Childhood Child on child sexual abuse (COCSA)?

[Strangelongtrip]

I experienced something similar when I was 5 and 8, and repressed it for years until I had adult sexual assault trauma. I found working through the first traumas helped with the rest.

 

[mumstheword]

This thread was helpful. Thank you to the contributors and the OP for posting.

 

[harvardmydream]

After thinking about this for a while I'm going to say what happened to me was 100% valid. It was abuse. Even though he was a child he molested me. He hurt me. He 100% knew what he was doing. This abuse caused issues as I got older and this just shows that my experience is 100% valid. So if you are a victim and survior of COCSA what happened to you is abuse and your experience is 100% valid. It doesn't matter who does it, abuse is abuse. I repressed this memory and once it was remembered I was a mess for a while I hated myself, felt disgusted, and ashamed. I was crying all the time thinking it was my fault. It wasn't my fault. And it isn't your fault either. My body and mind repressed this for a while because it knew it would be to stressful to handle. This just shows no matter the abuse of your abuser, abuse causes negative side effects. COCSA is a real thing and is 100% valid, I wish more people knew about it and knew how harmful it can be, and how many surviors feel invalid. But as I mentioned what happened to you is 100% valid.

 

[Gs172003]

After thinking about this for a while I'm going to say what happened to me was 100% valid. It was abuse. Even though he was a child he molested me. He hurt me. He 100% knew what he was doing. This abuse caused issues as I got older and this just shows that my experience is 100% valid. So if you are a victim and survior of COCSA what happened to you is abuse and your experience is 100% valid. It doesn't matter who does it, abuse is abuse. I repressed this memory and once it was remembered I was a mess for a while I hated myself, felt disgusted, and ashamed. I was crying all the time thinking it was my fault. It wasn't my fault. And it isn't your fault either. My body and mind repressed this for a while because it knew it would be to stressful to handle. This just shows no matter the abuse of your abuser, abuse causes negative side effects. COCSA is a real thing and is 100% valid, I wish more people knew about it and knew how harmful it can be, and how many surviors feel invalid. But as I mentioned what happened to you is 100% valid.

Again you need to be in therapy. Look for a therapist that specializes in trauma.

 

[unbrokenn]

You absolutely were violated when that happened and I’m truly sorry for that. They shouldn’t have done that and yes, anything that is in your body without you saying yes is assault so don’t feel as if you aren’t allowed to feel this way, I know I also have days I question myself but you are allowed to feel upset or hurt.

 

[Deanna]

Absolutely, he was my best friend at 13. I didn't know it was wrong because my mom never said anything, she was a schizophrenic so I just grew up on the streets. She was also doing the same thing in our house. ( it's a long story).

I went out with him when I was older but it didn't work. He's married now but drinks and smokes.. So we wouldn't have been a good match anyway.

I was sexually active very young because I had been abused. There were others, but not many.

 

[hurtandsad]

Yes it was sexual abuse.

 

[annoymous]

When i was in primary age 8-10 years old, my best friend (we were both girls) and i were sexually intimate in very dirty ways (i was naked and she was spanking me, i was naked and spinning while she was tickling intimiate places, etc). I never said no, i never enjoyed it, but i never said no.
Am i overreacting or am i okay to feel guilty and depressed?
I have only began to think about this stuff again at 14yo so 4 years after it finised.

 

[harvardmydream]

When i was in primary age 8-10 years old, my best friend (we were both girls) and i were sexually intimate in very dirty ways (i was naked and she was spanking me, i was naked and spinning while she was tickling intimiate places, etc). I never said no, i never enjoyed it, but i never said no.
Am i overreacting or am i okay to feel guilty and depressed?
I have only began to think about this stuff again at 14yo so 4 years after it finised.

You didn't constant. You not saying anything does not mean you consented.

 

[Wonder Woman]

Does not matter what the law states, you were in fact sexually assaulted... manually raped, to be more to the point.

Your classmate obviously was reacting to being sexually abused himself. The whole situation is so heartbreaking.

If you haven't already, I hope you will seek help to work through all of this. Please know that you were not to blame. You were just a child. You did the best you could to manage an unimaginable situation. I mean, who really knows about "fingering" in 2nd grade. Only those who have been unfortunate enough to be raped this way. You had no concept of what was happening; so give your 7/8-year-old self a break, already. You did nothing wrong. Just because you smiled, doesn't mean you did something wrong. Heck, even if it felt somewhat good, you still didn't do anything wrong.

Please, be kind to yourself. I will pray for your healing.