Childhood Childish

[Go Hungry]

@mytai I have to be careful, because if I don't watch it he'll surface... okay yeah, this is getting too close. I'll see if I can get back on this thread later..

 

[mytai]

@Go Hungry hope he isn't harsh with you. Be gentle with Go Hungry Kid.

 

[WildMermaid]

Oh dear I had no idea this topic might bring up anger for others. :( I'm sorry.

 

[Go Hungry]

Heya @WildMermaid , just to let you know... Everything is cool. This thread is a very good idea. Don't let my troubles get in the way. I was just having some issues last night, and neither he nor I want him to surface. All it does is make things unhappy. So don't let one little thing get in the way of a great thread. ;)

 

[Saria]

comforting that little broken girl and letting her speak and react to life

This seems like this is such an important part of the healing process! How wonderful that you're starting to accept and take care of the child in you :) Even if it's painful at times. In the beginning, when I was starting to connecting with "her", all I could feel was overwhelming sadness and fear, more intense than I've ever felt as an adult. But little by little she blossomed, and I realized that she is the fun and playful side I never thought I had. This subject always makes me cry as it touches me on such a deep level. It's of the good sort though, and I guess she's just thrilled to be seen. At last.

The most powerful single event that lead to progress in my healing process was the first moment "little Saria" felt accepted. I think it was in January when I was getting more and more childlike, and I felt embarrased for behaving like that in front of my boyfriend, so we sat down and talked about it. He must be one of the most understanding and supportive human beings alive! I was expecting that he might not believe me or couldn't possibly understand how I can literally feel like a five year old. I was wrong. His response after we talked about it: "Tonight you and me are gonna have a "little Saria" celebration. A cosy evening wrapping ourselves up in duvets, watching your favourite movie, eating your favourite candy, playing games or whatever you like!". Finally experiencing the compassion and care she/I never felt growing up, "little Saria" had the best night ever. We watched Lassie, ate candy, and drank my favourite beverage that my parents never cared to buy: TROPICAL JUICE! Haha, it might seem like a small thing, but for me this was huge! And now I'm crying like a child (!) again, who would've thought :)

[DLMURL="https://www.myptsd.com/c/members/28731/"]@Born to Run[/DLMURL] found some neat coloring pages here! EDIT: I blushed whilst doing it but I added an album titled "Little Stuffs" that anyone can share in. Posted a bunch of pages to color.

Nice! I used to like coloring as a child, but haven't done it in ages, so maybe this can be one of those embracing-your-inner-child activities that my T is requesting.

 

[WildMermaid]

@Saria thank you for sharing your personal experiences with us here! I'm crying too from the beauty of it. :hug:

 

[mytai]

Little and I were tested SO much at work, so many mean and rude people on the phones today. I went to the library on my first break and printed off "adult" colouring sheets for Little to colour so she could let me work. She kept quiet for most of the time even when people were mean to us. A few times Little got upset and stormed out of the quiet spot. Baby steps, but maybe I can work out an agreement with Little to let me have some time as me with T on Monday.

 

[WildMermaid]

Bravo @mytai to you and little! This seems like an incredible breakthrough! :hug:

 

[Born to Run]

@WildMermaid Thank you so much for the link you shared :hug: I have never thought of doing this. Do you use coloured pencils or other? I will take a look at your folder too. No blushing; it is cool :smug:

@mytai I am really relieved to hear your progress with little, small steps count too :D

 

[WildMermaid]

@Born to Run I'm using colored pencils today but would have used crayons if they were not a mangled mass. lol. Big :hug: There are a bunch of them online, just was not sure what you would not so I found some complex and then shared my favorite Disney characters *giggle* except Stitch 'cause I've not found one of him yet (but I will!) Anyone can add to that folder so please do! Let's make it for the kid in all of us! :hug: <3

 

[greycrayon]

My little is very naughty in a very cute way. She loves to make fun of everyone and have fun. She likes dogs and cats and people. Lots of energy.

 

[mytai]

Update from Little and Me: Today was better than yesterday. Little got mad at me yesterday, I think, because I did like 6 hours of course work. I felt Little start raging, and then I don't remember anything for a while. Little ended up getting me hurt, or hurting me, not sure which, but I have bruises. Today I was scared to sit down and do more course work, I started then chickened out and decided to clean the entire apartment from top to bottom, and get laundry done. So now I have a super clean smelling apartment, clutter mostly gone, and clean clothes. I also managed to do a quick walk over to the grocery store to get some food. I eventually sat down and did about 2 hours of course work without Little raging. Thankfully tomorrow night I see T, hoping she can help me come to an agreement with Little or something so I'm not hurt again.