I don't know that a second grader ( or a fourth graders for that matter) has the capacity to know that that is wrong ( a second grader isn't exactly a "guy"). What I do think is that those children had that done to THEM and was doing what they were taught to other kids.
Yeah, that’s what I feel too, which is why for me, I don’t consider my situation to be cocsa. Because it’s not normal behaviour, as children that age shouldn’t know about that, so it’s likely that they were probably exposed to it themselves and were just reenacting it, as what all kids do.
That being said though
@harvardmydream, it still doesn’t mean that what happened to you wasn’t traumatic because that depends on how you felt and how it has impacted you. So you should still seek therapy for it.
Is a label important to you in terms of how you view it? Because the label is irrelevant to your experience, it’s irrelevant to the impact it has had on you, and it will be irrelevant to healing if you decide to do therapy or seek help for it. Try not to get too caught up in the label. I think we as a society often spend too much time trying to label traumatic incidents because we feel it’s necessary. We feel that if there isn’t a label or if it doesn’t seem like a serious enough label, then it means that what we experienced wasn’t important or serious, that it didn’t have a negative impact on us, that we don't deserve help, that our feelings aren’t valid, because what happened wasn’t trauma or if it was trauma, then it wasn’t serious trauma, for example, a single sexual assault vs. sexual abuse for years. But really that is irrelevant because it doesn’t matter how many times or how much injuries, etc., it matters how it affected you. And even if it turns out not to be considered cocsa, that still doesn’t mean your feelings are irrelevant because what happened to you wasn’t right and it should have happened. Like for me, the reason I don’t consider mine to be cocsa is because I don’t think my classmate intended to hurt me or even knew exactly what he was doing, so I don’t blame him for what he did. But I do blame the person who exposed him to it because that wasn’t right. So for me, I don’t consider it to be cocsa because of where I place the blame for it happening.
