to make decent decisions that bill-paying anxiety got in the way of at earlier times in life. I used to wait tables which was HELL on my anxiety and a nightmare on my body but necessary at the time. At this point, I got through school but still have some limitations and it is nice to know that I finally have the opportunity to look for work that is sustainable for me.
 
have really enjoyed the Zentangle stuff so far. I just have to sit my ass down and do it. I'm actually glad I am talking about it because I have a really bad habit of picking up all the tools for a new hobby just to do it a couple of times and then never again.
But you are now.. and that counts! Do you feel you can concentrate better after Zentangle? Good to read it’s enjoyable for you
 
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