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I quit smoking 3 weeks ago. Today is actually day 22.

I am so happy and proud of you. I quit a year and a half ago and it has made a huge difference in my health. I already have COPD so I really needed to stop because I was not going to last long the way I was going. The only thing I did to help me quit was I stopped buying cigs and I stayed clear of people who smoked and I had smoked for 40 some years. So glad I quit and I am truly happy for you!!!
 
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I quit smoking 3 weeks ago. Today is actually day 22.

I smoked a lot when I had schizophrenia (or a schizophrenia dx - whatever) and I did a fair amount of research on it. It turns out that the vast majority of schizophrenics smoke and the best explanation I could find for the phenomenon was low levels of GABA in the schizophrenic brain - smoking increases GABA temporarily. Niacin can increase GABA, too. Nicotinic acid is one form of a niacin supplement that is on the market and I took this the last time I stopped smoking. It was way more helpful than the pills, the patches, the gum (which I was also addicted to for a while), etc. If you don't have any liver problems, it might be worth looking into, not because you are schizophrenic, of course, but I personally think suddenly not adding GABA to the brain is probably something a lot of people struggle with during withdrawals. Since exercise also increases GABA that would probably be even better.
 
Why am I not over this by now? I hate it when T leaves for a vacation. I don’t know if this is the usual abandonment crap or maybe it’s the pandemic trigger. I’m happy for her. Just not thrilled for me.
I guess everyone deserves a vacation, too bad they can't do it when it is convenient for us, not them!
 
I am so happy and proud of you. I quit a year and a half ago and it has made a huge difference in my health. I already have COPD so I really needed to stop because I was not going to last long the way I was going. The only thing I did to help me quit was I stopped buying cigs and I stayed clear of people who smoked and I had smoked for 40 some years. So glad I quit and I am truly happy for you!!!
Lionheart I am so glad for you. I know we were talking about quitting at the same time. It took me longer. I too have COPD and needed to do this. With covid, I stay clear of everyone so its a good time I guess.
 
Why am I not over this by now? I hate it when T leaves for a vacation. I don’t know if this is the usual abandonment crap or maybe it’s the pandemic trigger. I’m happy for her. Just not thrilled for me.

Don't beat yourself up. It's okay not to be over it, I think. It's a natural response for you built on past experiences. And I think the pandemic makes everything harder, it certainly did for me. Luckily where I am we are not in any sorts of lockdowns now.
I am facing the same situation with my T. He is going to be away for all of October and I've still got a month before that happens but I'm already anxious about it. Abandonment is a huge thing, hard to control those feelings I think even when you know what's causing it. I've only reconnected with my T in the last two months after having not seen him for around 12 years, so I also stress about where my trust levels will be at upon his return. It takes me a long time to trust fully and I only really trust one person in life, my husband. I know after 4 weeks I will have regressed significantly in that area but I'm just trying to work towards accepting that it's just a reality I can't change and I guess I'll address it with my T when he returns and try and rebuild some trust. I think we all understand that everyone needs holidays and it will make them better at their job with breaks, it's just trying to manage through that period alone that's tricky.
You're doing great though, you realise why you're struggling and you're talking about it. And each day you get through is one day less! :D
 

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